Richie Tozier is NOT One Up for Change
by milevenreddie
Summary: But he does it anyways. Or tries too. Pairings: Reddie, Benverly, and Stenbrough. It's a VERY slow burn for Reddie
1. Chapter 1

**Hi guys! This isn't a new story as it's on ao3, but it's new on here! Like I said over there, I've never really written angst before, so bare with me! This story doesn't get updated no where near as often as Where Do You Run, so you'll get a chapter once a week for seven weeks (that's how many I have done now) and afterwards there's no telling when I update. I have _way_ too many stories right now I'm an idiot XD. **

**Hope you guys like it!**

* * *

 **Saturday, November 4, 2017**

At age ten, Richie knew that he could be an annoying little shit, it's one of his favorite hobbies, to annoy people. Even at age sixteen (going on seventeen in a couple of months), he knew that. But what most people don't know is the reason behind that. Richie's usually a happy guy, he has awesome friends and his parents are pretty awesome. He's also a giant nerd, that gets picked on and beat up, being called a fag or queer for no reason. Well, there is a reason, because he _is_ bi, but no one actually _knows_ that but himself and himself alone. At least, none of the people in Derry knew.

But he also has anxiety. It started around the age of twelve, in middle school, and has only gotten worse. Not to say that it was a constant thing but… it kind of was. He couldn't sleep, most nights. He over analyzes _everything,_ except for his jokes and random comments. When he does something incredibly stupid or embarrassing, he thinks about it for hours on end, unable to focus on anything other than what he did. And it didn't have to be that day, or the day before. It would usually be something he said or did from months or even years ago.

He's incredibly insecure, he hates the way he looks. His hair is a mess, his nose is too big, he's too tall and looks like a baby giraffe who can barely walk. The only thing he kind of likes are his teeth, which, considering they're too big for his liking, is saying a lot. They used to be crooked as all hell, but his parents got him braces when he was twelve and he got them off when he was fifteen, and he still wears a retainer at night.

He wanted to change, he really did, but he _hates_ change. He likes to make people laugh, or try to make them laugh. He likes the attention, even if he's getting looked at weird or cussed out by one of his friends. The only attention he doesn't like, obviously, is the Bowers gang, but then again, who _would_ like their attention?

Richie never cared about changing until his friends started getting _really_ annoyed with him. More so than usual. He couldn't sit still for _anything_ , and it irritated Stan the most.

"Would you sit still for more than two minutes, Richie? _God_!" Richie stopped bouncing his knee and grinned at Stan from the other side of the table. The two were _studying_ at the library. Richie didn't need to study, but Stan insisted that he'd get even better grades if he did, so he at least _tried_ for his best friend.

"Sorry, Staniel. I just get oh so nervous in your presence!" He said dramatically, putting a hand over Stan's, who jerked it away from him with scowl.

"Don't touch me." He muttered. "Who knows where those hands have been."

"In your mom's pan-"

"Beep beep, Richie."

Beep beep Richie was the only thing that actually shut him up. If someone told him to _shut up_ he'd continue talking or doing whatever he was doing. He wasn't completely sure why they started saying that, but he thinks it's because it reminds him of clowns and he _hates_ them, so it'll shut him up.

Richie shut right up and continued trying to study. He didn't say anything for a while, so Stan looked at him to see if he'd fallen asleep or something. Richie was staring at the table, eyes glazed over a little.

"Jeez, Rich, did you have an aneurysm over there or something?" He asked, nudging Richie's foot with his own. Richie's eyes snapped up and he blinked. He coughed a little.

"Uh, no, I'm good, Stan the Man. Just thinking about-"

"If you say one thing about my mother I swear to God." Richie grinned cheekily but didn't continue with his sentence. But, he did say,

"I don't understand why we're still here. We've been here for like, three hours and I'm bored."

"It's been thirty minutes, Richie." Stan sighed, rubbing his forehead, already regretting asking Richie to come study with him.

"I'm still bored." He shrugged.

"Go make memes or something. Whatever weird shit you do in your free time."

"I'll have you know, Stanley the Manly, that I have over twenty thousand followers on Instagram because of my amazing ability to create memes!"

"I wouldn't know, because you won't tell me your damn username."

"Private stuff, my dude." He pointed at him and grinned cheekily. "Just so you know, it's one of the greatest things I've ever done." He wasn't lying, either, his Instagram account, his main one at least, was his greatest accomplishment, because that's where most of the thoughts and feelings he had were said. He'd never talked to his friends or parents about them, and he didn't plan to. He didn't really make memes, he just ranted multiple times on his Instagram story or in live streams, and usually, his followers agreed with him or tried to cheer him up. He never showed his face or used his actual voice, he made his voice deeper when he spoke in the videos. His followers were the only people who knew about his sexuality, and he intended for it to stay that way. At least until after he graduated and moved to LA, or New York. Wherever the wind takes him.

"Why don't you tell us your Instagram, Rich?" Mike asked, trying to look over Richie's shoulder at his phone, but he wasn't even on his main account, he was on his private, that he had only for his friends and family.

"Jokes on you, Michael, I'm on my private so you can look all you want!" He said, waving his phone in his face. "Because I have some _private_ things on there." He grinned cheekily at him.

"I'm gonna assume you mean dirty so I'm not gonna ask again." Richie snickered and shrugged.

Richie knew he was crude and made disgusting jokes or remarks, but that's just how he was. _Who_ he was, and for the most part, his friends accepted it.

He knew he'd taken it a little too far at movie night at Bill's, the next Friday. He's been annoying everyone purposefully all day, just to get a kick out of it because he's _Richie_ and apparently, it was _not_ the day to joke around Eddie, because he pushed Richie off of him harshly, knocking him onto the floor after he tried to pinch his cheeks.

"I'm not in the mood for your annoying ass, Richie." He hissed. "Leave me the fuck alone." Richie sat up and fixed his glasses as Bill just rolled his eyes and started the movie.

"Jeez, Eds, just trying to love on ya." He said, looking up at Eddie with a grin.

"Shut the fuck up Richie. God, turn around and watch the damn movie." The way Eddie said it made the grin drop off his face in an instant and he turned around and scooting so he was away from the couch completely, and not facing any of them in any way. He didn't say another word.

 _Why did he say it like he hated me?_ Richie asked himself, twisting a loose string of carpet around his finger. _What am I saying, he probably does. They all probably hate me._ That got him thinking, which wasn't a good thing because like Eddie, when Richie got to thinking, he thought way too much and got in over his head. _If they hate me, why do they deal with me? Is it because I won't let them go away? Won't leave them alone? Or are they just pitying me because they know I hate myself?_

He did, he hated himself. He realized it in that instant, and he felt tears stinging the back of his eyes. His entire body froze, the only movement his shoulders as he breathes. He took a chance and glanced at the others, who seemed relaxed and happy with each other, all cozied up on the couch and recliner together while he sat on the floor by himself. Another minute, and he stood up, digging in his pocket for his cigarettes. He'd use that as an excuse to go outside, so he could _leave._ He just shook it a little as he walked away to show them and grabbed his jacket and bag he'd brought, as they always slept over, as discreetly as he could, and walked right out the door. He was glad he'd parked his truck a couple blocks away because they wouldn't hear him as he left. He smoked three, yes _three,_ cigarettes on his way home and the second he walked in the door, his mom made a face.

"What are you doing home? I thought you were staying at Bill's? And Lord, how much have you smoked today?"

"Pretty sure I'm not wanted there, mother dear." He said, shrugging. He dropped his bag on the floor and toed off his shoes as he took his jacket off. "And I smoked three on the way home." She stood from her spot on the couch and walked over to him.

"What's wrong?" She asked. "Why do you think you're not wanted there? What did they say?"

"It's not them." He said, shaking his head. "Well, it is but… Eddie basically said he hated me."

"He what?" She nearly shrieked.

"Jeez, Ma." He made a face. "He told me he wasn't in the mood for my annoying ass and pushed me on the floor and told me to leave him alone."

"That doesn't mean-"

"You didn't see the look on his face or hear the way he said it, Ma." He bit his lip.

"I'm sure he didn't mean it, Rich." She said, wrapping her arms around him. He hugged her back.

"Oh! Family hug time! I want in!" Wentworth exclaimed, running over to them from the kitchen and wrapping his arms around them both. Richie laughed. "What're you doing here, kiddo?" He asked, still hugging them.

"Decided I wanted to hang out with my old folks, ya know?" He replied, grinning at his dad, thankful his mom didn't say otherwise.

"We're not old, you lil shit." Went said, fondly ruffling his hair. "We're only thirty three!"

"Exactly, old." Richie raised an eyebrow as they let each other go.

"How are we old? We're not even middle aged!"

"I think anyone older than sixteen is old in his eyes." Maggie said, snorting.

"Accurate." He nodded as if agreeing with himself. He picked his bag up and shouldered it. "I'm gonna go put my shit up and take a shower. If you need me I won't hear so come bang on my door." He said, walking up the stairs. "But don't actually-" He stopped himself from making a dirty joke. "Uh, never mind, I'll be up here." He walked up the stairs quickly and Maggie frowned. Went looked at her with a grin, but it dropped when he noticed the look on her face.

"What's wrong?" He asked. She sighed and looked up at him.

"There's something up with him. I don't know what, but…"

"It's probably just hormones." He said, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "You know how I was at his age." She snorted and nodded.

"Yeah, you horn dog."

"Hey, it takes two to tango!" He said, poking her cheek. She rolled her eyes.

"And that tango resulted in a baby at seventeen." She glanced back at the stairs and let out another sigh, shaking her head, "But I'm glad we've got him."

"Me too. Kid's got a lot of spunk in him. He'll go places, he just needs to chill a little bit with the profanity." She scoffed and pushed him.

"Like you're one to talk."

Back at Bill's house, Ben noticed that Richie hadn't come back yet, and it'd been at least thirty minutes.

"Guys, Richie hasn't come back in yet." He said. Stan grabbed the remote from Bill and paused it, looking at him.

"How long has he been out there? He probably froze to death."

"Not funny, Stanley." Eddie grumbled, standing up and trudging to the door. He'd been in a bad mood all day because of his mom, which wasn't very surprising to the others. He opened the door and called out, "Richie! If you've been out here smoking nonstop for the last thirty minutes, I'll be the one to kill you instead of the cigarettes!" There was no response. His eyes furrowed and he stepped onto the porch, looking down both directions, Richie's truck nowhere in sight. He walked back in and shut the door. "He's gone."

"Gone?" Bill asked. Eddie nodded.

"His truck isn't outside, anywhere." He took his phone out of his pocket and texted the group chat, knowing Richie was more likely to respond there than he would just between them.

 **The Losers Club!3**

(9:41)Spagheds- Richie, where the hell are you?

(9:46) Mammy Bev- Richard Tozier, answer us right now

(9:52) Pappy Ben- Richie!

(9:54) Dickard- I'm at home

(9:55) Spagheds- why'd you leave?

(9:56) Dickard- i was needed at home

(9:56) Billy Bill- what happened?

(9:59) Dickard- Relax, guys. I'm fine. I'm at home with my parents.

(10:00) Stan the Man- We didn't ask if you were fine. We asked what happened.

(10:01) Dickard- Thanks.

(Dickard has left the chat)

"What the fuck?" Bev mumbled, looking at the others. They shrugged.

"He's never willingly left the chat. Do you think something's wrong? Like, actually wrong?" Mike asked.

"I'm gonna go call him." Bev said, matter of factly and stood, grabbing her jacket and going outside for a smoke break too.

"Better make sure she doesn't ditch us too." Stan muttered.

"Come on, pick up." Bev grumbled, calling for the third time.

"Bev! What do I owe the pleasure!" Richie's loud voice asked.

"Jeez, quiet down some. You'll wake Eddie's mom all the way from your house, if that's where you really are." She accused.

"I'm not lying, I'm at home. You can talk to Ma if you want." He said, completely ignoring the urge to make a joke about Eddie's mom, which sort of shocked Bev. Bev sighed.

"I know. What's wrong though?"

"Nothing, Bevvie Lou! I'm perfectly fine. Just thought I'd come home and chill with my folks, you know?"

"You were all excited about staying the night, earlier, Rich. And you've never wanted to stay home and _chill_ with your parents."

"Eh, I guess I just wanted a change."

"A change from what? Did we do something?"

"Nah, Bev, really, I'm _fine_. You don't have to worry about lil ol' me."

"Richie-"

"Dad just yelled up the stairs that the food was here, so I've gotta go. I'll talk to ya later, Bevs!" He hung up without giving her a chance to reply. She huffed and put the cigarette out, throwing it in the bucket Bill had bought for her and Richie and went back in.

"He said that he just wanted to spend time with his parents." She said, mocking him as she sat back down next to Ben. "Said he wanted a change, but he didn't say from what."

"What kind of change would he want anyways? He fucking loves movie nights over here." Eddie said, making a face. She shrugged.

"I don't know, but I don't like it. It's weird."

Before Richie went to bed that, he went to his notes and wrote a small paragraph, screenshotted it, and posted it on his main account.

 _I think I sort of… lost my friends today. Maybe not LOST but they definitely weren't very happy with me. I know I'm an annoying ass hat most of the time and I have been my entire life, but I've known them all for at least 4 or 5 years, longer with some of them, so they should be used to it by now. I don't know if they've all just been pretending to be my friend or what, especially E… The way he looked and talked to me today made if feel like he hated me. I was being annoying then but still. He most likely hates me but I'm in love with him. Pretty shitty, huh? Motivation for the day, or, uh, night, don't be an annoying ass to your friends on purpose._


	2. Chapter 2

**Sunday, November 12, 2017**

He barely got three hours of sleep, probably falling asleep around six and waking up a little after nine. He'd been thinking all night, about the way he acted. He was loud, he was awkward, he wore weird looking and colorful clothes that his friends and family didn't like, he looked like a frog and a beaver had a baby (not his words, Bowers), and he cussed way too much. He wanted to change, so he did. He didn't utter a single cuss word in front of his parents today, and he went to the mall and bought some more… normal, looking clothes. Solid color shirts, jeans without holes in them, a dark red hoodie and a new pair of black converse. One thing he'd told himself, that was if he was gonna change his appearance and the way he acted in real life, he wouldn't on social media. As in his main Instagram, at least. Before he went to bed, he posted a random meme he found that he thought was funny, and gave a few song suggestions on his story.

* * *

 **Monday, November 13, 2017**

Again, he barely got any sleep, but the next morning, he forced himself to get up early so he wouldn't be late to school (like usual) and attempted to tame his curls using hair gel, and he did to an extent. He put on a grey, long sleeved shirt he got and black jeans with his hoodie. Grabbing his book bag, wallet and phone, he made his way downstairs, ready to go.

"Whoa, you're up early and ready to go." Maggie said, raising an eyebrow at him. He shrugged.

"Yeah, figured I should stop being late everyday. Not good for my reputation." She chuckled.

"Do you want some coffee or anything?" She asked. He shook his head and grabbed his keys off the counter.

"Nah, I'm good."

"You look nice, by the way. Trying to impress someone?" She asked, wiggling her eyebrows. He gave her a forced smile and shook his head.

"No, just felt like looking good today I guess."

"You always do, baby." She said, standing on her toes and pecking him on the cheek. He smiled at her again.

"I'm gonna head on out, see if I'm picking anyone up today." He told her. She nodded.

"Have a good day! Love you!" She called as he walked out the door.

"Love you too!" He called back. He got in his truck and started it, then took his phone out and messaged the group chat (which he'd been added back to by Ben).

 **The Losers Club!3**

(7:31) Dickard- Am I picking up anyone for school?

(7:32) Billy Boy- holy shit, richie's awake before 8!

(7:32) Dickard- does anyone need a ride to school or no?

(7:33) Stan the Man- I do. Mom's car won't start for some reason.

(7:35) Dickard- Be there in ten.

Ten minutes later, Stan was opening the passenger door of Richie's truck and throwing his book bag on the floor.

"Hey, Rich." He said, shutting the door.

"Hey, Staniel- uh, Stan." He corrected himself. That was another thing, he wasn't gonna use those dumb nicknames anymore. He didn't see the look Stan gave him and drove off.

"Why are you up and ready to go to school so early?" Richie shrugged. "You're always the last one up. And your hair, what did you do to it? It's not wild as all hell today. And you smell good, did you shower?"

"Decided to start going in earlier." He shrugged again. "There's a thing called hair gel, Stan, you should look into it. And I showered last night, but I wear cologne."

"Smart ass." Stan muttered and Richie bit his lip. "Are you trying to impress a certain someone?" He asked, nudging his arm.

"Who would I be trying to impress?" Richie scoffed.

"A certain five foot four hypochondriac." Richie tensed up at his words. He swallowed and said,

"Why would I try and impress _him_?"

"You say that like it'd be a bad thing." Stan said.

"I'm not gay."

"I didn't say you were." Richie clenched the steering wheel so hard his knuckles turned white.

"I don't like Eddie. He hates _me_."

"Why would you say that? No he doesn't." Richie scoffed.

"Sure seems like it." He shrugged. "Can we just drop it? I got up early, you know, I'm still tired." Stan sighed.

"Fine."

Stan was worried about him. He usually worried about Richie in general, because he was a bit of an idiot who didn't think before he did or said something, but this wasn't the case. He was acting _weird_ , a lot weirder than he usually does, which is saying a lot. He'd never been around Richie while he's this quiet. He didn't say another word about the subject, but he did ask him if he'd studied over the weekend, to which Richie replied,

"I read like, thirty pages of notes twice. I was ready to burn it or something." Or something. What the hell?

The two met the rest of the Losers in their usual spot in front of the school, by one of the bigger trees. Eddie looked happier today, and when he saw the two walking towards them, he waved.

"Morning Chee! Stan!" Richie smiled a little and waved back, opting to wait until they were closer to reply instead of yelling like he normally would.

"Good morning Eddie. Guys." He nodded to the others with a smile. Bev raised an eyebrow at Stan but didn't say anything. Stan had texted them in a separate chat and told them not to say anything and that Richie was acting weird. "I've gotta pee, so I'm gonna head in." Richie told them. "And I have to grab something out of the office." He gave them a small salute and made his way into the school. Immediately, Stan turned to Eddie.

"Can you explain to me why Richie thinks you hate him?"

"What?" Eddie deadpanned, furrowing his eyebrows. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"He told me that you hated him."

"But I don't?" It came out like a question. "Why…?"

"I don't know, did you say something to him yesterday while you were in a bad mood?" Stan asked, crossing his arms. Eddie looped his fingers in the straps of his book bag and made a face.

"I mean, I don't think so? He was pinching my cheeks and I pushed him off the couch on accident and I told him to leave me alone."

"He never got back up on the couch." Bill pointed out. "He stayed on the floor until he got up and left."

"Do you think I hurt his feelings? Any other time, it wouldn't have. He usually laughs it off and keeps annoying me."

"I don't know, but I don't like it." Stan shook his head.

"This is weird. He got up early," Bev said, holding up a finger, adding a second as she said, "He dressed in non-wacky looking clothes," She added another finger, "his hair looks _good_ like that, and I haven't heard him use one singular nickname. Or _cuss_ for that matter."

"I definitely don't like this." Mike said, shaking his head.

Meanwhile, Richie did go use the bathroom, but he didn't have to go to the office. He'd decided he wanted to go to the choir room and play piano for a few minutes. It's what he did the first ten minutes of lunch, it helped chill him out a little when teachers were being dicks or the Bowers gang were bothering him. He was waiting on the new one to arrive back at home, and it'd probably come in a couple weeks. The door was unlocked, which sort of shocked him because he didn't see the choir director, and sat down at the piano, immediately letting his fingers slide over the keys. He started playing _Chasing Cars_ , and since he was alone, he sang a bit.

 _We'll do it all  
Everything  
On our own  
We don't need  
Anything  
Or anyone  
If I lay here  
If I just lay here  
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?  
I don't quite know  
How to say  
How I feel  
Those three words  
Are said too much  
They're not enough_

"Richie?" A voice asked, shocked. Richie nearly fell off the bench, he spun so fast. It was the choir director. He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

"Uh, hey, Mrs. Gandy." She blinked at him and started clapping.

"That was _amazing_! Richie! I didn't know you could sing!"

"Uh, not a lot of people do. Only my parents." He muttered, his cheeks a bright red. "Um, thank you." He gave her a smile.

"Oh my God, Richie, would you be up for performing a song at the fundraiser concert we're doing in a few months?" She asked. He'd heard about that, and he thought about signing up, but never really did anything about it.

"I don't know… aren't auditions or whatever over?" She shook her head.

"They were, but we had to postpone the concert so we're doing more. You don't have to, but I would _love_ it if you auditioned." He bit his lip and shrugged.

"I'll think about it?" He said, phrasing it like a question. She nodded, a grin forming on her lips.

"You've made my day, God, I got tears in my eyes from that." He chuckled a little and stood, grabbing his bag.

"I'll let you know… soon. Uh, I'd better get to class." She nodded and gave his shoulder a light squeeze as he passed her. He was one of the first to class, and sat in his usual seat at the back, next to Bill and in front of Eddie. He gave them both a small smile when they looked at him and he pulled his home work out and a sheet of paper and started the bell work.

"Holy sh- Oops. Richie Tozier, it's nice to see you here before eight thirty." Mr. Walker said, dramatically putting a hand over his heart. Richie just gave a slight nod in acknowledgement. Bill and Eddie expected a snarky remark but it never came. They looked at each other when Richie wasn't looking, and Bill gave a small shrug.

He made sure to be on time to all of his classes, and he actually paid attention and answered a couple questions in each. Willingly. Usually, the only time he'd answer them was when he was called on. He could see how _glad_ the teachers were that he wasn't acting like an idiot, so he figured he was doing a good job of being _normal_.

He decided not to go to the choir room before lunch today, instead being the first to arrive at the table. He got his lunch and sat down, fidgeting with the end of his sleeve. He put his phone on the table and pulled his hoodie off, putting it on the table for now, and stuck his phone in his pocket and started tapping his fingers.

 _I wonder if they'll think I'm acting weird, because I've been quiet. Been normal. They probably won't notice, they never paid any attention to my annoying ass anyways, they won't notice now. Eddie might, because he's the one who called me an annoying ass so he'll probably ask why I'm not being -_

"Richie!" Someone slammed their hand on the table in front of him and he jumped, nearly giving himself whiplash as he turned his head. It was Stan.

"What the hell?" He asked, rubbing the back of his neck. He looked around and saw the rest of the Losers staring at him.

"We've been sitting here for five minutes waiting on you to say something." Ben said. "But you were just staring at your plate like it murdered your whole family."

"Maybe it did." He muttered. Eddie made a face, and he could've swore he saw his lips quirk into an almost smile. "Uh, sorry, got distracted. Um, hey. Happy lunch time." He didn't notice them look at each other.

"Richie." Bill said. Richie looked at him.

"Hm?"

"Are you okay?" He asked. Richie blinked.

 _Did he just ask if I was okay? He's never asked if I was okay, is this the real Bill because he didn't even stutter and-_

"Richie! Dude, you've gotta quit doing this man." It was Mike this time, but he'd tapped Richie on the shoulder.

"Sorry. I'm okay, I just didn't get a lot of sleep last night." It wasn't a complete lie.

"Okay, and?" Eddie asked. Richie tensed just the tiniest bit. "Not sleeping much hasn't ever made you straight up lose focus like that, not while we were having a conversation."

 _How do you know, you always ignore me._

"Is it your uncle again?" Bev asked.

"Huh? No, he's in jail remember?"

"Yeah, but isn't he getting out in a couple weeks?" She asked.

"What happened with his uncle?" Ben asked.

"I don't wanna talk about that sorry piece of shit. I'm fine, guys, really. It's not about him at all." He grabbed his hoodie and pulled it over his head. "I need a smoke, I'll see you next period." He picked up his lunch tray and left without another word.

"He hardly touched his food." Eddie said. "What's going on with him?" He sighed, resting his forehead in the palm of his hand.

Richie leaned against the wall at the back of the cafeteria, earbuds in his ears, listening to a random playlist on Spotify. There were many songs he'd never heard before, and he felt like they summed him up completely, in a way. Most of them were so sad he thought he'd clicked on sad playlist, but he hadn't. He didn't know how long he stayed out there, smoking cigarette after cigarette, not even paying attention to the time.

Human by Christina Perri came on, and he scoffed, putting the rest of the cigarette out and back in the pack. He hated the song, he was never sure why, but any time he'd heard it, up until now, he would change it. But he didn't this time.

And he cried.


	3. Chapter 3

Richie is Eddie's best friend, so when Stan came to him and asked why Richie thought he hated him, Eddie was confused. He'd started thinking back to the last few days, trying to think of what he might've said to Richie to hurt him (if that's the case)

He didn't realize it until after lunch, when he was sitting in his class and Richie was nowhere to be found _… annoying ass… Leave me the fuck alone._ Fuck. He'd _never_ told Richie to leave him alone, well, he had one time many years ago, and the reaction from Richie even had Eddie in tears. The other students were talking, loudly, so Eddie turned in his seat and looked at Bill.

"I fucked up."

"What'd you do?"

"I told Richie to leave me alone." He nearly whispered. Bill's eyes widened a bit.

"Eddie, what the hell?" He exclaimed. "Y-you know how he feels w-when you say that! When _anyone_ does! When?"

"I know! I said it Friday, that's why he left. God, I didn't even realize what I was saying, I was just _so_ mad." Bill sighed.

"First, you n-need to t-talk to Richie. Go over t-to his h-house and-"

"I'm grounded. I have to go straight home."

"What the h-hell d-did you even do? Is that why you w-were so mad Friday?" Eddie nodded.

"I came out to my mom." He said. Bill's eyes grew as wide as saucers this time. "And you can see that she didn't take it well. The thing is, she was trying to blame _Richie_ for me being gay, but he's _straight_. I was defending him and then I go and fucking talk down to him. God, I'm such an idiot."

"I'm glad you defended him." Bill said, finally. "But you are a goddamn idiot. We always talk about how Richie doesn't think before he speaks but you do it too, when you're mad. You don't think, you just do, like when you pushed him off the couch, that wasn't your intention, was it?" Eddie shook his head. "When you're mad, you'll say and do shit just to hurt the other person, it doesn't matter who it is. You need to apologize today, I don't care if you have to sneak out-" The bell rang, "Or if you just call or text him. You better do it, Eddie." Eddie swallowed and nodded.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled. Bill patted his shoulder and left the room.

Richie wasn't in the next class either, so he knew he left instead of just skipping the one period.

Eddie waited anxiously for the last bell to ring, tapping his pencil on the desk so much Stan nearly smacked him. He _definitely_ wasn't gonna tell Stan about what he did, because he'd probably get slapped. Eddie was out of his seat and half way out of the room the second the bell rang. He didn't even wait for his friends, he got on his bike and made his way towards Richie's house. Fuck what his mom says. He was going to check on his best friend.

* * *

Richie couldn't remember the last time he'd cried so hard, he sat in his truck in the parking lot for a while, silent tears running down his face. He'd continued listening to the playlist, and it was as though each song got _sadder_ , and he ugly cried. God awful, hiccuping sobs racking his body as he punched the seat next to him. He'd barely calmed himself down by the time he made it home, but he was thankful that neither parent was there. He did _not_ need for them to see him like this. He dropped his bag on the floor and kicked his shoes off, leaning back on the door and pressing the heel of his hands to his eyes. He let out a huff of breath, stood there for a second or two, and then plugged his phone into their stereo and pressed play on the sad playlist, turning the volume all the way up. He laid on the couch for two hours, just listening as the songs played and replayed a couple times.

He didn't hear the banging on the door, he didn't notice Eddie walking in, holding the spare key, nor did he hear Eddie yelling at him. When he finally looked somewhere other than the wall, he let out a yelp and nearly fell off the couch. He slapped his hand around for his phone until he grabbed it and turned the music off.

"Jesus Christ, Eds-Eddie! You almost gave me a heart attack!"

"How do you think I felt, Rich? You could have been in here dead or something and no one would know it. That shit was too loud." He grumbled, plopping down next to Richie.

"Sorry." He mumbled back. Eddie raised an eyebrow.

"Sorry? Did you just apologize to me?" He asked. Richie nodded. "Wha-Who are you and what have you done with Richie?" Richie smirked a little at that but shrugged. "You _never_ apologize. What's wrong?" Richie snorted.

"Why'd you assume something's wrong? I mean, apologizing for doing something wrong is what you're supposed to do, Eddie. Common sense, my friend." He tapped his own head.

"Yeah, I'm aware. But why are you apologizing?"

"Because I know I shouldn't have my music that loud, especially when I'm alone." He shrugged innocently. Eddie crossed his arms over his chest and narrowed his eyes slightly when he got a good look at him.

"Richie." Richie looked at him.

"What?"

"Have you been crying?" Richie made a face and chuckled.

"No. I don't cry. Why?"

"You're eyes are red and puffy, so's your cheeks. Or have you been smoking? I don't smell anything on you-"

"Your eyes don't get puffy when you smoke, Eddie, just red. But to answer your question, no, I haven't been."

"So you have been crying? What's wrong? Is it because of what I said Friday because I didn't mean it," Richie went to say something but Eddie didn't give him a chance to, "I know you don't like being told that and I did it anyways and I'm a horrible best friend. I was just in a bad mood because I came out to my mom and she tried to lock me in my room but I climbed out of my window like you do and-"

"Eddie, breathe! Breathe, okay?" Richie put a hand on Eddie's shoulder and took the spare inhaler out, putting it up to his lips for him. He'd hardly taken a breath during his speech. He took a puff and,

"Thanks, Chee." He choked, taking another puff. "Sorry, I got carried away." Richie chuckled.

"I see that. And I know you didn't mean it, Eddie… I shouldn't have been bothering you like that to start with, so I'm sorry about that too."

"What? No, stop apologizing. You were just being you and I was being a dick to you, to everyone, but you more, so _I'm_ sorry. And… why do you keep saying my name?"

"Would you rather me call you something else…?"

"You just… you keep calling me Eddie. You called me Eds to start with but then corrected yourself."

"Oh."

"And you haven't been calling anyone else their nicknames." Richie bit his lip and shrugged.

"You guys don't like them so… I'm just not gonna call you that anymore."

"But-" He couldn't finish the sentence, as someone _else_ began banging on the door as if their life depended on it. "COME IN!" Eddie yelled, and soon, the rest of the Losers were in Richie's living room, arms crossed over their chests and staring at him.

"Richard Tozier, what in God's name is wrong?" Stan asked.

"Nothing?"

"Bullshit, Richie." Ben rolled his eyes.

"Have you been smoking without me?" Bev asked. "Or crying?"

"Neither." Richie said.

"Crying. But he won't tell me why." Eddie said over him. Richie started grumbling under his breath and brought his knees up to his chest. Everyone sat around the living room, on the floor or the two arm chairs, and Bev sat on the other side of Richie.

"What is this, an intervention or something?" He asked.

"We don't know what's wrong, so no." Eddie shrugged. Richie chuckled at that, but then shrugged himself.

"I don't know what's wrong, guys." He said.

 _Liar._

"I'm just having an off day, I guess." He gave them a big grin, and they relaxed a little at the sight.

 _Liar._

"Are you sure, Chee?" Eddie asked. Richie smiled at him and nodded.

"I'm sure."

 _Liar._


	4. Chapter 4

**Sara- Thank you! I'm posting every Sunday! I plan to keep going for a while :)**

* * *

I _should've known my friends would notice the change, they called my ass out almost immediately lmao. God, they're so smart and I love them so much it hurts. And E… he came out to his insane mom, that's why he said what he did. I forgave him, yeah, because he freaked out so bad while he was apologizing he had a asthma attack. But it makes me wonder, if he can come out to his mom, I can come out to my parents… idk, staying in the closet seems like a GREAT idea if you ask me. Anyways, I'm nervous as all fuck because the choir director wants me to sing at a fundraiser thing and I don't know if I should. Thoughts?_

* * *

 **Thursday, November 30, 2017**

Richie should've known that changing all of a sudden like that would have been suspicious, so he decided to slow it down some, using the more subtle nicknames, like Bevvie, Stanny, Mike, Billy, Ed, and Benny. Yeah, okay, those were just simple, not as thought out nicknames that everyone else calls each other, and he could hardly stand calling them anything _other_ than his nicknames, but he did. He continued putting gel in his hair, because he did actually like that, and he still wore his band shirts but he didn't wear anything other than a plain jacket or hoodie over them. He kept the mom jokes to a minimum, probably one a day, and tried not to cuss as frequently as usual. He made a small change everyday until their three day (technically five, counting the weekend) break for Thanksgiving, and on the days that they were all together, he still made changes. Usually talking a little less, or saying one less joke, or not saying a mom joke at all.

Besides the subtle changes he made everyday, which was _hard_ to do, he had another thought on his mind. The fundraiser thing Mrs. Gandy was talking about. One day, he'd be all for it, the next he'd be completely against it, and he didn't want to bring it up to the Losers because they'd probably think it was a bad idea, that he'd sounds like an idiot when he talks, let alone when he sings, even though none of them have ever heard him.

He made a decision the Thursday after Thanksgiving, only a couple days before the audition, which was on Saturday. When the bell for lunch rang, he went straight to the choir room, where Mrs. Gandy was sitting at her desk, no student in sight. She looked up when she heard footsteps and smiled as Richie meekly poked his head in.

"Hey, got a minute?" He asked.

"Of course. Come, sit down." She gestured to the chair in front of her desk and he did as he was told, dropping his bag next to him. "What's up?"

"I, um, I want to audition on Saturday." She smiled so wide her teeth showed, which was a rare sight, as she'd told him that she didn't like her teeth either, but that was because they were crooked. He loved her teeth, if you asked him.

"Really?" He nodded.

"But… I don't know what to sing." He said, finally. "I've been having a internal battle whether or not to audition, along with what song I would do if I did."

"Okay, well, what are the songs you want to audition with? It can be anything."

"Um, Chasing Cars is one of them, but I don't know. Um, I was thinking either Already Gone by Kelly Clarkson, Please Don't Go by Joel Adams and Not In That Way by Sam Smith."

"Hmm, I've heard all of those except Please Don't Go. Could you maybe sing a little for me?" She asked.

"Uh…" He rubbed his hands on his jeans and nodded. "Yeah, I can." He stood and went over to the piano, and sang half of the song before stopping, his cheeks bright red, and looked at Mrs. Gandy, who had her hands clasped over her chest.

"Richie, Sweetie, you shouldn't do that song for your audition." He furrowed his brows in confusion. "You should sing that at the fundraiser itself." He grinned a wide grin at her, and she grinned right back. "That was amazing, Richie. Honestly, the humming? Holy shit, excuse my language." He chuckled.

"Thanks." He blushed.

"No, thank _you_ for blessing my ears today. I think you should sing Chasing Cars for your audition. You could sing Cotton Eye Joe," He laughed at that," and still get in, but I loved the way you sang it the other week." She smiled at him, and he nodded.

"Okay, I can do that. Um, how many other people are auditioning?"

"You and another girl." She replied breezily. He raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, not many people want to do this kind of thing, so me and the judges decided that, those who wanted to, could sing two or three songs. There's only six people on the list now, and probably eight after Saturday, depending on if she can sing."

"Who is she?" He asked.

"I can't tell you. She doesn't want anyone to know. But you do know her." He raised an eyebrow. "You've talked to her before, if that narrows it down." She wiggled her eyebrows.

"Oh very funny." He replied sarcastically and she laughed. "You're right though."

* * *

 **Friday, December 1, 2017**

Richie was nervous as all hell the rest of Thursday and all day today, and couldn't sit still, constantly tapping his fingers or bouncing his knee. At the end of the day, Richie and Eddie were on the way to his truck, after saying goodbye to the rest of the Losers, when Bev ran up to them.

"Hey Rich, can you give me a ride?" She asked. "I forgot that Ben rode with Stan today and they don't have enough room with the other two."

"You could always sit in Ben's lap." Eddie said, raising an eyebrow at her. She flipped him off. Richie chuckled.

"Yeah, come on." He told her, hopping into the truck.

After they dropped Eddie off, Bev climbed into the front instead of getting out and getting back in through the door.

"I can do this because I'm small." She told Richie, when he gave her a weird look. He snorted.

"Just imagine me trying to do that."

"You wouldn't make it, that's for sure." She settled comfortably, putting her seat belt on. "So, I lied."

"Huh?"

"I didn't need a ride home."

 _Oh shit, is she gonna ask about me acting different? Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck-_

"Can I stay the night?" She asked. He blinked and looked at her.

"Oh. Uh, yeah, Alvin giving you trouble?"

"When isn't he?" She muttered. "Yeah. I can't wait until I'm eighteen." She sighed.

"I'm sorry. You know you can stay whenever you want. Mom and dad love you." She smiled at him.

"I know, it's not your fault. He'll get suspicious if I stay for more than a night or two away from the hell house. And I love them too." He bit his lip.

"I wish they could do something." He said. "They probably could, dad knows people." She raised an eyebrow, but shook her head.

"I'd have to go into the system or something if he was to get arrested or something. I'd be able to live with my aunt in Portland but I'm not leaving you guys."

"I'd rather you live farther away than with him."

"I know, but you guys mean too much to me." He gave her a small smile.

Richie's parents were home when they arrived, which surprised Richie as they usually weren't home until around six. Bev noticed too, and looked at him, but he just shrugged and got out. He opened the door.

"Ma! Dad! We're home!" He called as the two yelled,

"Surprise!" He jumped a little at the fact, and his eyes widened when he saw the grand piano between them.

"Holy shit." He whispered. The two were grinning from ear to ear.

"We told you a couple weeks because we wanted it to be a surprise." Went explained.

"Come on, come try it out. We want you to be the first to play." Maggie said, smiling at him. Then she noticed Bev, who looked confused, but was smiling. "Hey, Bev! Are you staying the night?"

"If it's okay with you two." She said, biting her lip.

"Of course, kiddo." Went said. "Richie, get your ass over here and play something for us." Bev pushed Richie towards them and he stumbled a little, sending her a glare, which she snickered at. He ran his hand over the top of the piano as he rounded it, the top smooth and cool against his fingers. He sat on the bench, fingers hovering over the keys.

"He's never been speechless like this before." Maggie whispered to Bev.

"I didn't know he played." She whispered back, her jaw dropping slightly as he began playing. She recognized the song, but couldn't remember the name of it. He played a small bit of it, and stopped, looking at the three.

"Thank you." He said, looking between his parents. "I… I didn't expect it to be this one."

"Like we said, surprise!" Went did jazz hands and Richie laughed.

A few hours later, after the four had had dinner, Richie and Bev were sprawled out on Richie's bed, watching a movie on his computer when Bev said,

"Hey Rich?"

"Hm?" He paused the movie and turned his head slightly so he could look down at her, where she rested her head on his shoulder, looking up at him.

"I, uh…" He swallowed, waiting for her to speak.

 _Did I do something wrong? I thought everything was going good. I probably called her a nickname without realizing it-_

"I just wanted to say thank you, for being you." She said, finally. "For caring and letting me stay here. And… I feel like I don't say it enough, but… I love you, Richie. You're one of the most important people in my life."

"You're gonna make me cry, Bevvie." He said, voice shaking just barely. He swallowed again as she let out a small giggle. "But I love you too. You're the sister I never had, never thought I'd have. You're my best friend. I say that about all of you but... I'm pretty sure it's you." She grinned at him.

"You're my best friend too, Rich."


	5. Chapter 5

"Hey Rich?" Bev asked for the second time that night.

"Yeah?"

"I have to be at the school at three tomorrow… Do you think you could take me? I won't be there too long so you could stay if you wanted." He made a face, rolling over onto his stomach and looking at her.

"For what?"

"You know the fundraiser they're having in January?" She asked. His breath caught in his throat and she raised her eyebrows.

 _Bev is the girl. Of all people._

"You okay?" She asked.

"Um, yeah I can take you. I have to be there then too anyways." He told her, swallowing harshly. She made a face.

"Why are you… Oh! Are you auditioning too?" She asked, grinning at him toothily. He bit his lip and nodded. "Just to play piano or guitar?" She asked.

"Piano," He hesitated, "and sing." Her eyes widened.

"No way!" She slapped his shoulder lightly. "That's awesome! I didn't know you could sing!"  
"Only ma, dad and Mrs. Gandy know… and now you, I guess?"

"What song are you singing? I'm singing What's Up." She said excitedly.

"That's for me to know and you to find out, my dear." He grinned back at her as she pouted.

"No fair! I told you what I was singing!"

"Okay but honestly what other song _would_ you sing?"

"Fair point."

* * *

 **Saturday, December 2, 2017**

"I see you two figured out who the other was." Mrs. Gandy said, wiggling her eyebrows as the two walked to the front of the school, Richie's arm draped over Bev's shoulders.

"Yes ma'am we did." Richie said, grinning at her. "She stayed over last night and asked me to give her a ride here, so I kind of had to tell her." She chuckled, then raised an eyebrow.

"You two are together?" She asked, confused. Richie choked on a laugh and Bev giggled, shaking her head.

"We're best friends. I'm dating Ben Hanscom."

"Ben Handsome you mean?" Richie joked. She snorted but nodded.

"Did you tell each other what songs you're singing?" She asked, leading them to the choir room. Richie snorted.

"I didn't tell her what _I_ was singing but she told me what she was. I figured she'd sing it though, so." He shrugged and Bev pinched his side. Mrs. Gandy snorted.

"Who's up first?" She asked as they walked into the choir room, where there were three seniors and two other teachers that neither of them had ever had-or seen for that matter, were sitting in chairs.

"Ladies first." Richie said immediately, giving Bev a giant grin. She snorted.

"Got stage fright, Tozier?" She teased.

 _You could say that._

"Psh, no. Always save the best for last." He winked at her and she smacked him. He snickered and sat down in one of the chairs. He was handed a guitar and he raised an eyebrow at Bev, who'd handed it to him.

"What? I want you to play it for me." She said, as if it was obvious.

"Oh." He nodded. He started playing when she gave him the signal.

"Wow, Marsh, I didn't know you could sing." One of the seniors said as they clapped. She just shrugged.

"You ready to sing, Richie?" Mrs. Gandy asked. He bit his lip and nodded, standing up. Bev high fived him on his way to the piano. He waited a couple seconds, for everyone to stop talking and began playing.

" _We'll do it all, everything, on our own…_ "

Bev's eyes nearly bugged out of her head the entire time. She knew he could play piano after yesterday, but singing? She never would've thought. She's heard him sing- well, scream along to a song at the top of his lungs- before, but never this well. She teared up, too. The way he was singing it, like it was everything he was feeling, just got to her. A lone tear fell at the end, and he looked up nervously, to see them all- even Mrs. Gandy- staring at him in shock.

"Um… Is the staring at me a good thing or was I that bad?" He asked.

"Dude. You've got red crying." One of the other seniors said, and he looked at Bev, who was red eyed. He blinked, confused. Then he glared at him for calling her red. "What? It was good? Didn't think you had it in you, kid."

"I'm a year younger than you." Richie retorted. Bev snorted.

"I think we can all agree that we have two more performers for the fundraiser, yeah?" They all agreed and Mrs. Gandy sent the two on their way. Bev had yet to say anything to him, and that made him nervous. They were getting in the truck when someone yelled,

"You're a faggot, Tozier!" He just rolled his eyes and slammed the door shut.

"It takes one to know one." He muttered. Bev choked on her spit and he looked over at her, realizing he'd said it loud enough for her to hear.

"Richie." She questioned, though it was more of a statement. "Are you… Are you gay?" She asked. He shook his head.

"No."

"Oh." She almost looked a little sad at the fact and he made a face when she looked away.

"I'm bi though." Her gaze snapped back towards him and he stared out the windshield, gripping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles turned white.

 _Oh fuck, I just came out to someone. Holy actual shit she's probably gonna hate me because I didn't tell her and because I've been lying to them all about me being straight and- Oh my God._

"Richie? Are you okay?" She asked softly, putting a hand on his arm.

"You're the only one that knows." He choked out. "The only one I've told."

"Oh, Rich. Come here." She pulled him by the arms gently and wrapped hers around him, hugging him tightly.

"Please don't hate me." He whispered.

"Why would I hate you? I could never."

"Because I lied to you." He sniffed

"How did you lie to me? I wouldn't count that as a lie, Rich."

"I've been telling you I'm straight all this time and I… I'm _not_. I'm sorry."

"Don't be, babes." She said, running a hand through his hair. "I'm not mad at you. You shouldn't feel like you're lying to me, or the others. They'd understand, and they'll still love you. It wouldn't matter if you were in love with an alpaca, they'd still love you."

"They'd expect _that_ from me." He said and she laughed.

"They would. They'd probably just laugh and say _okay, Richie._ " He chuckled quietly, and wiped at his eyes.

"Yeah, they would."

* * *

Richie thought the rest of the day was gonna go by smoothly, and it had, for the most part. He and Bev hung out at his house for hours, went and got dinner, and he dropped her off at home. He made cookies with his mom and joked around with her, feeling the best he had in months, when there was a knock on the door.

"Can you get it?" She asked him. "I've gotta check on the cookies." He nodded and jogged to the door. He opened, and nearly screamed. Bev was standing there, soaking wet from the rain- that he's just now noticed- half naked, using her arms to cover up her bare chest.

"What the fuck?" He exclaimed. "Oh my God, come in, come _in_." He gently pulled her inside and shut the door using his foot, wrapping her in his arms. "Mom!" He yelled at the top of his lungs.

"Jesus, Richie, what is- holy fu- Wentworth! Get your ass down here right now! And bring some towels!" She yelled. She rushed into the living room and grabbed a blanket, wrapping it around Bev's shivering form, and covering her up. She rubbed up and down her shoulders.

"What's going on?" Went asked, arms full of towels. His eyes widened at the sight of his wife and son huddled around Bev. The side of her face was black and blue and she had blood dripping from her lips. His eyes narrowed and his blood boiled, knowing exactly who did it. He rushed and gave Maggie the towels and went in the bathroom to get the first aid kit. From the, "Who the fuck did this to you," he heard, he assumed the two finally saw her face. He returned to the living room, every light on, to Richie sitting on the couch next to her, and she hadn't said a word. He handed Maggie the kit and sat next to her- across from Richie- on the coffee table. She wouldn't let go of Richie, so it was hard for Maggie to get a good look at her injuries, but she did as best she could.

"Bev, what happened?' Went asked softly.

"Dad…" Richie shook his head.

"I need to know, Rich. If it was that sorry fuck-"

"He t-t-tried t-to… t-to- he almost- he pulled down his- he h-hit m-me and ki-kicked me." She barely managed to get out. "H-he d-destroyed all-all my clothes. B-burned them because I-I smoke. Tore m-my shirt o-off m-me after I sh-showered." She squeezed Richie's arm's tighter and let out a choked sob.

"Did he… did he do anything else?" Maggie asked softly. Bev shook her head.

"He- he tried to but I-I r-ran before he co-could."

"Good. C'mon, let's get you a warm shower- or would you rather have a bath?" Maggie asked.

"Shower. Want to hu-hurry and get b-back to R-Richie."

"Alright, Billiam." Richie joked softly and she let out a short, breathy laugh. She slowly let him go, but latched onto Maggie as she led her up the stairs. Richie watched them go until they were out of his sight and he turned to his dad with tears in his eyes.

"Dad-"

"Don't worry, son. She's never going to see him again. _Never_."


	6. Chapter 6

It felt like forever before Maggie and Bev finally came back downstairs, Bev wearing one of Richie's shirts and a pair of Maggie's sweatpants. She practically fell into Richie's arms and hugged him tightly.

"Hey, Sweets. Feel a little better now?" He asked. She nodded. He glanced back at the kitchen where his parents were talking quietly. Bev was still shivering so he pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and draped it over them, tucking it under him as much as he could to trap the heat. He ran his fingers through her hair. "Do you want me to text or call anyone?" She shook her head.

"Too late." She whispered. "And Ben isn't home."

"Do you know when he gets back?"

"Tomorrow." She said. He nodded. The two stayed silent, trying to listen to what was being said in the kitchen between his parents, and whoever was on the phone, but they couldn't make anything out. A few minutes later, they came back in the living room and Maggie sat on the other side of Bev, and Went on the coffee table again.

"Bev, I… I'm sorry that I let it go this far." He said quietly.

"Wha-?" She made a face. "It's not your fault."

"Dad-"

"Look, it is. I knew that he was abusive."

"I did too." Maggie said, rubbing her hand up and down Bev's arm comfortingly. "We should have done something about it years ago."

"You didn't know he would do… do this." Bev whispered.

"We should've seen it coming." Went said. "Tomorrow morning, Maggie and I are going to talk with some people, like we did with… with your uncle." Richie bit his lip and nodded. "I just got off the phone with Bowers, they got him in custody, so sometime tomorrow, we can go and get your clothes, okay?" She swallowed harshly and nodded.

"You don't have to go, though, Sweetie." Maggie told her. Bev let out a breath of relief.

"Thank you."

"We'll get everything handled."

"Uh…" The three looked at Richie. "Is she gonna be able to stay here?" He asked. "Or are social services gonna take her or something."

"We're not letting them." Went told them honestly.

"She's staying here. I don't care how hard we have to fight it, right, Went?" Maggie looked at him and he nodded immediately.

"You're like a daughter to us, Bev. You're not getting away from us easily." She smiled slightly at that.

"Are you hungry or anything, Sweetie?" Maggie asked, and she shook her head. She looked at Richie who did the same.

"Appetite's gone vamoose." He told her and she chuckled.

"Okay, well, you two should go on up to bed and try and get some sleep, okay?" They nodded and Richie stood, helping her up.

"Hey, Sweets, want a piggyback ride up the stairs?" She nodded and he helped her stand on the couch and she hopped on his back. "Goodnight, love you guys."

"Love you." Bev echoed.

"We love you too." Went ruffled their hair and Maggie kissed their cheeks and Richie made his way up the stairs.

"Getting strong." Bev whispered. Richie chuckled and shrugged a little.

"You weigh little to nothing, like Eds." She let out a breathy laugh. "Um, do you want to go to the guest room?" He asked, stopping in the hallway. He felt her shake her head.

"I wanna stay with you."

"Okie dokie." He took her in his room and set her on the bed and shut his door somewhat. She was already under the blankets against the wall when he turned around. He chuckled and, already in his pajamas, joined her on his bed, wrapping his arms around her. "The guys are gonna be mad at me, aren't they?"

"Why?"

"For not telling them sooner."

"They better not be." She mumbled. "I'll beat their asses. I'm the one that didn't want you to say anything."

"I'll record it."

"Please do." It was quiet for a few minutes, and she whispered. "Rich?"

"Hm?"

"Do you think… that they would adopt me if I asked?" Richie's eyes popped open and he looked down at her, squinting- which didn't help the blurriness.

"You want to be apart of our insane family? Like… legally?"

"I mean… I kinda am already, right? Just not legally."

"Of course. You do know that you'd be my sister, right?"

"Aren't I already?"

"Smartass. I think they would, though. That'd be… probably the best thing to ever happen to me, honestly." He told her.

"Really?" He nodded. "Same." He chuckled. She yawned and scooted closer to him, and he squeezed her tighter.

"Go to sleep, Sweets. I got you." She nodded into his shoulder.

"G'night. Love you."

"Night, love you too."

* * *

 **Sunday, December 3, 2017**

The next morning, Went and Maggie woke Richie up to tell him they were leaving, and when they left, he fell back to sleep for a couple hours. When he woke up, Bev was coming back into the room from the bathroom.

"Morning." She said, rubbing her eyes.

"Morning." He stood up and stretched, making a weird noise, and shoved his glasses on his face. He kissed her cheek. "I'ma go pee and we'll go get breakfast, m'kay?" She nodded. He went and did his business and they made eggs and toast- Richie made the eggs and Bev made the toast.

"Have you checked the chat?" She asked him after they ate. "My phone is kind of… probably broken to pieces somewhere."

"Uh, no…" Before he had a chance to even pull out his phone,

"Why didn't you fucking call me, Richie?" Ben exclaimed, storming into the house without even knocking, the rest of the Losers behind him. "I deserved to know!"

"What the fuck!" Richie exclaimed, flinching at the sudden, loud voice. "Look, Bev didn't want me to call you, so I didn't." Richie said, not looking at him, or anyone else.

"I don't care, you should have called or texted me. Let me know _something_ instead of finding out over a fucking _Facebook_ post from _Bowers_."

"Ben, I'm not in the mood to argue with you." Richie stated calmly. "Stop swearing at me, or you can get the _fuck_ out of my house. You should be thankful that I opened that door last night."

"Don't give me that shit, Richie. Do you know how scared I was when I read that article? How scared all of us had been?"

"Come on, let's all calm down." Mike said, standing between them and holding his hands up.

"You can't say a goddamn thing, Ben." Richie hissed, completely ignoring Mike. "I saw her, standing in the freezing rain, half naked. There was blood dripping from her lips, and she was shivering so bad. She told me and my parents that… that her sorry piece of shit father tried to _rape_ her. I was terrified. Terrified for her, my best friend, my _sister_. And you're going to stand in _my_ house and yell at me like it's my fault. I know everything is usually my fault, but this fucking isn't."

"She was with you all day yesterday. How am I supposed to know it isn't?"

"Ben!" Bev exclaimed, surprising everyone.

"What the fuck?" Eddie yelled, standing next to Richie.

"You've gone too far, Ben." Bill said, shaking his head. Richie stared at Ben like he killed a puppy in front of him. Ben's eyes widened when he realized what he said.

"Get the _fuck_ out of my house, Hanscom." He growled. " _Now._ "

"Richie, I-" Ben started.

"Go." Richie pointed at the door. "I swear to God, I will _make_ you get out. Don't fucking test me." Ben looked at Bev and she just looked away from him. He hung his head and walked out the door, shutting it behind him quietly.

"Richie…" Stan started but Richie held a hand up.

"I… will be in my room for a while. You are _all_ welcome to stay as long as you want but… please don't bother me." He _ran_ up the stairs.

"That's not safe." Eddie whispered to himself, watching him go. Stan gave him a look. "Sorry, habit." The boys all looked at Bev, who looked just as shocked as him.

"That… really just came out of my boyfriend's mouth?" She asked. They nodded. "I… Ben, of all people. How _could_ he?" She covered her face with her hands and let out a quiet sob. Mike pulled her into his arms and she cried into his shoulder. "Why would he blame Richie for something like _that_?"

"He didn't know what he was saying, Bev." Stan said, attempting to comfort her.

"It's bullshit, Stan! He shouldn't have said it, let alone thought it."

"I know, I agree. He went way too far, but I'm sure you would be mad if something happened to him and you had to find out from someone outside of your group."

"That's not the point. Yeah, I'd be mad, but I wouldn't be blaming the person who brought me into their home for something that was completely out of their hands." She wiped her eyes and pulled away from Mike, crossing her arms. "Richie did what I asked him to. Not to say anything. He respected my wishes like he always does. Can I borrow one of you guys phones? I don't have mine and I need to talk to Ben." She said matter of factly, like she hadn't been crying a minute ago. Mike handed her his phone and she thanked him, walking into the kitchen. The rest of them sat down and didn't say anything for a bit.

"This b-been some d-d-day, huh?" Bill said. Stan patted his shoulder and gave him a nod. They could faintly hear Bev in the kitchen, and some music from up stairs.

"Hold up." Eddie made a face. "Where the fuck did that piano come from?"


	7. Chapter 7

A few hours after the incident with Ben, said boy came back with gifts to apologize. He was a crying mess when he was talking to Bev on the phone, and promised he'd do anything to make it up to Richie.

He came with ice cream, candy, and pizza, enough for everyone- even Richie's parents when they got home, and asked if he could talk to Richie. Stan didn't spare a glance at Ben as he set everything up in the living room while Eddie and Bev went upstairs to get Richie. None of them had seen or heard a word from him since, music being the only thing heard coming from his room. Eddie knocked on the door loudly and the music stopped, and a faint, "Come in," was heard. Eddie opened the door and the two walked in, only to see Richie just lying on his bed, looking at his phone. Eddie sat by his feet and Bev sat by his head.

"Ben's back." She told him softly. He snorted.

"Cut right to the chase, huh? He back to blame me some more?"

"He wants to apologize to you face to face." Eddie said. Richie looked at him. "Said that you wouldn't answer his texts."

"Damn right I didn't answer them." He sat up. "Send ole Benny boy in." The two stood up and as Eddie left the room, Bev said,

"Don't go too hard on him, Rich. I know what he said was fucked up but just hear him out. I called him and he cried like a baby- looks like he's been crying for a while."

"I cry all the time too, he ain't special." Richie muttered, but Bev heard him.

"What?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Not important." He waved her off and he looked at the door, where Ben was nervously waiting.

"I'll still be downstairs, Tozier. If I hear screaming I know what to do." She gave him a look and he rolled his eyes.

"He could snap me like a twig and you know it." She chuckled and left the room. "Come in, Ben." Richie said, crossing his arms. Ben walked in hesitantly, and damn, Bev wasn't wrong. His face was swollen and red and blotchy. "You can sit in the chair." He gestured to his rolling chair at his desk. Ben did so.

"Richie, I-"

"No, I wanna say something first." Ben nodded immediately. "First off, fuck you."

"I deserve that."

"Not only that, but a punch to the face. Maybe knock some sense into you." Ben nodded. "That's all. Carry on."

"I'm so sorry." He started. "I can't believe I said that to you, and I want you to know that I didn't mean it. I know you wouldn't like, do that? Or like, help make it happen, whatever. You know what I mean. When I saw that post, I got so angry. At first it was at that sorry piece of crap, and then I asked everyone else if Bev was with them and they said no, I knew she had to be here. I wasn't thinking straight and I shouldn't have come into your home, swearing at you and blaming you for something I know you wouldn't do. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I can hope we can remain friends. You're practically a brother to me, Richie, and I don't think I could handle you not speaking to me."

"No, you don't. At least not yet." Richie said, finally, after a few minutes of silence. "I'm always gonna be your friend, Ben, but it's gonna take a lot more than just a few I'm sorry's. You don't have to do anything, just give me time. I've always thought you were better than that, you know? Did you know about Bev's audition yesterday?" Ben nodded. "I took her and joined her, listened to her sing. On the way in Mrs. Gandy asked if we were together, and Bev said she was dating Ben Hanscom. You know what I said?" Ben shook his head. "I said Ben Handsome, get it? Cause you're handsome. I've never said or _had_ to say a bad thing about you, Ben, and I hope I never have to. Not again, at least, although I technically haven't said anything bad about you."

"Thank you." Ben said softly. "Thank you for not punching me, or anything, and for what you said yesterday. Thank you for taking care of her, I know she's my first girlfriend, but I intend for her to be my last. I love her so much, and I was so worried, so mad. Mad at myself because I couldn't protect her when she needed me. I understand that you need time, and I'll wait as long as you need me to." Richie gave him a small smile.

"I'm happy that you love her so much. I love Bev to death- hell, at this point she could legally become my sister." Ben's eyes widened at that. "Don't repeat that, we don't know for sure. We still gotta talk to my parents. Anyways, I just want you to know that if you ever hurt her I will literally beat your ass. I know you can snap me like a twig but I'm deadass about this. I'd kill the fucking shit that calls himself a father if I had the chance." Ben flinched a little at the tone of voice he took. "I'm not like trying to scare you too much, just know that I'd fight for all of you. Her especially, and not just because she's a girl."

"No, no, I get it. I get what you're saying one hundred percent, I'd fight anyone for you guys too. But uh, the fact that I believe you could kill someone if you had to scares me a bit."

"Wanna just go shake on it and go watch movies with everyone or something?" Richie asked. Ben chuckled and nodded, holding out a hand. He half expected Richie to pull him into a hug and was a little disappointed when he didn't, but the two stood up and headed downstairs.

"I see Ben is alive." Bev said, taking a bite out of pizza.

"Where'd you get pizza- oh shit yes!" Richie practically jumped the last four steps- nearly busting his ass in the process- and snatched a piece out of the box.

"Jesus, Richie, are you trying to kill yourself?" Eddie shrieked.

"I'm fine, Eddie." Richie waved him off.

"Ben brought it for you." Mike said. Richie looked at Ben, who nodded bashfully.

"Cool, thanks Benny." Richie said, stuffing his mouth. For the next hour and a half, everyone ate pizza and junk food, and then the Toziers got home, bags filled with stuff.

"So, we got all the valuables we could find in your room, jewelry, your stuff for school, your essentials, and went and bought you some new underwear and some shirts and pants." Maggie said, not paying anyone any attention as she rattled off what they got for Bev, who was surprised.

"You already went to the apartment?" She asked softly, standing up.

"We did. I told you we would." Wentworth said. "Oh, pizza!" He dropped the bags.

"Jesus Christ, Went, we were having a moment!" Maggie smacked his shoulder and he shrugged innocently, stuffing his face, much like his son did. Everyone chuckled. "Oh, hi guys! I didn't see your cars. I just wanted to hurry and get her stuff to her that I wasn't paying attention."

"It's okay, Mrs. Tozier." Stan said with a smile.

"Call me Maggie, Stan, how many more times do I have to tell you?"

"I'm always going to call you Mrs. Tozier." Stan replied. She chuckled and patted his shoulder.

"If you ever get tired of saying our last name, just call me Maggie. Bev, do you want to look through your stuff now or wait until later?"

"Um, later I think." She said, biting her lip.

"That's fine! We can get you set up in the guest room until we get you actual furniture and stuff."

"So she's going to be staying here?" Mike asked.

"P-permanently?" Bill asked.

"Mhm. We've still got lots of paperwork and court and everything over the next few months, but it's official as of an hour ago that she is living with us, at last until further notice. Further notice is not on my list of things to worry about, though, because further notice is until she _wants_ to move out." Went said matter of factly.

"I freaking love you guys." Bev said, choking up as she threw herself at Went. He chuckled in surprise and hugged her back. Maggie joined the hug and rubbed her back.

"We love you too, Sweets." Richie said, wrapping his arms around the three of them.

"That's a sight I like to see." Eddie joked. Richie looked back at him and gave him a grin.

* * *

Later on that night, once everyone finally left for the night, the four sat down at the dinner table for dinner and talked about what was going to happen over the next few weeks.

"I know I'm saying nothing is official, but we're determined to keep you here, Bev." Went said. "And considering I'm a damn good lawyer, I can convince the fuck out of anyone."

"Language, Went." Maggie said, looking at him pointedly. "What he's saying is, there's a very high chance that you're staying with us, and we want to get you settled in." Bev nodded, looking at Richie who grinned.

"Are you…" She paused for a second, "Are you going to… adopt me?" She asked, cringing a little at the way her voice cracked. The two looked at each other, surprised.

"Do you want us to?" Maggie asked.

"Yeah, I do." She nodded. "Honestly, even before all this happened I'd thought about you guys being my parents, and I want it to be real, not just in my daydreams, you know? I never really knew my mom, and my… he was nothing but shit to me. And her. I've never felt safe with him, but I _always_ feel safe here."

"Bev, sweetie, we would _love_ to adopt you. You're already a daughter to us." Went nodded in agreement. She smiled brightly and looked at Richie, who had a matching smile.

"Now, when you're feeling up to it, or when you… heal enough that you feel comfortable," Maggie was talking about the bruises on her face. "We're gonna go out and buy you as much stuff as you want. And I mean clothes, makeup, paint for your room, decorations, _anything_ you want, because you deserve it."

"You don't have to do that." Bev told them. "I have some money, I can buy my clothes."

"This isn't up for discussion, Bev." Went told her jokingly. "We're buying you whatever you want, whether you like it or not."

"They're gonna do it either way, Sweets." Richie told her. "They won't give up until you agree." She looked at the two and they nodded. She sighed.

"Fine." She said, smiling a little.

"As for school, Richie, you can have a day or two off- we don't want you missing too much, either of you, but that's how it's gonna be. I'm calling school tomorrow- I'm sure they all know what's going on- and I'm telling them you won't be in school until say, Wednesday?" Richie nodded. "And Bev, we'll figure it out for you, okay?" She nodded.

"I don't want to get too behind." She said.

"I've got you." Richie told her. "I'll help you with everything."

"Okay. Sometimes I forget that you're smart without even trying." He shrugged.

"It is a gift."


	8. Chapter 8

**Friday, December 8, 2017**

Richie went back to school on Wednesday, and he was in no way, shape or form being dramatic when he said it fucking sucked. Everyone was whispering and looking at him as he walked through the halls, whether it be with or without the rest of the group. Some people even came up to him asking him shit that was nowhere near close to the truth. He'd even over heard people saying such bad shit about Bev that he wanted to punch everyone- girl or boy- and by Friday, he'd had enough.

Standing up on one of the tables at lunch, Richie yelled as loud as he could,

"Hey fuckers! If any of you have _one_ singular mother fucking thing to say about Beverly Marsh, say it to _me_. You got a problem with her living with me? Take it up with me. If you think she _let_ her father do what he did, take it up with the devil because you're fucking stupid. If you believe every rumor you hear? You're the dumbest fucking bitches I've ever seen. Look up the definition of rumor, that'll tell you all you need to know. Mind your own goddamn business and stay out of ours!" He jumped off the table, grabbed his bag, and stormed out of the cafeteria.

"Where ya going, Bucky Beaver?" Henry sneered as Richie stormed past him.

"Fuck off, Bowers. That name is old as fuck and completely irrelevant." He hissed.

"Fucking nerd."

"I'd rather be a nerd than some fucking dumbass like you, Bowers." Richie knew he'd regret arguing with the ass, but at the same time, he was pissed at the word, as well as surprised that Henry hadn't gone to his ass yet.

"Go ahead, Tozier, keep talking shit. You'll regret it soon enough." Richie just flipped him off and got in his truck. He considered just sitting there until the bell rang and go back in for the rest of the day, but decided not to, and left. He drove around for a while, listening to the sad playlist. There were so many songs on it he hadn't made it through all of them. Eventually, he went home, where Bev was stretched out on the couch watching Netflix. He walked in and threw his book bag up the stairs, kicking his shoes off and joining her. He lifted her legs and sat down, placing them back in his lap. He leaned his his on his hand and groaned.

"What happened, babe?" She asked, pausing the movie she was watching.

"People talking shit just got to me." He told her. "School is just kicking my ass thanks to midterms, and I'm probably gonna be murdered by Bowers during break- if not sooner."  
"What happened?" She asked gently.

With that, he told her everything that had happened since Wednesday. He didn't tell her what people were saying about her, he didn't have to. She already knew it was stupid rumors they were saying and she didn't give two shits about them. He told her what he said to Bowers and she high fived him, and promised to stick by him so they can fight together when the time comes.

* * *

Eddie, Stan and Ben came over after school, whereas Stan immediately said,

"I heard Bowers is plotting your murder as we speak, Richard. What did you say to him?"

"I just called him a dumbass." Richie shrugged. "He told me I'd regret it and I honestly don't, because it's true."

"I'd rather my best friend be, you know, _alive_."

"Is it bad that we're actually talking about him like he'd actually commit murder?" Ben asked, playing with Bev's hair.

"I mean… You're not wrong, but that doesn't seem unlikely, does it?" Stan asked.

"He kills animals in the woods so people are next on the list." Richie shrugged. They stared at him.

"How do you know this?" Eddie asked, wide eyed.

"Uh." Richie shrugged.

"No, don't just shrug. What the hell, Richie?"

"I may have gone the wrong way home from the quarry one day and caught him killing a rabbit." Richie said, cringing as he remembered the scene. "He was _torturing_ the poor thing. The fucking dick."

"God, he needs some serious help."

"On a better note," Bev said, "Do you guys want to go shopping with me and Maggie tomorrow? I'm asking Mike and Bill later on."

"You already know I'm going." Richie said, snorting.

"I'll be glad to get away from home for the day." Eddie said. "As long as _someone_ doesn't embarrass us." He looked at Richie pointedly.

"When was the last time I embarrassed you, Eddie?" Richie asked, raising an eyebrow. Eddie started to say something, but faltered, making a face.

"It's been a while." He muttered. Richie nodded.

"Are you guys going to the fundraiser in February?" Eddie asked a few minutes later, after Mike and Bill got there.

"That's like two months away, Eddie." Mike chuckled. "Why?"

"I want to go!" He said, pouting. "A lot of people are going, apparently because people are singing like all day or some shit."

"Oh yeah, you like going to that stuff, huh Eds?" Bev asked, nudging Richie discreetly. He made a face at her and went back to whatever he was doing on his phone. She rolled her eyes. Eddie nodded. "Well, I'm actually one of the singers." She told him. Eddie gasped and everyone else- except for Ben and Richie- looked at her surprised.

"Really?" He asked. She nodded.

"Richie took me to audition Saturday."

"That's so c-cool, Bev." Bill said, grinning.

"If it was a competition you'd surely win." Stan told her.

"Thanks, Stanny." She smiled at him.

"Why didn't you audition, Richie?" Stan asked. Richie looked at him, an eyebrow raised.

"Who said I didn't?" He asked, smirking. They all looked at each other.

"So you did audition?" Mike asked.

"Maybe." Richie shrugged. Bev giggled.

"What song did you do on your guitar?" Eddie asked.

"Who said I played my guitar?" Richie winked at him and Eddie sighed.

"You mysterious bastard." He muttered with a laugh. Richie snorted.

"I may have… played piano." He said. "And sang." Everyone's heads snapped towards him.

"S-sang?" Bill asked.

"Mhm." Richie nodded. "You guys wanna watch a movie?" He changed the subject completely, and didn't leave room to argue as he jumped up to go make popcorn. Bev watched him go sadly, and stood to grab some movies to choose from.

"What do you wanna watch, Rich?" Stan called.

"Moana!" He yelled back.

"How the fuck do you work this TV so we can get Netflix up, then?" Eddie said, joining him in the kitchen.

"You gotta hit input then go to HDMI3. It should come up." Richie replied, digging in a bottom cabinet.

"Okay." He went and did that, but went back to help Richie. He'd just put the popcorn in the microwave. He jumped when he saw Eddie standing there.

"Dammit, when did you get so quiet and sneaky?" Richie asked, chuckling.

"I could ask you the same thing, Richie." He crossed his arms and leaned against the counter. Richie pressed the start button and turned to Eddie.

"Whatever do you mean?" Richie asked, putting his hands on his hips.

Eddie eyed him. He's been paying much more attention to the taller teen recently- more than usual, at least. What's not to look at?- and he noticed some things. Okay, not _some_ but _a lot_ of things. They've known each other since they were five and Richie was always the happy kid, always had something to say and the worst fashion choices. But now, he talked nowhere near as much as he used to, doesn't joke or _anything_. Eddie's noticed. They all have, really, but Stan and Bill are convinced it's some elaborate plan of sorts to get attention- Richie loved attention. Or he used to. He stayed out of the way now.

"Cut the shit, Tozier. I've noticed some changes in you." He said matter of factly.

"Mhm, and what's that?"

"You're quiet." Eddie replied. "I don't remember the last time you called me Eds or- or wore one of those hideous shirts. Is something going on that I should know about?" Richie opened his mouth but Eddie continued. " _And_ you sing? And play piano? Since when? And why didn't you tell us?"

"That's… a lot of questions." Richie said, finally. "Too many to answer at one time. We'll talk about it later, okay?" He took the popcorn out of the microwave and put it in a bowl. Richie smiled at him and walked past him. Eddie's mouth dropped open and he let out a breath.

"Huh, okay then."

They never talked about it. At least, not that night.


	9. Chapter 9

**We mayhaps have a teeny tiny bit of info on what happened with Richie that he's kept from his friends in this chapter :D**

 **I don't really have anything to say other than I'm sorry for the wait. Life has just been quite literally shit since the beginning of December and it doesn't seem to be stopping. Like I told my mom, 2019 can suck my ass.**

* * *

 **Saturday, December 9, 2017**

"Wake up, sleepy head, it's time to go shopping!" Maggie exclaimed cheerfully as she jumped on top of her sons bed, tickling his sides. He groaned to start with- but was soon laughing his ass off as he tried to grab her hands.

"I'm gonna piss myself!" He exclaimed, laughing. She snickered and finally stopped- after a few more seconds. He ran to the bathroom, nearly knocking Bev over in the process.

"Calm your tits." She called after him.

"I have no tits to calm!" He yelled back. She rolled her eyes and shook her head when Maggie walked out of his room.

"You excited for today, Sweetie?" She asked. Bev nodded.

"Very! I'm gonna try and cover up some of… this." She gestured to her face. "And I'll be ready so just let me know." Maggie chuckled and nodded. She tapped on the bathroom door.

"If you pee on the floor, clean it up, Richard!"

"Dad does that, not me!"

* * *

 _Hi, yes, hello. It me. How's everyone doing? It's been a week and two days since my last post and let's just say things have been bonkers around here. Y'all know my best friend Red? Some shit went down with her "father" AKA sperm donor and she is on the way to becoming my adopted sister. Anyways, I'm not gonna get into that right now, maybe in a later post I will._

 _The main reason I am here, is to announce how fucking cute E is. WHAT THE HELL? How can someone so tiny, a small ball of fury, be as cute as he is? Me and my friends are all out shopping for Red's new bedroom and he's here and wearing these tight blue jeans that make his ass look GREAT and this big ass pink sweater that I? Gave him for his birthday? I will literally fucking implode I swear to GOD._

 _I'll update y'all later on my story. If there isn't anything, I've died from his cuteness._

Richie added the paragraphs to a weird pixelated emoji screaming and posted it before locking his phone and putting it in his pocket.

"Who are you furiously texting over there?" Stan asked, nudging him in the side.

"Uh, no one?" He offered.

"You don't _have_ to tell me, but if it's a girl I'll give you advice on how to make a move." Stan cocked an eyebrow at him. Richie stared at him for a couple seconds and he heard Bill snicker next to them.

"Do you hear this, Billy? Your _boyfriend_ just offered advice on how to get a girl." Bill laughed loudly and Stan chuckled. "But it is, in fact, not a girl. Nor is it a person."

"What were you typing then?" Bev asked, catching up with them. She, Ben and Eddie had been a couple steps behind them, and Maggie and Mike were in front talking paint brands. Why? Richie didn't know but he wasn't gonna question it.

"Stuff." Richie replied, shrugging. She huffed and pinched his arm.

"Wanna go to Hot Topic with me?" She asked, grabbing his arm and dragging him away before he could even answer. The rest of the Losers would _never_ be caught dead in the store but the two didn't care. They looked around the store for a few minutes, and finally, Bev said,

"So, are you gonna tell me the truth or are you gonna keep lying to me?" His eyes widened slightly.

 _What? The fuck am I lying about?_

"What am I lying about?" He asked, slowly, eyebrows raised.

"About the fact that you're crushing on someone and who that someone is."

"What are you talking about?" He asked, voice at a higher octave. He was genuinely confused.

"Richie, I asked you if you were interested in anyone the other day, and you said no. But I _swear_ every time I look at you, you're staring at Eddie. You think you're being discreet but you're not."

"Fuck, is it that obvious?" He squeaked. "Fuck, fuck, fuck. Why didn't you say something before?"

"Calm down!" She exclaimed, resting a hand on his arm. "Richie, there's no reason to freak out. You've _always_ stared at Eddie, for as long as I've known you. And so what if you like Eddie?"

"So what if I like Eddie?" He replied, eyebrows raised. "Eddie is on a whole nother planet, for starters. Second, I'd never have a chance with him, and third, no one but you knows I'm bi!" He whispered the last part.

"Richie, you're the one who's on a whole nother planet, apparently. You have just as much of a chance as any other guy!" She poked him in the chest. "You're awesome, Richie. Anyone, guy or girl, would be lucky to have you. And trust me, you have a chance with Eddie. You just have to take it."

* * *

 _So apparently, I'm the most obvious fucker there is. Red said it's obvious that I like E and then gave me a lil speech about how I have a chance with him but like? No? Why would he want some Trashmouth like me? There's a reason I've changed- which, by the way, is still going smoothly. No one has really said anything about me being quieter so I think that's; Me: 1 Friends: 0_

Things were not, actually, going smoothly like he thought. But he didn't know that.

While everyone split up, Stan and Bill went to Ulta to buy Bev some more eyeshadow.

"She l-likes a lot of-of color shit, right?" Bill asked. Stan nodded.

"That _shit_ is called eyeshadow." He replied.

"Isn't i-it made o-out of bat sh-shit?"

"No, that's mascara and eyeliner."

"Gross."

"I don't understand why people wear it." Stan agreed.

"So, uh, I kn-know we've talked about it be-before, but… Do you think something m-m-might really be wrong with R-Richie?" Bill asked.

"What would be wrong with him?" Stan asked, glancing at him as he looked at a random eyeshadow pallet. "He's just gotten a lot quieter and he doesn't joke as much. I think he's just finally maturing some."

"I don't know, Stan…" Bill bit his lip. "I feel like he's shying away f-from us, kinda. Richie has _neve_ r been quiet like th-this. At first I thought he mi-might've been trying to d-draw attention to himself by n-not acting like normal, b-b-but it's gone on too long for it to be true."

"You have a good point." Stan agreed. "I don't know, though. I'll try and corner him at some point today and ask him."

"Don't f-f-force him into telling you." Bill told him. Stan glared at him. "I love you b-but you're kn-known to do that." Stan huffed. "Just act l-like you're cu-curious and see what he s-says." Stan nodded.

"Will do." Stan didn't say anything for a couple minutes- or, if we're being honest, he didn't say anything until they left the store and were at an emptier part of the mall. "I think I just… I'm just scared that something is actually wrong with him. Like… if I ignore it, it won't be true."

"Stan…"

"And I know that's horrible of me, but… I don't think I could handle a repeat of summer of '08." Something had happened to Richie that summer- no one saw him or heard from him in over a month, and when he finally did reappear he seemed distant, he didn't talk much. He'd never want to play at his old house, or really want to go home. No one knew why- his parents are great people and he'd told them on more than one occasion that it wasn't because of them.

"I know you don't. I d-don't either. Whatever ha-happened then might have ha-happened again o-or something triggered it." Stan sighed and nodded. Bill wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him closer, kissing his cheek. "Whatever it is, Richie'll be okay. We just need to be there for him like we were back then."

"Do you think we can have a meeting of sorts with the rest of the Losers? Without Richie. I want to see what they think."

"Y-yeah. I'll make a-another group chat and see when we can meet up."

* * *

Somehow, someway, it ended up just being Richie and Eddie at Target- Richie is sure that it was Beverly, who was at Rue 21 with his mom at the moment.

"I want a cat." Eddie said randomly.

"Oh no Eds- Eddie, cats are demons and they'd fight against you along with your mom." Eddie looked at him, eyebrows raised. "You know… 'Cause your mom is a demon."

"Very true."

"Plus I'm allergic to cats, therefore we'd never be able to spend time together 'cause then I'd be allergic to you- shit my eye keeps twitching."

"You know that's a sign of stress and fatigue. Or you've had too much caffeine."

"Well, I haven't had coffee in a couple days. I'm really regretting my life choices."

"So you're stressed and tired? What's wrong?" Eddie asked, stopping in the middle of the aisle.

"Nothing." Richie chuckled. "Just the usual stress of a Sophomore, you know?" Eddie gave him a look. "I'm fine, really. I just haven't been sleeping as much as usual, which honestly isn't unsurprising. Hey, don't you like that show?" He pointed at a poster at the end of the aisle and walked towards it. Eddie huffed.

 _You cute idiot. Why won't you tell me anything?_

* * *

 **So... there's gonna be a meeting of all the Losers... Except Richie.**

 **I wonder how well that's gonna go.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Man, y'all not gonna help a girl out and tell her she's been putting 2018 instead of 2017 like the beginning of the story for the last two chapters? Or did you guys just not question the** _ **time jump**_ **that wasn't supposed to happen? XD I'm sitting over here writing this chapter like "How old even are they" and I go back and look at last chapter to see the date (cause they were all born in 2001 in this and I'm bad at math sometimes** _**don't question it**_ **) and I know they're supposed to be like 16 or going on 16 and I see 2018 and I'm like? Did I miss something here? They're not** _ **17**_ **!**

 **In conclusion, I'm so used to writing 2018 in other stories that I did it in this one but it starts off in 2017 THEN goes into the New Year, so sorry about that mistake guys!**

 **Anyways, very soon, a certain mullet wearing asshole is, well, an asshole.**

 **P.S. This chapter is not what I originally expected it to be but I hope you enjoy.**

 **Shit happens next chapter, enjoy this cliffhanger.**

* * *

 **Wednesday, December 13, 2017**

 _ **Code Ricard**_

 _ **Bill added Bev, Ben and 3 others to the chat**_

(7:28 PM) Eddie- Bill you spelled Richard wrong

(7:28) Bill- idc it'll be fine

(7:29) Bill- it's not like he's gonna know

(7:29) Ben- what even is the chat name? Code Richard? Elaborate pls

(7:30) Stan- Bev do you know when Maggie and Richie's next mother son day thing is?

(7:31) Bev- Maggie said Saturday, why?

(7:32) Bill- we need to have a meeting that day, clear all your plans. We're worried about mr. tozier.

(7:34) Mike- Oh thank god I'm not the only one that's noticed

(7:34) Eddie- Please I keep asking him what's wrong and he Won't tell Me. It's annoying me!

(7:35) Ben- Bev you live with him has he talked to you about anything?

(7:35) Stan- And does he act like normal at home or does he act like he does around us?

(7:37) Bev- I mean… we still joke around like we used to, maybe not as much... He doesn't call m any weird nicknames anymore or raunchy jokes (though that's cause they might adopt me idk) and he doesn't swear in front of his parents or me as much anymore. He wears those crazy shirts on the weekends but that's about it.

(7:38) Stan- So it isn't just us he's changed around, then.

(7:38) Mike- he actually raises his hand and answers/asks questions in our classes together and tbh it scares me cause he never used to do that.

(7:39) Bill- Stan thinks/thought that it might just be Richie "maturing" but idk. I honestly don't think Richie maturing is him acting like this

(7:40) Eddie- Richie maturing is like him wearing shoes that match his wild shirts instead of completely opposite colors/patterns

(7:41) Ben- Richie maturing is him getting in a relationship and stopping telling us about his non-existant sex life.

(7:41) Bev- sksksksk BEN

(7:42) Bill- he's not wrong

(7:53) Stan- Also, thanks for taking almost a week for making the group chat, Bill -_- (7:54) Bill- Stan it's been 4 days

(7:54) Stan- It feels longer. I'm WORRIED.

* * *

 **Saturday, December 16, 2017**

It may not seem like it, but Stan Uris is worried about Richie Tozier. Honestly, truly, worried. Weird, right? Well, it's true, and Stan has always worried about his best friend- they're practically brothers. At least, that's how Stan felt when it came to Richie, and vice versa, but lately, he wasn't so sure Richie felt the same. The only reason he "disagreed" with Bill at all was because he didn't want to admit that he was wrong, being the stubborn sixteen year old he is.

Stan knows- hell, the rest of the group know- how closed off Richie is when it comes to feelings. They've never seen him cry and yet he's seen them all cry multiple times for many different reasons. Even when they were younger, the kid would run into a wall and nearly bust his head open but he wouldn't shed a tear.

 _Maybe not in front of us_ , Stan thinks as he stared at the door of the restaurant in front of him. _He's definitely hiding_ something _from us. Is it that bad that he can't tell us? Does he not trust us?_

He jumped at the loud smack on his window and looked to see Eddie standing there with a frown.

"We've been waiting for you to come inside for ten minutes. Are _you_ okay?"

"Yeah, sorry. I was lost in thought." Eddie nodded in understanding and the two made their way into the restaurant. They sat down with the rest of the group and ordered milkshakes.

"So." Ben said, clasping his hands together on the table in front of him. "Why did you two want to have a meeting about Richie?"

"Have you not noticed it?" Eddie blurted out.

"Noticed what? How weird he's been acting?" Ben asked.

"Ben, I've literally talked to you about this. A week ago!" Bev poked his arm.

"This is Richie we're talking about." Ben shrugged. "When _isn't_ he acting weird?"

"You have a point but this isn't Richie weird." Stan told him. "Richie being weird is being loud and raunchy and talking about his dick and fucking Eddie's mom. This Richie is quiet and wear's solid colors- and they're not even colorful clothes! He doesn't call us his weird nicknames anymore- something's going on and he's changed. He's more Richard than fucking Richie." Stan slapped the table. "He's like a brother to me and I feel like I'm being lied to every time I _look_ at him. It makes me sick thinking something so bad happened to him that he has to lie to me or all of us about."

"Where did him lying come from?" Bill muttered but Stan heard him.

"Have any of you asked Richie if he's okay?" Stan asked, crossing his arms. They didn't notice said teens truck drive up, they also didn't notice the teen stop in his tracks and stare at them for a solid minute.

"I've asked him multiple times." Eddie said. "He says he's fine."

"That's the lie." Stan said. "He's lying to us- maybe he _did_ something, maybe something _happened_ to him, but he's not telling us. I wanna know the truth." None of them noticed Richie as Mike started talking.

"I feel like he'd tell us…"

Richie quietly went and got the food his mom had ordered for them, Went and Bev, and paid for it. He stopped at an empty table and found the box of Bev's food and walked passed the table, tossing it on the table in front of her without a word.

"Hey Richie!" Ben said, but Richie just flipped them off as he walked away.

"Excuse me." Stan said, and Mike got out of his way. Stan nearly ran after Richie, just barely stopping Richie from shutting his door.

"What the hell is wrong with you? That was uncalled for, Richie." Stan started, and Richie scoffed.

"Whatever. Get out of the way."

"No, not until you tell me what your problem is."

"What my problem is?" Richie laughed humorlessly. "I'm the problem apparently, Stan. You might as well go ahead and tell me. It's fine."

"Nothing's fine, Richie. And you're-"

"You're right, Stanley. Nothing is fine. _Nothing_ is fine. Now please, if you would so kindly get out of the way and let me go home. I will walk if I have to."

"Not until you tell me what's wrong."

"What do you care, Stan?"

"What do I care? Excuse me? Last time I checked, you were my best friend and brother."

"Last time I checked- oh, just a few minutes ago, actually, I had a whole group of friends but not anymore."

"What the fuck did we do to you? Why are you like this?" Richie stared at him for a few seconds, tears stinging the back of his eyes.

"Get the fuck away from my door or I _will_ fuck you up." He hissed. "I'm not in the mood for your shit." Stan scoffed.

"You know what, fuck you, Richie. Let me know when you wanna stop lying to my face and being an asshole." He moved out of the way and before he walked away, Richie said,

"Yeah, I'm the biggest damn liar you'll ever meet, Stanley. You better fucking remember it." He slammed the door shut and his wheels spun as he backed up and drove away. Stan stormed back into the restaurant and told the rest of the Losers what was said. Almost immediately, they began texting group chats and Richie on his own.

When he got home, he gave his parents their food, told them he wasn't feeling good, and locked himself up in his room.

It was actually over. Their friendship- he and Stan's, the rest of the Losers. Whatever possible thing that could've happened with Eddie is far out the window. Richie curled into a ball in the corner of his bed, burying himself in his blankets. Bev probably wouldn't want to be adopted by his parents anymore- she'll probably want to move in with her aunt in Portland.

He knows why they were hanging out without them, he didn't blame them. He still must've swore too much and talked too much. Well, they wouldn't have to deal with him anymore. He'd keep his space from them, make sure they don't have to look at him. He was honestly waiting for the fact, he knew he annoyed them just by being present.

Changing didn't do shit for him. Was he gonna continue acting like the new Richie? Yes, because maybe if acting like this would make his parents love him too, he was damn sure gonna continue. He could tell they were happy that he'd stopped being a nuisance. He thought his friends would be happy too, but like always, Richie was wrong.

Richie let out a slow breath, grabbed his phone and left every group chat and muted every chat he was in one on one, and turned on some music. He sat there for maybe a minute and _finally_ realized he was crying, fat tears falling down his cheeks. He didn't make a sound, he didn't think he could if he tried. His throat was dry, his nose was running, he knew he looked like hell and he couldn't stop it.

* * *

 **Sunday, December 24, 2017**

It's been a little over a week since things went down, and Richie hasn't left his house _once_. His parents were convinced it was the flu and bought him medicine. He was very convincing, though, he looked like hell and probably was actually sick, because he sure felt like it. Bu he couldn't tell you if he was really sick with a virus or sick because of himself, his nasty thoughts. They disgusted him, the way he thought about himself, his old self, his new self, just his being in general. He hated himself.

Bev tried to talk to him- he didn't know why- but he wouldn't speak to her. She actually started crying last time, which really surprised him, but he just trudged back to his room and cried for making her cry, knowing she hated him even more for it. Some of the Losers- as far as he knew, none of them were Stan, but then again that friendship was over completely- had come over wanting to talk to him, but he refused.

 _Seeing them will just make you hurt more_ , he reasoned with himself. _You hurt enough as it is, don't make it any worse on yourself._

Oh who was he kidding, he could make the absolute worst thing worse somehow. He was just a walking fuck up, pretty much. Well, lying fuck up at this point because he barely even stands nowadays.

December twenty third, he didn't sleep a wink. He was up all night thinking, and ultimately decided that he would still give them their gifts, he'd just ding dong ditch them without the ding dong.

 _There's an actual word for that. Oh well._

He wrapped each present very carefully, as neatly as possible, and wrote a note in careful handwriting, taping them onto their presents. He got in his truck at four in the morning and drove off, stopping at Bev's first, of course.

 _Bev,_

 _You'll always be my sister, even if I'm not your brother. If you ever need anything you can come to me. I won't bother you anymore._

 _I'm sorry, Richie_

 _Bill,_

 _You were the hardest to write this note for. I'm just writing to formally resign from the Losers Club. Though, considering I will not be apart of this club anymore, you should probably stop calling yourselves that, since the biggest loser isn't your friend anymore. I'm sorry for being an annoying asshole to you and everyone else and I hope you can find it in you to forgive me one day._

 _I'm sorry, Richie._

 _ **Next was Ben (only because he and Bill lived on the same street)**_

 _Ben,_

 _I'm still a little annoyed at our little spat a while ago but I understand now. I know I'm annoying so I'll gladly get our of your way. Only God knows why you haven't moved me yourself._

 _I'm sorry, Richie_

 _Mike,_

 _I'm gonna miss our chickens, Mike. Tell them Richie said hi and give cuddles to Pig the sheep. I miss her a lot. I'm gonna stop coming over now because I know I get in the way of your chores._

 _I'm sorry, Richie_

 _Stan,_

 _Even though you hate my guts, I still love you and you'll always be Stan the man._

 _I'm so sorry, Richie_

 _ **(There were tear stains on that one but Richie didn't notice)**_

 _Eddie,_

 _I just want you to know that if I'm ever at the grocery store and see you and your mom, I'll get the hell out of dodge. I know she'll give you a hard time about that nasty Tozier boy if she's reminded of my existence._

 _Sorry she hates me, Richie_

 _P.S. I'm sorry for everything (jokes, etc)._

By the time Richie delivered all the presents, it was going on 5 AM. Deciding he didn't want to go home and face the music, he went to a park down the road from Eddie's house and sat on a swing. He surely didn't expect the unexpected, but in all honestly, he saw it coming from a mile away. Quite literally.


	11. Chapter 11

**Homophobic slurs and mentions of child abuse and (some) blood ahead.**

 **It's gonna get much worse for Richie before it gets better, but when it gets better? Well, the boy will never have been happier.**

 **Sorry it's shorter, the next chapter will definitely be longer! We have lot's to cover!**

 **Thank you all for the support for this story and lovely comments, they make my day!**

* * *

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" Henry crowed. "Why up so early on Christmas Eve, Bucky?" He asked. Richie ignored him, just staring at his phone. He'd seen a couple rabbits hopping around a few feet away from him and was recording them on his phone, but of course, the demon of Derry had to scare them away. Without stopping the recording, Richie put his phone down on the ground next to him. "Fucking faggot, cry baby. What'cha crying for? Daddy make you mad?"

"You're one to talk about daddy making you mad. It's the other way around for you." Richie replied. "We all know he beats you to a fucking pulp on the weekends, Bowers. I'd say I wouldn't blame him but that's fucked up to do to their own kid." Henry sort of froze for a split second, and sneered.

"You don't know anything, fag."

"Me being a fag doesn't have a damn thing to do with you. It isn't hurting you so shut the fuck up about it already." Richie huffed. He knew he was about to get his ass beat, he's been waiting for it for a while. Might as well get it over with.

"Fags are disgusting."

"Well you and me both are disgusting, Bowers. Don't think I forgot you going down on Hockey in the bathroom in middle school." First punch- thrown. Knocked him right out of the swing. "You can do better than that, I'm not even bleeding!" He felt his old self start coming back, ever so slightly as he spoke. _That's not gonna end well for me._ Henry hit him again, before he had a chance to stand back up. No use in fighting back, he'd lose anyway.

"You're too much of a fag to fight back, huh? You get your dick sucked for the first time and regretting it? That why you don't care if I kill you?"

"I didn't say all that, now." Richie stood up, shaking his head and wiping blood from under his nose.

"Oh? Or do you get off on getting your ass beat? That what it is?"

"Hell yeah, Bowers. Pull my hair and slap me again- I'm all yours." Richie deadpanned. "You see," Richie began wringing his hands, "people are like glow sticks. They've got to be broken to show who they really are. The thing is, some people come back stronger than ever- are better versions of themselves. Some… don't. Like you, Bowers. You've been broken so many times you don't- how should I put this? You don't _work_ anymore. You don't know how to be a decent human being and you're fine with it. And I know this isn't gonna change the fact that you're gonna beat the shit outta me, but I just thought I'd get that out there."

"I'm itching to kill you…" Henry purred. Richie shrugged, wiping under his nose again.

"Then scratch it."

* * *

It was eight in the morning when Bev woke up, having to pee. She hauled herself out of bed and opened her door, nearly tripping over a box in front of her door.

"The fuck-?" She leaned down and picked it up, looking to see if there was a tag. What she found was a short note. She ran over to her bed, thoughts of going to the bathroom long gone. She put it on her bed and grabbed her phone, texting the group chat until everyone replied- which surprisingly didn't take long.

 **The Losers Club!3**

(8:12 AM) Mammy Bev- guys go look out your front doors and see if you got a gift from Richie with a note on it.

(8:14) Spagheds- what the fuck what is this shit

(8:15) Billy Bill- what the hell? Everyone send pics of the notes.

(everyone sent them at almost the exact same time)

(8:15) Micky- Bev is Richie home?

(8:17) Mammy Bev- no I just busted in his room and his bed is 100% empty. His sheets are cold so he's been gone a while.

(8:18) Spagheds- why is mine so different from you guys he's just talking about my mom.  
(8:18) Spagheds- which isn't unusual, but why did he say (jokes, etc) you don't use etc unless there are like two or more examples.

(8:19) Stan the Man- Eddie that's not important right now.

(8:23) Mammy Bev- I've been calling him but no answer

(8:24) Mammy Bev- something's wrong. Maggie just came in my room in panic mode and said she had a bad feeling and asked if I knew where Richie went and she started crying.

(8:24) Mammy Bev- I've never seen her cry

(8:25) Pappy Ben- everyone start texting and calling Richie- make new group chats if you have too because he's probably muted everyone. If no one gets anything in ten minutes text this chat and then we'll go to the Tozier's house.

(8:35) Billy Bill- still nothing I'm about to walk out the door now.

(8:36) Micky- I'm getting changed and I'll be there soon.

(8:39) Spagheds- I'll be there asap I gotta get passed my mom she's already awake. I woke her up when I went to the door.

* * *

"Someone please explain what the hell is going on?" Went asked, looking between his wife and (almost) adopted daughter. "It's too early for me to be awake on Christmas Eve."

"I have a bad feeling, Went." Maggie said, biting at her thumb nail. He put a comforting hand on her knee. "Something's wrong."

"With…?" He looked at her, and eyebrow raised. She shook her head.

"No, with Richie."

"Ah, yeah… I can't say I don't have a weird feeling either." The three looked at each other in silence for a moment or two, but the silence was broken by a loud knock on the door, making a few of them jump. Went jumped up and opened the door, Bev following close behind.

"Uh, hi, I'm assuming this is Richie's house because Goddamn he looks like you." _Greta_ said.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Greta."

"Why are you here?" Bev asked, nudging Went out of the way and crossing her arms.

"Well, I was on my way to my grandma's house when I saw your friend sitting on the side of the road with blood all over him and talking gibberish." She moved to the side to show Richie stumbling up the driveway, knees buckling and catching himself with his hands. He muttered something as Bev and Went darted out the door and to Richie's side, helping him up. Went put Richie's face in his hands, making his son look at him.

"-laser beam, guaranteed- Oh, hey... hey dad!" Richie muttered. "Fancy seeing you... here."

"This is your house." Went said, brushing hair out of Richie's face to get a good look at him.

"Oh, is... it?" Richie squinted at the house, one eye nearly swollen shut. Then Went realized he wasn't wearing his glasses- and apparently no contacts either. "Huh"

"What happened to you?" Went cooed. Richie shrugged painfully and started walking towards the house. He stumbled and almost face planted but Went caught him. Bev didn't really know what to do or say, she stared at him in disbelief- wondering how the hell he was standing up right- and had her hands hovering over him rather than touching him.

"Feel better, Tozier." Greta said, making a face as she walked by the two.

"Thanks… G." Richie saluted her and hugged his arms to his chest. He cleared his throat and looked at his dad. "Where's mom? I... want ma."

"I think you need to go to the hospital, Richie."

"No, no, no, no." Richie shook his head with every no, standing as tall as he could. Went could see the pain in his features when he did so- so he knew something was wrong. "I want... mama." He said pitifully.

"Okay, come on. If she says go, you're going. Understood?"

"Always listen... to mama. It what…. you always tol' me!" Richie nodded.

"Hey Bev, can you go get the comforter off Richie's bed and bring it downstairs?" Went told her as he made his way up the steps, practically carrying a babbling Richie.

"Yeah." She ran inside.

"Bev's here?" Richie asked, tilting his head to the side.

"She just walked by- she lives here, son." Went looked down at him- his heart ached at what he saw. There was a cut on his cheek, bleeding a little still, one above his swollen eye that will probably need stitches, a busted lip- possibly broken nose. Who knows what's underneath his clothes. His cheeks were red and splotchy from the cold-and probable tears he'd shed.

 _What the hell have I been missing?_

"Oh."

"Richie?" Maggie exclaimed, rushing out of the door. She ran down the steps and hugged him tight.

"Owie." He muttered into her shoulder. "Hi, ma."

"What the hell happened to you?" She asked, pulling away and taking his face in her hands, brushing his hair back to get a good look at his face. "Oh my God, who did this to you?"

"Bowers." Bev said, putting the blanket over Richie as Went and Maggie lead the teen into the house. "Bowers has been plotting Richie's murder for weeks."

"Same." Richie muttered.

"What?" Maggie asked.

"What?" Richie looked at her.

"But he won't get in trouble because Bowers _never_ gets in trouble." She hissed. "We never have proof that it was him." Richie let out a painful chuckle and grabbed his phone out of his pocket, swaying slightly.

"I have proof… Bevs." Bev literally wanted to burst into tears the second he spoke to her. Richie handed the phone to her. He wiggled painfully out of his mother's arms and went to walk up the stairs.

"What the- where do you think you're going?" Maggie asked, following him. "You need to go get checked out at the hospital."

"No!" He whined. "I just wanna... go cry myself to...to sleep some more, okay?"

"No, you're going to the hospital, Richie." Bev said. "We want what's best for you and-"

"Oh my God." Maggie gasped. Richie hit the ground quick, before anyone could even move.

"No, no, no, no." He buried his face in his hands. "You don't… you don't want what's best… best… fuck. Best for me... you don't care. You hate me, I hate me." He sobbed. He gasped and clasped his hands over his chest and stomach, coughing. "It hurts." He gasped out.

"Dammit- Bev, go get the car started." Went said, crouching in front of his son.

"I don't... want to go." He cried.

"I know you don't, but Richie- Richie, look at me , son." He lifted Richie's chin with his hand and he saw blood coming from his mouth. He looked at Richie's hands and saw blood there too. "Dammit." He stood up and picked Richie up as carefully as he could, literally carrying him. Richie squirmed for a solid second before giving up and letting his dad carry him out the door.


	12. Chapter 12

**Okay so, what's happening to Richie is something that happened to my brother- just very different circumstances. My brother got in an ATV accident that caused this and Richie, well, got his ass beat and was kicked hard af. I'm writing this from watching my brother in the hospital- he was a little older than Richie and huge (like tall and muscular- Richie is not) so it'll be a little different. It's been a few years since so I don't remember every detail so if something isn't medically accurate that's why.**

 **Things get worse next chapter, but before you try to kill me, just know Richie will be okay. Scarred for life- mentally, physically) but okay!**

* * *

Went and Bev sat in the ER waiting room, both of their knees bouncing nervously, when Bev's phone rang loudly, making the two jump. It was Stan.

"Fuck." She hissed and answered the phone. Before she could get a word in, Stan said,

"Where the fuck are you guys?"

"Richie- I- He, we're at the hospital." She said, biting her thumb nail. "I'm sorry I didn't text or call but he just- he looked so bad, Stan. I didn't even think- Maggie is in the emergency room with him, me and Went are in the waiting room."

"We'll be there in ten minutes." Stan said, hanging up immediately after.

Ten minutes later, a very worried Losers club stood in front of Went and Bev, trying to speak over each other.

"Look, just sit down and I'll explain." Bev sighed, rubbing at her eyes.

"How did you find him? Or did someone else find him and call an ambulance or?" Eddie rambled.

"Eddie." Bill gave him a look and Eddie sat between Mike and Bill.

Bev went on to explain what happened, getting interrupted when she told them Greta was who found him, and Went butted in a few times. He fidgeted nervously, much like Richie did. Tapping his fingers on his knee, bouncing his leg, and biting his lip.

* * *

The group waited for an hour and a half for an update, the only texts Went was getting was because he texted Maggie himself. His phone dinged a couple times and he looked, seeing Maggie had sent him two pictures. He opened them, paling immediately.

One was of Richie's back, bruises forming (he couldn't help but see his ribs, and _God_ , if that didn't break his heart), a gash across his left shoulder-which was definitely dislocated now that he got a good look at it- that has been stitched up already.

The other picture was his face and upper body, his chest and shoulders looking similar to his back, bruises all over. His face had been cleaned of all blood, but he still looked horrible. With the pictures, she said,

(11:29 AM) Mags- He's in a lot more pain and is sort of coming back to himself. I'll explain in a few, they're gonna take him for a CT scan and x-rays. Be there soon.

"My God." Went covered his mouth. "I'm gonna kill that sorry fucker." He growled.

"What happened?" Ben asked.

"Maggie sent me some pictures. I'll be back, I'm gonna make a quick call." He stood and stormed out of the hospital. He went to the smoking area and lit up a cigarette, pressing the call button on an all too familiar number.

He wasn't gone long, and when he did come back, Maggie had just walked into the waiting room, eyes rimmed red.

"What are they saying?" He asked as Eddie asked,

"How is he?"

"He's… he's in a lot of pain." She said, running a hand through her hair." She sat in Went's spot and he crouched in front of her, putting his hands on her hips and squeezing in a comforting way. "He's dehydrated and has a concussion. That's why he was so out of it when he got home. He's got an IV in- they're giving him a bag of nutrients and stuff they call a banana bag."

"I've got that before." Eddie said. "Not that I need it and it's not important right now, sorry, carry on." Maggie huffed out a laugh.

"How was he acting when you left?" Stan asked.

"He didn't want me to leave." Her voice broke at the end. "Went, he… he reminded me of-of…" She took a deep breath and wiped her eyes. He grabbed her free hand and squeezed. "He begged me not to go but I told him I couldn't go with him. I promised I'd still be there when he got back so I can't stay long."

"What kinds of tests are they doing?" Eddie asked.

"CT scan, X-rays, blood work. They're checking for brain damage and internal bleeding because he's coughed up some blood."

"Oh God." Eddie put his hand on his forehead. "If he dies I'm gonna kill him."

"Richie will be fine." Mike said, putting a hand on Eddie's shoulder.

"H-he's strong." Bill agreed.

"The nurse said that since it's not a lot of blood, it's a good sign. It's not good at all, of course, but… It means there's no bad internal bleeding or anything."

"Can I come with you when you go back?" Eddie asked.

"I don't know… I don't think now is a good time to see anyone other than me. He's convinced everyone hates him, and I don't know why he doesn't want Went back there."

"I'm still salty he didn't want me back there." Went huffed. "Like I carried his skinny ass to the car, and in here so he didn't have to walk."

"I can't believe you just used salty in a sentence." Bev said, a small grin on her face. "Rich would be proud." Went snorted.

"Well, I carried him in me for nine months so he likes me better than you." Maggie told Went, who glared. She gave him a small smile and pecked him on the forehead, standing. "I'll text him if anything changes or we get any news." They nodded and she quickly made the short trip back to Richie's room. They rolled him back into the room just as she sat down.

"Hey baby, I told you I'd still be here." She told him. He nodded, letting out a breath.

"He's not too happy." The nurse said. "I told him he might have to have a drainage tube put in his nose. If there's blood in his stomach, that is."

"Hopefully not. But there's gotta be blood coming from somewhere."

"He might have swallowed a lot- maybe bit his tongue when he got hit and it bled a lot, and he's just coughing it back up. We'll be find out when the tests come back." Maggie nodded and the nurse left. Richie sighed, closing his eyes.

"Are they not... worried about my... chest hurting?" He asked, lifting a hand to scratch his nose.

"They must not think it's something to worry about. It's probably bruised or broken ribs."

"Lucky me." He mumbled.

"How's your head?" She asked, standing and brushing a few knotty curls out of his face.

"Hurts." He replied, sighing when she began running her fingers through his hair. The cut above his eyebrow wasn't as deep as they'd thought, and only needed butterfly stitches, the cut on his cheek as well- but instead of those, it was just a bandage, His nose somehow hadn't been broken, but it was obvious he's gotten hit. "Life would… be a lot… fuckin' better if… I could fuckin'... see."

"Blurry vision makes it worse, huh?" She asked. He nodded, grimacing.

"I don't… know… where they… went. He punched me… and they went… they fuckin'... flew away." He was sounding much more like his old self, before he'd gotten quieter.

"Your friends are in the waiting room with your dad and Bev." She told him. He opened his eyes- well, one eye- and looked at her.

"Really?" He asked.

"Mhm, they've been here since nine. They love you, Richie. They're worried and want to see you."

"Why?" He sounded so much like a child. "They… hate me." His lips trembled.

"Baby," She cooed, "No they don't. Why would you think that?"

"Th-they hang... out without me… and think I'm a… liar. And I _am_ a liar, mom!" His heart rate began picking up. "Stan and I… we- I… we had a fight… and I- I said shit that… that I shouldn't have li-like... I used to and he... called me a liar and an... asshole." He squeezed his eyes shut and let out a painful sob, covering his mouth with his hand. She grabbed his free hand with hers and crouched next to him, squeezing his hand comfortingly. She'd hug him but that'd make his pain worse.

"Richie… baby, I'm sure there was a reason they didn't invite you."

"Because I'm the... biggest fucking dick."

"No-"

"I am, I am, I am." He cried, rough sobs wracking through his body. "I've tried _so h-hard_ to change and... it wasn't good… enough. I'm not... good enough." He gripped his hair with his hand instead, bringing his knees up to his chest, even though it hurt. "I'm sorry... I'm not good enough, mama. I-I- fuck, it hurts." He moaned. The heart monitor started beeping and a nurse rushed in. "I can't breathe. I can't- I can't breathe." He gasped, coughing. She didn't say anything, she just grabbed a mask and put it over his mouth and nose and turned a machine on.

"Try and take some deep breaths for me, Sweetie. You're okay."

"No, no, no, no…" He cried, squeezing Maggie's hand back. She was crying silently as she watched. She didn't know what to say. It took a few minutes, but he calmed down enough to where there were just silent tears falling. "There we go, we're okay now, right?" He nodded.

"S-sorry." He stuttered.

"Don't apologize, baby." Maggie said, shaking her head. "Is there anything you can give him for pain?" Maggie asked, watching as he gripped the bar on one side of the bed with the hand that wasn't holding hers.

"On a scale from one to ten, how bad is your pain?" She asked.

"Fuckin'... highest number possible."

"Ten?"

"Higher."

"Okay, I'll go talk to your doctor and see what we can do for you." She left and maybe a half an hour later, a doctor walked in. A tall blonde woman.

"Hi Mr. Tozier, can you look at me?" She asked. He turned his head away from his mom and looked at her. "I'm Dr. Alleyne."

"Call me… Richie." He muttered.

"Okay, Richie. Can you tell me your full name and birthday?" She asked.

"Richard Wentworth Tozier…" He let out a small whimper. "March… seventh, two thousand one."

"Okay, good. Do you mind if I press on your stomach? It will probably hurt, since that's where your pain is, correct?" He nodded. "I'll be able to see if there's anything out of the ordinary."

"Okay. I might… kick you."

"Wouldn't be the worst thing to happen to me." She told him with a smile, pulling on some gloves. She looked at Maggie. "Has he had his appendix removed? Or any major surgeries?"

"Um, no, but there was an… accident a couple years ago." Dr. Alleyne nodded.

"Okay, I'm sorry in advance, Richie." She said, and began pressing on his stomach. He let Maggie's hand go to grab onto the other handle, squeezing it as hard as he could, eyes squeezed shut, trying to hold in a _scream_. Maggie covered her mouth, standing up carefully, but staying by the bed.

"Okay, I'm finished." She said, tossing the gloves in the trash and putting hand sanitizer on. "Something doesn't exactly feel… right, to me. The scans will come back pretty soon, so as soon as they come back, we'll be able to let you know." She said. Maggie nodded.

"What about pain medicine?" She asked.

"I'll have Martha bring him something. It won't be very powerful due to his concussion, though."

"Okay, thank you." Dr. Alleyne left. "I'm so sorry, baby." She said, running her fingers through his hair again.

"S'not your fault." He mumbled, tilting his head closer to her. "I had it coming."

"No, Richie, you didn't."

"If I… had just… shut my mouth…"

"That… child… demon, whatever you wanna call him-"

"Quality nickname right there, ma." He whispered. She chuckled, shaking her head.

"Hush. He shouldn't have touched you. I promise you, you'll never see him again, baby. Your dad won't let him get away with it."

"He better fuckin' not… best lawyer… my ass if he… doesn't."

* * *

Two hours later and it's nearing two thirty in the afternoon, the waiting room wasn't very packed, and Richie was still in the emergency room. He'd had his shoulder popped back into place- swearing like a sailor the entire time- and was wearing a sling, and had the tube in his nose. Nurse _Martha_ decided he needed to be on oxygen, so now he had oxygen going through one nostril from a nasal cannula.

The pain medicine didn't do anything for him, and the pain got worse and worse as time went on. They wouldn't let him drink anything- even though Maggie wet some paper towels and let the water drip into his mouth.

"Mom?" He asked.

"Hm?" She sat up straighter, pulling her jacked around her front a little more.

"You should… go get something… to eat."

"No-"

"Mom, I'll be… okay. I'm at a… hospital after… all."

"You little smart ass." She muttered. He stuck his tongue out at her.

"And make dad… and the others…. Eat. If they're… still here."

"They are, and I will. Do you want anyone to come back here?" She asked, standing up.

"Um, dad once... you guys have ate." He said. "And… Bev and Eddie."

"Okay, I'll send them back here. I'll be back as soon as possible, m'kay?" She said. He nodded. She kissed his head and gave him a little wave before leaving.

"Any news besides the oxygen and nose tube?" Eddie asked immediately when he saw her. She shook her head.

"No, the pain medicine hasn't helped him and he's annoyed- and bossy. He told me to go eat and make Went and you guys eat if you haven't."

"Of course he did." Bev chuckled. "Bill forced us to go eat but Went wouldn't go."

"Good, good… Richie asked for you and Eddie to go back, now."

"Does this child hate me?" Went grumbled, crossing his arms.

"No," She chuckled, patting his shoulder, "He wanted to see you _after_ you've eaten too. Wouldn't take no for an answer."

"Stubborn little shit."

"Very true. He's gonna be moved to a room soon, so you all will probably be able to see him." Maggie told them. "He's in room 37, we'll be back soon." She grabbed Went's hand and pulled him off towards the cafeteria.  
"Uh, well, we'll let you know how he is when we go back there." Bev said, standing along with Eddie.

"Please." Mike said, and the two walked away.

"I wonder why he just wanted to see Bev and Eddie." Ben said.

"Well, I mean… Bev is practically his sister." Bill said. "And Eddie? I don't know."

"I know why he didn't wanna see me." Stan mumbled, resting his chin in his hand.

"Don't be hard on yourself, Stan. I'm sure he'll want to see you." Mike told him. He just shrugged.

Bev and Eddie could hear Richie talking as they rounded the corner to go into his room.

"... a real one, Martha." He was saying. Bev tapped on the wall and pulled the curtain back, walking in. Eddie could hardly hold in the gasp and Bev immediately started tearing up. He looked _horrible_.

"If you need anything else, just press the button." Nurse Martha told Richie, gave the two a smile, and left, pulling the curtain closed behind her.

"She gave me… a nicotine… patch." He told them, pointing at his arm.

"That's… that's nice, Chee." Eddie whispered.

"You look horrible." Bev slapped a hand over her mouth. "I'm sorry."

"I know I look… like shit… least he didn't… knock out any… teeth." He waved his hand randomly.

"I mean you look worse than I did." She said, walking closer to him.

"Well shit."

"Bev, shut up." Eddie rolled his eyes, walking around the other side.

"Hello Dr. K." Richie muttered. "I'm sure you can tell me more than these fuckers."

"Oh my God."

"What?" Richie asked.

"You said fuck!" He exclaimed. Bev hit his arm.

"Shhh!"

"I said… fuckers." Richie corrected.

"Who are you and where did quiet Richie go?"

"I'll go back... to him when… I'm not in… fuckin' level nine zillion pain."

"That's not a number, Sweetie." Bev told him, putting a hand on her hip.

"I'm gonna… fuckin… shoot myself."

"Don't say that- if someone hears you they'll literally tie you to the bed and isolate you for three days." Eddie said quickly.

"Kinky."

"I'm gonna cry." Bev said, fanning her face. Richie squinted at her.

"Why?"

"Because you're… you." She said. "Richie, Sweetie, we love you so much, okay? We never wanted you to change."

"We don't want you to go back to quiet Richie." Eddie continued. "It freaks me out and I'm worried about you."

"We'll… see. If I don't… die."


	13. Chapter 13

**Some of you will love me- and definitely hate me for the cliffhanger. I'm aware that this... thing was sudden (the part you'll be happy about) but, well, you'll see :D.**

* * *

Richie was finally moved to a room not long after Eddie and Bev got to him.

"Ah, fuck you... I'm not... sitting down." Richie huffed to Martha. "Sorry, I'm... in pain. Standing in… helps."

"You two watch him and make sure he doesn't fall, okay?" She said, leaving the room after patting him on the back. Richie kept his hand on the IV stand to hold himself up.

"Hey Chee?" Eddie said softly.

"Hi." Richie mumbled. Eddie chuckled and rubbed his back.

"Do you think you're up to seeing anyone else? They really wanna see you." Richie took a couple deep breaths and nodded.

"Yeah."

"Okay… I'll go get them." Eddie said, and went to walk away ut Richie said in a panicked voice,

"No!" Eddie immediately stopped and looked back at him. "S-sorry. Bev, can you go? I… I want to talk… to Eddie." She gave him a look, even though he couldn't see.

"Are you gonna…?" She asked.

"Yeah."

"Ooh, okay. I'll try and take my time, then." She left the room.

"Is everything okay?" Richie looked at him as if to say _really_ and he chuckled. "True, sorry."

"Okay, um…" Richie slowly sat Indian style on the bed as best he could. "Sit…" He pointed to the foot of the bed. Eddie sat identical to him.

See, since his mom told him that his _friends_ were in the waiting room- on _Christmas Eve_ \- and the pain made him feel like he was literally going to die, he'd been thinking about telling Eddie- if anything, that he's bi and that's all. Richie being Richie thinks he's really gonna die, so he wants to get it out there.

"What is it, Chee?" Eddie asked, grabbing his hand and squeezing it. The taller teen had blanked for a few minutes. He blinked and shook his head.

"Sorry. So… um, sorry for… lying about… this." He started. Eddie raised his eyebrows. "I'm… I'm not- I… fuck, was it this… hard for you… when you… came out?"

"No, everyone pretty much knew I was gay as fuck from the git go." Eddie told him, then his eyes widened. "Wait, what?"

"Oh." Richie huffed out a laugh, swallowing hard when it hurt. "I guess… I just told… you. I, uh… I lied. About being… straight. I'm… bi." Eddie stared at him.

"Are you serious?" Eddie whispered. Richie nodded and squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for Eddie to yell at him. Instead, he felt the bed move and suddenly- lips on his. He gasped, and before he could attempt to kiss back, Eddie pulled away and slapped a hand over his mouth.

"I'm sorry- I shouldn't have- your lip is bleeding." Eddie stood up and grabbed some tissues, coming back and wiping the blood away. "I'm sorry, I should've… asked." Richie stared at him, heart rate picking up.

"You're not… mad?" Richie asked, tilting his head slightly.

"What? Of course not! Are you mad? I kissed you without asking. You don't even… feel the same."

"I'm not… not mad, Eds." Richie's cheeks turned bright red.

"You're not?" Richie shook his head.

"Kiss me… again."

"But your lip…"

"I don't care… Eddie." Richie gave him a small smile. Eddie smiled back and leaned forward, pressing his lips to Richie's. Richie kissed back this time and God- the fucking monitor started beeping. Eddie pulled away with a worried look on his face, then smirked when Richie covered his face with his hand. "S'not funny, Eds." He mumbled.

"Sure, it isn't funny, Chee."

The rest of the Losers walked in right after, and a nurse walked in behind them before anyone could say anything.

"Everything okay in here?" She asked, pressing a button on the monitor.

"Peachy." Richie replied. Eddie nodded and she smiled at them, nodding and leaving the room. Eddie leaned forward and whispered in his ear,

"We'll talk later, when you're feeling better." Richie nodded.

"How's the pain?" Bev asked, giving him a knowing look. He ignored it.

"Feels like… my guts are… being ripped… out." He replied.

"Have they given you anything for it?" Ben asked.

"Yeah… but it hasn't… helped… fuck!" Pain ripped through him as if on cue and he gripped the bar on the bed. "Fuck, fuck, fuck." He squeaked.

"Jesus." Bill whispered. Stan made a noise and left the room.

No one said anything for a couple minutes, just silently watching Richie as he tried to hide his pain.

"You don't have to hide from us, Richie." Mike said softly.

"Yeah? If… I don't… I'll end up… making you leave… me anyways."

"Richie… is this a-about us at the resta-restaurant? Bill asked. Richie didn't say anything.

"Richie, we were there without you because we were talking about you. You think we haven't noticed you changing, don't you?" Ben asked.

"I was hoping… not."

"Well, we have." Bev said. "And that's why we didn't invite you. We were worried about you- we _are_ worried about you, now more than ever.

"What makes you think we hate you?" Eddie asked. "You know I don't." Richie blushed again.

"Just… I hate… myself. It'd make sense that… that you guys would… too. I-I know I'm… I'm embarrassing and… annoying."

"Richie, no." Mike shook his head. "Annoying, sometimes, but that's what we love about you. Embarrassing, yes, but we love that about you too. The only reason we'd tell you to chill, in public, was so we wouldn't get in trouble."

"Yeah, that doesn't mean we hate you. "Ben said. "Some things, yeah, you needed to chill with, but the rest we don't care. Swear all you want, wear what you want, do what you want- be who you want."

"You can't be me," Stan said, walking in with a pair of glasses in hand. "But you can be you- the loud, insane you, or the quiet you- whichever you want." He opened the glasses and carefully put them on Richie. They had a crack along the outer edge, but he could finally see. "You need to talk to us, don't shut us out."

"You're one... to talk." Richie grumbled, blinking a couple times. "Thanks." He muttered.

"I know, and I'll change that as best I can." Stan agreed. "And I… I'm sorry for the things I said to you. You're an asshole but not the bad kind."

"What kind of… asshole is… is good?" Richie asked with a small grin. Stan rolled his eyes.

"I'm gonna ignore that for now. I don't hate you, you're like a brother to me and I love you."

"Love you… too. All… of you."

"I also may have just… threatened the nurses at the nurses station that if they didn't come and give you something to actually help the pain that we'd take you to another hospital. So you should be getting something soon."

"Thank… God."

* * *

It was another ten minutes before the nurse came in, and when she did, she said,

"The reason it didn't help the first time is because the other nurse gave you the amount we'd give to a 6 year old rather than a sixteen year old." She put something in his IV. "This should help fairly quickly."

"Fucking finally." He grumbled.

"Still nothing on the scans?" Eddie asked.

"I'm not sure, but either way I wouldn't be able to tell you, I'm sorry." She said. "Your doctor will only tell you if your parents or guardians are in the room." She gave them a sympathetic smile and left the room.

"Bev, tell mom... that if this ever happens... again- don't... come to this... hospital."

"This better not fucking happen again." She huffed.

"Went is gonna make sure Bowers is locked up." Eddie said.

"Speaking of Went, he used salty in a sentence earlier." Bev told Richie, who snorted.

"What the... fuck."

"He told us you didn't want him back there with you."

"It's not that, I just... I wanted my mom and only my mom."

"Can't relate." Eddie deadpanned. Richie chuckled and blinked slowly.

"Ah, shit... my heads all fuzzy now." He said, yawning.

"The medicine is probably making you sleepy." Eddie said. "You look like you need a nap."

"Fuck you."

"Maybe later." Eddie replied. He glanced at the monitor and saw Richie's heart rate speed up a little at that. Eddie smirked and Richie blushed, laughing a bit. Bev giggled to herself.

"Try and sleep while you're not hurting, we'll still be here when you wake up." Mike told him. Richie nodded and fiddled with the buttons on the bed, making it go back some. Bev threw the cover over him and he was knocked out in no time.

"That was quick."Ben said, chucking.

"I don't think he's slept much lately, like at all." Bev said. "I'll wake up in the middle of the night and he'd be playing his music."

"I have so many questions." Bill said. "Like what the fuck and why did Greta of all people actually pick Richie up off the side of the road?"

"I hard she's been crushing on him." Ben said. "Since he stopped... being him."

"Well..." Eddie chuckled, but didn't continue. Instead, he leaned over Richie and cleaned some more blood off his mouth, from when he was smiling.

The Losers looked at each other- Bev with a knowing grin on her face- and the boys confused.

Just then, there was a small knock on the door and Went and Maggie came in. Maggie let out a breath of relief when she saw he was asleep.

"How long has he been asleep?" She asked, walking around to Richie's other side. "And who found his glasses?"

"Not long." Stan said. "And I had an old pair I put in Bill's car the last time he broke them." Went just stared at Richie. Bev thought he was gonna burst into tears, but instead, he asked,

"Did you kids get whatever it was sorted?"

"Yes sir." Stan answered.

"Good. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go beat Bowers ass." He said, starting towards the door.

"But you'll get in trouble!" Ben said immediately. Went chuckled.

"I don't mean that Bowers, Ben. But God do I wish I could. Call me if anything happens."

* * *

Once Butch Bowers had not one tooth in his head- Maggie called her husband, freaking the fuck out.

"They have to do emergency surgery, Went. I-I-I c-can't deal with this on m-my own."

"Fuck, I'm on my way."


	14. Chapter 14

"Oh my God, you have blood on you- are you okay? Are you hurt? It's a good thing we're at a-" Maggie rambled. Went put his hands on her shoulders.

"I'm fine." He told her. "It's not my blood."

"Oh, God, did you kill him? Oh God you did." She covered her mouth.

"Maggie, calm down, baby." He squeezed her shoulders comfortingly. "I didn't kill him, but I wanted to. He just has a badly bloody broken nose that squirted on me."

"Gross." Eddie gagged

The group then silently made their way to the waiting room on the fifth floor- also the ICU floor, where, according to the others, there were recliners and couches- albeit not the most comfortable.

"What did the doctor say?" Stan demanded upon seeing them. Bill put a hand on his shoulder and gave him a look. "I'm sorry, I'm just worried.

"She told me that there's a, uh, a hole in Richie's diaphragm and that his stomach is moving up through that hole and into his chest."

"That's not good." Ben muttered.

"It's a serious, risky surgery." Went said, sitting with Maggie on one of the couches. "They're most likely gonna send him to ICU afterwards."

"Richie's strong enough to make it through this, isn't he?" Stan asked. Went ran a hand through his hair and sighed.

"I'd like to think so. After all the things that boys gone through, he better beat this or I'm gonna beat his ass."

* * *

Hours later, it was nearing four in the morning. Richie's been in surgery for nearly eight hours now. Stan managed to convince Bill to go home around the seventh hour because he knew Georgie would be disappointed if Bill wasn't there to open their gifts.

"I'm coming back with breakfast as soon as I'm done. Let me know if you find out anything." He'd said. He didn't want to leave but he knew Richie would probably bitch slap him for not being with Georgie on Christmas day.

(3:57 AM) Bill: Stan I'm not going to sleep  
(3:57) Bill: it's literally impossible for me to do that right now

(3:58) Stan: Please try, Bill. Believe me it's hard to sleep for me too, and not just because this chair is uncomfortable. I'll let you know as soon as the doctor comes out.

(4:01) Bill: fine, but i highly doubt i'll be sleeping. Love you.

(4:01) Stan: I love you too.

Almost everyone was asleep when a nurse came out around four thirty. Went was awake- the only one awake, so when he saw the nurse, he gently shook Maggie's shoulder.

"Hm?" She sat up and rubbed at her eyes, then saw the nurse and jumped up. "How is he?" She asked immediately.

"They're finishing closing him up now." The nurse said. "There were a few complications but he's stable now. The doctor will tell you everything once she comes out. An hour at the earliest." She told them. "I do know, though, that your son is one strong young man and I very much believe he'll make a full recovery." Maggie gave her a small smile and the nurse left. They waited a couple minutes and decided to wake everyone up and let them know.

"Hey- hey kids!" Went called softly. Eddie and Stan woke up almost immediately, being very light sleepers, and the others followed, though it took a couple tries to get Bev up, who was a heavy sleeper. Much like Richie was.

"Is something wrong?" She asked, looking at everyone. Her friends shrugged and they looked to the Toziers.

"They're closing him up now. A nurse just came a few minutes ago and said it would be another hour or so and the doctor will come out. I guess because there's a recovery period or something." Went explained.

"Did the nurse say how he did?" Stan asked. "Is he a hundred percent okay or?"

"He just had his guts hanging out of him on a operating table, he's not one hundred percent, Stan." Eddie huffed.

"Shut up, you know what I mean."

"She said there were a few complications but that he's stable now. She said he's strong and that she thinks he'll make a full recovery." Maggie told them. Stan took his phone out and texted Bill quickly.

"Do you think we'll be able to see him tonight?" Bev asked.

"I doubt it, if he's going to ICU. Your mom and I might- Oh." Went chuckled a little at that and Bev grinned. "We might be able to see him for a few minutes."

"We better be able to see him." Maggie huffed.

"Are you okay, Mrs. Tozier?" Stan asked. "I mean, I know you're not because of all this but… you seem different."

"I'm fine, Sweetie, just worried is all."

"I've noticed something different about you though, before this. You kinda look different."

"I am changing, Stan." She chuckled softly. She glanced at Went who shrugged. "We uh, we do have some good news but we want to tell Richie first, and let him tell you."

"What about me?" Bev wiggled her eyebrows. She was still worried out the ass but now that she knew the surgery was over and that he was stable, she felt a little better.

"We might tell you both together." Went chuckled. "We've yet to figure out how."

"We were gonna tell him today, be one of his presents." Maggie teared up a little. "He loves Christmas and he can't even celebrate it because of that stupid little shithead that was dropped on his head too many times." She sniffed and wiped her eyes. "That child needs some serious help."

"Richie said that he's seen him torturing small animals, like rabbits and stuff." Mike said.

"How in the hell has he seen that?" Went asked, eyes wide.

"He said he made a wrong turn one night on the way home and saw him. I think he might have got it on video too."

"Didn't he say he had proof that it was Bowers who did it?" Bev asked.

"I think he did." Went said, making a face. "When he can we need to see if he'll show us. I don't want to get on his phone when he can't give permission."

"Is that the lawyer you respecting your privacy or the parent?" Eddie asked. "Because either way- at least someone's parents respect them."

"Both." Went said and Eddie gave him a thumbs up.

* * *

"Mr. and Mrs. Tozier." Dr. Alleyne snuck up on them and they jumped, looking at her. It's been an hour and a half since the nurse had come by. She sat in an empty chair, where Bill had been sitting before he left, and put her hands together. "When I tell you that your son is strong and a fighting boy, I mean it. Surgery like that is very complicated and very risky- there were a few setbacks. Two, actually. Richie flat lined twice during the surgery. The first time was half way into it, the second time was about an hour before we finished."

"Oh my God." Maggie covered her mouth.

"He's stable now and I feel like he'll be making a full recovery in the next few months." She said. Hearing that from the actual surgeon made them all feel a little better about things. "He is in ICU, will be for a week or two. He was having trouble breathing before the surgery- which was a collapsed lung that will heal on its own, but because of the trauma he's been through, he's on a ventilator, he still has a tube in his nose, and we put in a drainage tube to get the blood and other fluids out of his chest."

"When can we see him?" Maggie asked. "I need to see him."

"Visiting hours don't start until ten but… I'll take you and your husband to see him for a few minutes. Only you two now, though, I'm sorry." She said to everyone else, who literally looked ready to fight her. "Trust me, it's not gonna be a pretty sight. We had to restrain him and sedate him because when he woke up he freaked out- which is normal with this type of thing- and tried to take the IV's and tubes out."

"Restrain him… how?"

"There are soft- but strong- cuffs on all the beds that we used. Just for his hands, everything else he can move but I highly doubt he will be for a few days. Come on and I'll take you to see him." Went and Maggie stood up and gave the teens small smiles and followed the doctor. When they reached the door, she stopped with her hand on the doorknob.

"I'm gonna be completely honest here, this is gonna suck." She said. He won't be awake until some time later this morning, and when he is, he might freak out again, be in too much pain to freak out,or just be really upset."

"I want to be in here when you wake him up." Maggie said, matter of factly. "Maybe if he sees me he'll know it's okay." Dr. Alleyne nodded.

"Okay, I don't mean to scare you, but prepare yourselves." She opened the door and walked in, the worried parents following closely. Maggie felt as though she'd collapse right where she was standing if it weren't for Went. Dr. Alleyne wasn't kidding when she said he looked horrible. There were so many tubes and IV's- and upon closer inspection, his right hand was so swollen it looked like it might burst.

The parents studied their son, as much as they possibly could, and hated what they saw. Someone had pulled his hair out of his face with a scrunchie- revealing the bruises and cuts on his face, that were dark blue and purple now. The tube in his nose had a light red tint to what was coming out of his stomach- blood. They could see the rise and fall of his chest, thanks to the ventilator, and could see the chest tube doing it's job, the fluids steadily going through it. He was half way sitting up, and his long legs were bent with the bed.

"Oh, God." Maggie whispered. She slowly walked to her son, gently laying a hand on his left hand and holding it, swiping a few tiny strands that didn't stay in the scrunchie away from his eyes. Went took his other side but didn't grab his hand, instead putting a hand on his shoulder. "I'm so sorry this happened to you, baby." She whispered. She knew he probably couldn't hear her, but it didn't stop her.

Went moved around to the foot of the bed next to the doctor, and unwillingly took a picture of his son. The two women looked at him.

"I want to prepare the kids before they see him in person." He explained. "And Bev texted me and asked me to since they couldn't come back." He took a deep breath and sent it without looking at the picture no more than he had to. The real thing was no better than the picture, though

"What's on his legs?" Maggie asked.

"They keep him from getting blood clots since he won't be getting up and walking anytime soon." She replied.

As the parents asked Dr. Alleyne question after question, the five Losers were crying their eyes out at the sight of their friend in that bed.

"I'm gonna kill him." Eddie cried. "That fucker doesn't deserve to live another day after all he's done."

"Tell me when, I'll help." Ben sniffed.

"We wouldn't make it any better." Stan said, silent tears running down his face. "Killing Bowers wouldn't fix Richie. Let him rot in prison."

"Went better make sure he doesn't see the light of day again." Bev hissed. "I swear if I ever see him again, I'm gonna rip off his-"

"No one needs to rip off anything unless it's Richie doing it himself." Went interrupted. "But believe me, after what that shit head did, he'll get more than a dick ripped off him in prison."

"Ew." Mike muttered.

"Did the doctor say anything else?" Eddie asked as the two sat down with them.

"He's gonna be sedated until some time in the morning." Maggie said.

"He has fifty staples in his stomach." Went said. "We didn't see the actual incision, but we saw the bandage. She said it was about eight inches long, starting at the top of his belly button and ending in the middle of his chest."

"God, I can hear him now." Eddie snorted. "He'll either complain about losing his flawless stomach and chest or he'll talk about a _gnarly_ scar." He shook his head.

"Or talk about his dick." Bev chuckled.

"No." Went put a hand up and she snickered.

"Probably all of the above, knowing him." Stan said. "He'll be back and forth for months."

"Stan, have you let Bill know anything?" Maggie asked. He nodded.

"Yes ma'am. I hate to leave but I'm gonna go soon, go spend the day with him until we come back here."

"Yeah, Maggie and I talked about it on the way here, and as much as she wants to stay here, she needs to got home and try to get some rest, and eat. All of you do."

"But-"

"No, buts, Eddie. Richie will still be here when you get back, and he'll be fine. I'm gonna stay here."

"You kids need to spend time with your family today." Maggie said. Eddie scoffed.

"My mom hasn't even got a tree up. I have a small one in my room, though. The only presents under it is the one Richie got me- which I didn't get a chance to open yesterday- and ones I got the rest of you."

"We'll stop by your house and you can get them, take them over to Bill's. You can have Christmas with us." Stan told him. "And I'm telling you, not asking you."

"Bossy." Eddie muttered.

"Do you need me to bring you anything?" Maggie asked as they all got ready to leave. Went hugged her and pecked her on the lips.

"I'll be fine. If I get hungry or thirsty I have money."

"And if you get cold?"

"I'll ask for a heated blanket. Remember I almost froze to death when Rich was born?" She giggled a little and nodded. "They gave me one that night so I think I'll be able to get another one if I need it."

"Okay. Let me know if anything happens as soon as you find out."

"I will, now go home and get some rest. I'll let you know when visiting hours start up again." She nodded and kissed him again. "I love you."

"I love you too."


	15. Chapter 15

**Richie "talking" was weird to write and understand so I apologize in advance.**

 **You guys can guess all you want about what Maggie and Went have to tell him, but I'm not telling youuuuu. You'll find out in a few chapters XD**

* * *

At ten o'clock sharp, the Losers and Maggie walked into the hospital, meeting Went in the ICU waiting room.

"He has a different doctor today, since it's the other one's day off." He explained immediately. "His name is Dr. Palmer and he told me to wait until ten thirty to go see Richie, because they've gotta change his bandages and clean him up some, then they're gonna wake him up."

"We're allowed back there when they do that, right?" Maggie asked. He nodded.

"I have food." Bill said. "Eat it." He dropped two bags on the table in front of them and Eddie and Stan put drinks next to it.

"I wrote your name on each drink." Stan told them, handing them out as Eddie handed the biscuits out.

"They're all sausage, egg and cheese from Mcdonalds. Two each."

"You didn't have to do that, Sweetie." Maggie said. He shrugged. "Well, thank you."

A few minutes after they finished eating, Dr. Palmer approached them.

"If you'd like to be there when he wakes up, you can head to his room now." The two nodded and made their way to their sons room. A nurse was in there already, talking to him softly.

"Richie, time to wake up, Sweetie." She was saying, and turned to look at them when they came in. She gave them a smile.

"Is that… how you wake them up?" Went asked, confused, because as far as he knows, sedation makes them stay in a deep sleep.

"Yes, usually. He was given just enough to calm him down and make him sleep for a few hours and hasn't been given anymore. His eyes have been moving some, but he hasn't woken up just yet. You can try if you'd like." Went looked at Maggie and nodded to her. She walked around to Richie's other side and leaned against the bed. She gently caressed his cheek.

"Hey baby, it's mama. Can you wake up and show me those pretty eyes?" He moved his head towards her slowly, but didn't open his eyes. "You're friends all really wanna see you, but they can't until you wake up." She pushed some hair off his forehead. "Can I get a cold wash cloth? He's sweaty." She asked the nurse, who nodded and went and grabbed one. Went took the nurses place and poked Richie's ear a few times.

"Wake up you little turd." He said. Richie's eyebrows furrowed.

"Went, stop poking him." Maggie scolded. He stuck his tongue out at her but did as he was told. The nurse handed Maggie the wash cloth and she folded it, placing it on his forehead. His brows furrowed again and his eyes slowly opened. He blinked at her a few times. "Hey baby." She smiled at him. He started to open his mouth as if to reply but couldn't, and his eyes widened. "Hey, it's okay. It's helping you breath right now." He blinked at her. He tried to move his hands and looked down as much as he could and saw the cuffs.

"What?" He mouthed.

"When you woke up after surgery, you started freaking out and tried pulling out the tubes and IV's, so they had to sedate and cuff you." He blinked at his mom again. "Do you remember?"

"No."

"I'm gonna give you guys some privacy, let me know if you need anything." The nurse said and left.

"Dad?" He asked.

"Over there." Richie turned his head to the left so he could see him. Richie gave him a small, crooked grin. A few silent tears ran down Went's face. Richie's brows furrowed once again and then he stuck his tongue out as much as possible. Went laughed. Maggie raised an eyebrow at him.

"He stuck his tongue out at me."

The next hour flew by, Richie was pretty much fully awake and blind, and they started getting texts from the Losers. Maggie ignored them for now while Went replied to them.

"Eyes." Richie mouthed. Maggie made a face.

"What?"

"Eyes." He repeated. She shrugged a little and he blew air through his nose, irritated. He closed his eyes for a few seconds and then opened them.

"Went what is he trying to say." Richie turned his head towards his dad and mouthed eyes again.

"Eyes." Went said.

"Eyes?" She made a face. "Oh. OH! You're glasses okay hang on." Richie sighed and rolled his eyes. "I need glasses." She muttered to herself as she put them on Richie. He nodded in agreement.

* * *

Meanwhile, Bev and Eddie were walking around the floor, looking for a vending machine because they both wanted some chocolate.

"So…" Bev started.

"Oh God, what?"

"What did you and Richie talk about yesterday?" She asked, wiggling her eyebrows. Eddie blushed and looked away.

"Nothing."

"Mhm. Sureeee."

"Do you… do you know that he's… bi?" He asked. Bev nodded.

"I haven't known long, though." She said, "Oh, there's a vending machine. I've known since our audition. We were about to leave when someone yelled faggot at him and I think he said it takes one to know one and then freaked a little bit. He broke down and told me, thinking I hated him for lying about it."

"He was trying to tell me and was stuttering and fumbling with his words, and then asked me it was that hard to come out. I was like what the fuck and he told me he was bi and I kissed him." Bev gasped and squealed, clapping her hands. "Shhh! We're in a hospital." Eddie scolded.

"Sorry. Oh my God, do you have any idea how long I've been waiting for you two to get your shit together?" She asked, finally putting a dollar in and punching the numbers. Eddie scoffed.

"With my luck, it was probably just the pain talking or drugs or something. He probably doesn't remember us kissing."

"Bull shit." She huffed, slapping him lightly with her candy bar. "That boy loves you, he told me so." Eddie just shrugged.

* * *

"When can you take the straps off his wrists?" Went asked the nurse, Donna, when she came in to check his blood pressure.

"Well," She put a hand on her hip and looked at Richie. "If you promise not to try and take out your IV's and tubes, I'll take them off." She told him.

"Promise." He tried to say.

"Okay." She unhooked them from him and he lifted his arms as much as he could, flinching at the pain in his shoulder. His left hand immediately went for his right, where the IV was. "Hey now-" She started, but he just scratched around the tape and let out a satisfied sigh. "Were you itching, Sweetie?"

"Yeah." He looked at his hands and his eyes widened when he saw how much bigger his right hand was. "What the fuck."

"It happens with patients who don't or can't move much. It's normal. Do you want me to switch sides?"

"Will it help his hand?" Maggie asked. Donna nodded.

"Yes, it should return to normal size in a few hours." She left and came back, switching arms with a new IV. "I'll be back soon, but if you need me, just press that button okay?" The parents nodded and Richie gave a thumbs up.

"Wait, how many visitors can he have?" Went asked.

"How many visitors are waiting?" She asked.

"Uh…" Went counted on his fingers. "Six."

"Well, usually only two can come back, but since he's doing so good already, I'll allow four at a time."

"Okay, thank you."

"You're welcome. Merry Christmas." She left with a smile.

Richie blew air through his nose again and took his glasses off, throwing them on the bed in front of him, covering his eyes with one hand. The two turned to him.

"What's wrong?" Went asked. Richie waved him off and moved his hand, closing his eyes and turning his head away from them. Maggie looked at Went and mouthed Christmas in the hospital. "Oh."

"Richie baby, look at me, please." Richie turned to her after a couple seconds, tears rolling down his cheeks. "Oh, Richie." She cooed. She moved the rag off his forehead and used it to wipe at his tears. "I know it sucks being in the hospital, everything that's happened to you sucks and I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I didn't notice how much of a hard time you've been having either. We're gonna make it up to you, I promise. When you get out of here, we're gonna do whatever you want- within limits because you don't want to hurt yourself, you know?" Richie blinked at her. "But when you're one hundred percent, we'll do whatever you want, okay?" Richie nodded.

"Hold on, now." Went held a finger up and the two looked at him, eyebrows raised in such a similar way it was freaky. "Do I have a say in this?"

"No." They said, Richie mouthing the word. He snorted and nodded.

"I'm kidding, either way. Of course we're gonna do whatever you want. Within limits for the both of you." Went gave her a look and she glared. Richie looked between the two of them, a weird look on his face. He held a hand up and waved it slowly, catching their attention.

"What is it, baby?" He moved his hands together as if he was writing on something, one hand being paper and pretending he had a pen. "You want to write?" She asked. He nodded. She dug through her bag and found a note pad and a pink ink pen. She handed it to him and he put the notepad on his thigh and wrote sloppily, pretty far off from his usual handwriting.

 _actin weird? Smthn ur not tellin me?_

"Uh, no?" Went said. Richie gave him a look and he snickered. Went looked at Maggie, who rolled her eyes at him.

"Yeah, there is something we haven't told you, but we want to wait until you at least don't have that down your throat." She waited for an eyebrow wiggle and laughed when she got one. "And you can talk, because I think you'll be very excited." He stuck his tongue out a little as he wrote.

"You know what, here." Went grabbed the rolling table, made it as tall as he could and moved it over top of Richie so he could write easier. Richie grinned at him and wrote.

 _Wht if i fin out b4 u tell me?_

"Well, you might have an aneurysm." Went replied.

 _Well shit._

* * *

"Went said only four visitors can go back so we need to try and form a plan to all sneak back there." Bev said, reading the texts to the rest of the Losers.

"I don't know, Bev." Eddie said, biting his lip. "There's a reason there's a limit in the ICU. We're all loud people, and there's really really sick people back there. People are probably dying back there, I don't want to be disrespectful." Bev sighed, nodding.

"Good point. I'm sorry, I just miss us all together."

"We'll all be able to see him together when they put him in a regular room." Ben told her, squeezing her arm comfortingly. She nodded. Her phone buzzed and she lit up.

"Went said that he has to leave for a little while to handle lawyer business, and he said that Richie is asking for me, Stan and Eddie."

"Wow, I feel loved." Bill deadpanned. Stan smacked him.

"I'm sure he wants to see all of you. It's probably hard to choose between us, we're all amazing." Stan said, grinning.

"We all know why he wants to see Eddie." Ben said.

"You do?" Eddie squeaked.

"Uh, yeah? It's not that hard to figure it out." Eddie's eyes almost popped out of his head. "You and him are joined at the hip, dude. You're his best friend. After Stan, of course." Eddie let out the breath he'd been holding and bit at his fingernails. "What'd you think I was talking about?"


	16. Chapter 16

**I am very very sorry for the two month hiatus I guess you could say, I've had a lot going, I still have a lot going on, but I hope to be able to update this more because I've been on a bit of a Reddie phase if you will XD XD.**

 **I know it's a bit rushed but honestly when my brother was in the hospital it's like life was kinda rushed so lmao. Y'all got any weird stories or weird phrases Richie could say while doped up on meds once he's off the ventilator?**

 **P.S. How y'all like that ending? I didn't know how to end it so there you go XD**

* * *

The group of three passed Went on their way to Richie's room, and he stopped to talk to them, grinning at the balloons and giant stuffed bear they all pitched in to get him. They'd also got him a card that everyone signed.

"He looks bad- which you saw in the picture last night, but he's awake and his spirits are up, all things considered. Just don't mention Christmas- it'll upset him." Went told them.

"Okay." They agreed. Went gave them a smile.

"I'll be back a little later." They nodded and continued on their way. They looked at each other as Stan knocked on the door- and opened it.

"Fuck." Eddie whispered upon seeing him. He did look bad, and he looked exhausted- but it didn't stop the smile that popped up on his face when he saw them.

"Hey guys." Maggie greeted, using a small sponge to drip water into Richie's dry mouth. She chuckled when his eyes crossed as the water went into his mouth.

"You look horrible." Stan deadpanned. Richie stared at him for a second, not caring about the water dripping out of his mouth. He lifted a hand up and flipped him the bird. Stan chuckled. The group moved closer to him, Bev standing next to Maggie and the boys on the other side. Richie picked up his pen and wrote something on the notepad, holding it up for him to see.

 _F U bird boy_

"Nah, I'm good." Richie narrowed his eyes at him. They softened as they moved to Eddie, and then onto Bev, who had started crying. She was hugging the stuffed bear tightly. Richie dropped the notepad immediately and reached for her, making grabby hands at her. He was very annoyed that he couldn't talk, but at least he wasn't like, dead, right? But he couldn't comfort his best friend like he wanted to. His brows furrowed when she looked at him.

"Don't look at me like that. You almost died Richie!" she cried, dropping the bear and grabbing his good hand, practically kneeling by the bed, resting her forehead on his wrist. He squeezed her hand tightly and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to stop the newly forming tears from falling. He shook her hand until she looked up at her, and gave her his best smile, though, considering there was a tube down his throat, wasn't his best. But he tried, and it got her to smile a little. Stan and Eddie too.

"Bev, do you still have his phone?" Maggie asked. Bev stood up and let go with one hand, taking it out of her back pocket. "He asked me if I had it." Bev nodded and handed the phone to Richie. He gave her an apologetic look and let go of her hand, using both of his to unlock his phone and go to an app. He typed for a couple minutes, pressed a button, and a robotic voice filled the room,

"Doctor said I'll be okay. I feel okay. Awesome scar, hell yes."

The group couldn't help but laugh at the fact that he used google translate of all things to talk. "Ha ha ha ha ha ha." they laughed harder at that.

"You're so silly." Maggie said, brushing a few curls out of his face.

"Stop crying before I cry." Richie "said"

"You're already crying, dip shit." Eddie rolled his eyes. Richie looked at him and made a face. He typed something on his phone and instead of pressing play, he just handed the phone to Eddie.

 _Did i like come out to you and we kissed or am i that fucked up_

"You did, and yes." Eddie told him, a light blush creeping up his neck. The same happened to Richie, but it was much more obvious.

"Oh, what just happened here?" Maggie asked, eyebrow raised.

"Nothing!" Richie typed immediately. Eddie nodded in agreement.

"Sure…" she drawled. Richie typed on his phone again and showed Eddie, a dopey little grin on his face.

 _Can we do it agin smtime?_

"If you learn to spell, maybe." Eddie replied, and gave him a wink. Richie let out a small sigh.

"How long til this shit's out my mouth?" Richie asked.

"So…" Maggie put a hand on Richie's good shoulder. "A lot happened on the inside, Richie." He raised an eyebrow at her. "When you're a little more… sane, I'll get into the nitty gritty details, but… you're a lucky boy." She gave him a small smile. "You're so strong, all things considered."

"You're a fighter." Stan said. "If I were in your position, I don't think I'd make it." Richie glared at him.

"Bullshit, mother fucker." Stan chuckled.

"Really, Rich. You've got what, like fifty staples _in_ you right now." Richie made a face and looked at his mom, who nodded.

"Well fuck."

"But the point is, you were in a real mess." Maggie told him, taking a wet rag and wiping at his face. He didn't complain. "Before the surgery, you were having trouble breathing. Do you remember?" He nodded. "One of your lungs collapsed. And obviously, in surgery they've got to help you breathe because of anesthesia, and then they had to sedate you and… you can't really breathe on your own right now. You can, but it'd be really hard and would be very painful, according to what one of the nurses told me."

"Wow. He really fucked me up."

"He did. And I want you to know that your dad went and beat the shit out of _his_ dad."

"Go dad."

"Do you know if they even got Henry in custody yet?" Bev asked.

"That's why Went left." Maggie explained. "He got a call and Henry is currently sitting in a jail cell with a _broken nose_ , black eye and a fat lip."

"Do you remember _anything_ from what happened, Richie?" Eddie asked. Richie started typing on his phone. Instead of letting it speak for him, he handed it to Stan to le thim read it out.

"I remember sitting at the playground down the street from Eddie's house, and there were like, rabbits or something, playing and I was recording them, and then Henry started talking shit and I talked shit right back. I put my phone on the ground, still recording but the screen was black. It probably stopped on it's own but it might have gotten some stuff." Stan read, and gave Richie his phone back.

"Are you okay with us listening to it?" Maggie asked. Richie shrugged and grimaced. "Are you okay?" she asked quickly. He nodded and typed,

 _My shoulder is kind of sore but I'm okay._

"Do you want me to get a nurse?" she asked. He shook his head. "Are you sure?" He nodded. He messed with his phone for a few seconds and turned the volume up, and then held his phone out to them. Maggie and Bev moved to the other side and Eddie held the phone, and they looked at it over his shoulder. Eddie pressed play.

 _Richie's face showed on the screen, red and blotchy. He'd been crying._

" _Oh shit, that's me." he muttered and quickly turned the camera._

The four laughed a little at that.

 _For about thirty seconds, all there was was the rabbits, and suddenly, Henry's voice could be heard._

" _Well, well, well, what do we have here? Why up so early on Christmas Eve, Bucky?"_

 _Richie let out a sigh and put his phone on the ground, the screen going black but the audio could be heard._

They listened to it and when the part where Henry called him a fag and Richie pretty much admitted to it, Richie snatched the phone from Eddie and stopped it.

"That wasn't all, Richie." Maggie said, confused. He just shook his head again.

"Can you and Stan step out for a minute?" Eddie asked the two.

"Why?" Stan asked.

"We need to talk to Richie for a minute. It won't take long." Bev told them. Stan raised his brows but nodded. Richie wouldn't look at them. Maggie sighed, and she and Stan walked out of the room. Bev and Eddie stood on either side of Richie, who wouldn't look at them.

"Chee… not to burst your bubble but… you definitely just made it obvious that you were gay- bi, but they don't know that." Richie lifted his eyes and glared at him. "You did! But Richie, I'm the gayest mother fucker in this town. Our friends, and your parents accept me. They'll accept you too. And they won't be mad at you for "lying" because you're not lying."

"I mean come on, Rich, we didn't know Stan was gay until he and Bill got caught making out. He wasn't exactly ready to tell everyone else just yet but he didn't think he was lying." Bev told him.

"It's a normal thing to be scared, Chee." Eddie said, "Not many people around here are accepting, but we are. All of us are. We love you for you, and no one will be mad at you. If you were to tell Stan and Maggie when they come back in, I'm one hundred percent sure they'd hug you and tell you they love you."

"Are you positive?" Richie asked. Eddie damn near wanted to cry because of how Richie looked up at him.

"Completely. I promise, Chee." Eddie leaned down and pressed a kiss to the corner of Richie's mouth. Bev let out a tiny squeal and they looked at her, Eddie's eyebrows raised and Richie with a tired grin.

"I'm sorry, you two are so much cuter than I thought you'd be." Eddie rolled his eyes at that and turned back to Richie.

"Do you want to tell them?" he asked. Richie nodded, but typed on his phone.

"Will you tell them? I don't want it to come from this fucking thing."

"Are you sure?" Eddie asked. Richie nodded again. Bev went to the door and opened it, looking to see if the two were outside, and they were a few feet away, talking. She motioned for them to come back in. They did, and didn't say anything, waiting for someone to speak.

"So… Richie has something he wants me to tell you, because he doesn't wanna tell you through the phone." Eddie started.

"Okay…" Maggie raised an eyebrow and Stan crossed his arms.

"He is convinced that you're going to be mad at him, because he feels like he's been lying to you, but I wouldn't count this as a lie."

"You didn't have to say all that now." Richie said. Eddie looked back at him and he gave him a look. Eddie chuckled and shrugged. The highly drugged teen closed his eyes as Eddie told them.

"Oh well. Anyways, Richie is bisexual."

"That's it?" Stan asked, letting his arms fall to his sides. "Is that what you were talking about when you said you were the biggest liar?" Richie peeked an eye open and looked at them. They didn't look mad.

"Goddammit, Richie." Maggie huffed. "I thought it was actually something bad!"

"What?" he typed. "And yeah Stanford."

"That is _not_ my name."

"Autocorrect."

"You two aren't mad at him, are you?" Bev asked.

"Hell no. Richie, Sweetie, I don't give two shits about who you love, boys, girls or both. As long as you're happy, that's all that really matters."

"I'm a little irritated that I'm just now finding this out, all things considered." Stan said, "But I'm not angry at you."

Richie smiled, relief obvious in his features.

"Thank you." he typed. Maggie kissed him on the forehead, resting her head on top of his for a moment.

"I love you, baby. And you're dad loves you. All of us do. And he won't be mad, I promise." Richie nodded, closing his eyes.

Bev's phone went off a few times and she looked at it, seeing the other three boys in the waiting room had spammed the group chat wondering when they could come see Richie.

"Hey, Rich?" Bev asked quietly. He opened his eyes and looked at her. "Mike, Bill and Ben really want to see you. Do you want to nap first or let them come see you? We'd have to leave for them to come back."

"Only four people can be back here at a time." Eddie added. He closed his eyes again for a second, before typing again.

"Are you staying at hospital?" he asked.

"If you want us to, we sure damn will. I know I'm not going anywhere." Stan said. "I may not be able to stay with you the whole time I'm here, but I'm not leaving. I want to talk to the doctor myself." Richie smiled a little at that.

"You don't have to stay all day. You can go home. We can text in chat."

"He's right, you shouldn't stay all day. He's probably gonna pass right back out after the other three see him." Maggie said. "They're giving him another dose of his meds in like thirty minutes, according to that chart."

There was a chart with the nurses name, a medicine schedule underneath it.

"True. Well, Richie, I'm staying as long as your parents are staying, obviously." Bev told him, holding his hand. "But I'm going to sit in the waiting room down the hall, okay? I saw it on the way here." Bev told the others. They all nodded. "I'll see you later, Sweets." she kissed the top of his head and stood by the door, waiting for Stan and Eddie. They said their goodbyes, and when no one was looking, Eddie quickly kissed Richie's cheek, before rushing out of the room. While the three made their way to the waiting room, Maggie went to the sink and cleaned the rag from early out, squeezing the water out and going back over to Richie and started wiping gently at his face. He closed his eyes as she did so, relaxing just a bit. She spotted some dried blood near his ear, close to his hairline and went for it as the rest of the Losers walked in.

Ben _literally_ started sobbing the second he saw Richie, so Richie grabbed the rag from his mom and threw it at Ben's head.


	17. Chapter 17

**Literally y'all, my brother was put in the hospital on a Saturday morning, and he was home that Friday and already going out to hang with his friends. Obviously it's different for Richie, as he won't be out having fun and going out yet, but he may or may not be going home soon. We'll just have to see!**

 **I've said it once, all this happening is just what I remember from the time my brother was in the hospital, so if something isn't medically correct, just know that I'm going to be 19 in like a week, and this happened like four years ago.**

* * *

 **December 27, 2017**

After Bill, Ben and Mike visited Richie on Christmas, he was given his medicine and has been in and out of it since. He was mainly out of it, being somewhat awake when there was a visitor. Everyone took turns visiting him, and they eventually had to go back down to two, because his blood pressure would go up a little too much for the doctors and nurses liking.

But what they were happy with, and everyone else, Richie's vitals were improving _so_ much quicker than they had expected, and last night they lowered the dosage for one medicine- the one that made him sleep so much, which he wasn't particularly happy about.

He still had a tube in his nose and the drainage tube going into his chest, but when the Toziers, Eddie and Bev walked into Richie's room at exactly ten o'clock sharp, Richie was no longer hooked up to the ventilator- the tube was out _already_ and he was happily sipping on a cup of water, a nurse holding it for him, hugging a pillow. He still looked exhausted, the bruises were darker and more prominent, but he was getting better all the same.

"Holy shit." Went said. Richie had a small, dopey grin on his face as he and the nurse turned towards them.

"I didn't know they'd be taking it out today!" Maggie said, rushing over to her son and placing her hands on his cheeks.

"Yeah, the last day or so we turned off the ventilator for a little bit at a time to see if he could breathe on his own, and we tried overnight and everything went great! Dr. Alleyne took it out about fifteen minutes ago." Richie just nodded in agreement. "As for the tube in his nose, we'll probably take it out around eleven thirty or twelve, and then he can eat something." Richie nodded again, not really paying attention. He coughed a little, hugging the pillow tighter.

"Edsssss!" Richie croaked, pointing at him. "Bevsssss!"

"Oh God, he's on drug drugs, isn't he?" Bev asked as she and Eddie walked over to Richie, who grinned at them.

"Yeah." The nurse laughed. "Morphine is a powerful drug. We'll lower the dose every few doses, before prescribing pain medicine for him to go home with."

"When _do_ you think he'll be able to go home?" Went asked.

"He's doing so much better than we thought he would be. Everything's healing fine, very quickly. Honestly, I'm thinking around New Years, or a few days after if he keeps it up."

"I've missed your voice." Maggie whispered to her son.

"I missed you too, mama." he smiled at her sweetly.

"Dr. Alleyne is correct, Richie is a strong, fighting young man. He won't go down without a fight. I've never seen anything like this."

"You hear that, you shithead?" Eddie asked Richie, poking his forehead. Richie looked up at him. "You're strong, and a fighter. You better be home by New Years, got it?"

"Sir yes sir." Richie saluted him with a dopey grin. Eddie chuckled. Bev snapped a picture of them and happily sent it to the group chat.

(10:13 AM) Mammy Bev- (Picture of Reddie)  
(10:13) Mammy Bev- Guysssss look who is breathing on his own!

(10:13) Mammy Bev- I'm a proud little sister.

(10:15) Billy Bill- holy actual shit when did they take him off the ventilator?

(10:15) Stan the man- omfg

(10:16) Pappy Ben- holy siht

(10:17) Mammy Bev- they took it out right before we got here. A nurse was helping him drink some water and i've never seen him look happier.

(10:18) Dickard- (Selfie of him sticking his tongue out and a peace sign, the tube in his nose making him slightly sillier than he usually would have)

(10:18) Dickard- wssup fuckrs i drank the water for first time 2day

(10:19) Dickard- y yall not tell me it was so AGGOD

(10:19) Spagheds- he's also on morphine so he's fucked up rn

(10:19) Spagheds- also- "the water"

Spagheds changed Richie Tozier's name to "The Water"

(10:20) The Water- woah wtf tat was cool edsss

(10:21) Spagheds- thank

(11:37) Mikey (Our Fav)- HOLY SHIT HOW DID I MISS THIS IM SORRY I'M SO FUCKING HAPPY

(11:38) The Water- goddammit mike you scared the shit outta me

(11:28) The Water- why you screm

(11:30_ Mikey (Our Fav)- cause i'm HAPPY. I will be there in fifteen minutes prepare for a kiss on the mouth.

(11:31) The Water- yeS PLEAsE i'd rather eddie tho, no offence.

(11:31) The Water- oh fuck i'm too drugged for this PLEASE ignore that last message.

"I'm the biggest idiot." Richie said as the nurse gently took his phone from his hand and put it at the end of the bed.

"Why?" Bev asked.

"Look at the group chat." As the medicine wore off, he slowly sobered up, but he definitely blamed the morphine for that text. Maggie and Eddie had gone to do whatever they had to do, he wasn't sure, so it was just Bev in the room with him.

"I wouldn't say it's gonna hurt, but it's not gonna feel good." Martha said. Good ole Martha was back and taking care of Richie. He thought each nurse had their own section of the hospital but maybe not. She gently took the tape from around his nose and started to pull the tube out of his nose. He tried to be still as possible but good God it was not a good feeling. Ever had a nose swab for a sinus infection at the doctor's office? Imagine that, but a million times worse. "Almost done, Sweetie." he let out the weirdest noise when she was done and Bev couldn't help but burst out laughing.

"You are cruel, cruel people." Richie said, sniffing and wiping at his nose. Martha chuckled.

"Only to help you. The only other thing we'll be taking out is the chest tube. That's what's gonna hurt."  
"Wow, that makes me feel so much better." Richie deadpanned.

"You can't put him to sleep for that?" Bev asked. Martha shook her head.

"No, not unless we can't get it out. If we can't get it out, we'd have to cut him again, but that's rare. Or in cases where the patient can _not_ handle the pain."

"I'm a tough cookie, I can handle it." Richie said. "When are you doing it, 'cause I want my mom when you do." Bev chuckled at that.

Richie started coughing pretty hard, hugging the pillow. After a few seconds he made grabby hands for the now empty cup. Bev handed it to him and he spit into it, making a face.

"Why is it red? I thought the tube would get rid of all the blood." Bev asked.

"It's normal with this type of thing. He'll be coughing up a good bit of stuff for a is why he has the pillow because it helps to not pull at the staples and kind of distract him from pain."

"It sucks." Richie croaked.

"I know, I'm sorry Sweetie." Martha told him, patting his good shoulder.

* * *

"We're taking his chest tube out today too. I'm still amazed by how fast he's healing and getting better." Martha told Maggie.

"Oh, okay. When will you be doing it?"

"Dr. Alleyne will be in shortly, and we'll take it out." Martha said. "It shouldn't be too long, she's just down the hall."

"Okay, thank you." Martha left the room and Richie looked at Bev.

"Did you read the chat?" he asked.

"I did." she replied, nodding. "I spammed them with pictures of you as she was taking the tube out so they wouldn't see it. You make some very interesting faces." he rolled his eyes but said,

"Thank you."

"What happened?" Maggie asked.

"Richie outed himself in the chat." Eddie said, walking in. "Mike told him to prepare for a kiss on the mouth and Richie was like he'd rather kiss me and then said something about being too drugged to function or some shit."

"Do you think he's really gonna kiss me cause like… I haven't brushed my teeth. For longer than you might think."

"I doubt it. I have never seen Mike kiss _anyone_ before." Bev said. "So don't worry about it."

Mike didn't kiss him on the lips, but he kissed his cheeks and forehead until Richie cried.

"Hey, I didn't hurt you did I?" Mike asked, backing away from him. Richie shook his head. "I'm just really happy you're getting better."

"I'm fine." Richie sniffed. "Happy."

"Awe." Bev cooed.

'Good afternoon! There are only supposed to be two people here." Dr. Alleyne sing-songed as she walked in. "How's everyone doing today- you okay, Richie?" Richie nodded, wiping his eyes with the backs of his hands.

"Yeah." he sniffed. "I'm not about to be though, am I?" he raised an eyebrow at her.

"I'm afraid not. But hey, at least you have some cheerleaders to cheer you on!"

Richie just shrugged one shoulder and smiled a little.

* * *

"Mother fucking fuck I hate you people." Richie hissed, the second he knew the tube was out. "Fuck all y'all."

"I know, I know, I hate us too." Dr. Alleyne said. "I'm sorry sweetie, at least the worst part's over with!" Richie glared at her.

"If I could move my arms or legs right now, and if you were a man, I'd hit you."

"Richie!" Maggie scolded.

"That shit _hurt_!" he shrieked.

"It's okay, Mrs. Tozier." Dr. Alleyne assured her. "Believe me, that was probably the softest threat I've gotten when dealing with patients like this."

"Richie's a softie don't let those eyebrows fool you." Bev said. Richie glared at her as Martha stitched the hole in his side where the tube had been. Maggie and Eddie were holding Richie's hands as he squeezed them, and Bev and Mike were pretty much laying on his legs. It was just a precaution with the legs, he hadn't actually tried to kick anyone.

"Can I get up and walk some or am I gonna be stuck here for another thousand days?" Richie asked Dr. Alleyne once Martha was done and he was back on his back, sitting somewhat comfortably.

"Well, do you feel like getting up and trying to walk some?"

"Yeah, my ass is getting flatter than it already is with every second I'm sitting. Plus it hurts like a bitch and I've gotta pee."

"Wanna use this-" Dr. Alleyne held up one of those pee jug things. "Or try and walk to the bathroom?"

"Bathroom." Richie replied. Martha nodded and untangled him from everything, unplugging the box his IV was connected to and rolled it out of his way so he could get up. She threw the covers up over his knees and undid the compressions on his legs. After she moved the pillows from under his legs, he stretched them out a bit as she put the railing down on one side of the bed.

"I'm going to help him sit up, will you boys help him stand?" she asked. Mike and Eddie nodded. Maggie and Bev stood near the head of the bed as Martha helped Richie sit up and scoot to the edge of the bed, all while keeping his goodies hidden. His words. Mike stood on Richie's good side because he was scared he'd hurt him, and Eddie on the other. They pulled him up easily and let him stand for a few minutes.

Bev took a picture of them and sent it to the group chat.

(12:45 pm) Mammy Bev- look at our boy taking his first steps!

(12:46) Pappy Ben- omg I'm so proud

"Okay.. I'm ready to… go. Gonna piss...myself." Richie panted.

"You sure?" Eddie asked. Richie nodded. The two holding him up looked at each other and nodded, and the three slowly made their way to the bathroom down the hall.


	18. Chapter 18

**Once again I'm doing things similar to what happened to my brother. As in a Facebook post or two from mother of the year, Maggie Tozier! Of course she'd update family and friends on Facebook. What 30 something year old mom wouldn't at this point?**

* * *

Dr. Alleyne and Martha both watched the three boys as they walked down the hall, looking at each other in awe. It's rare for them to see someone walking around so soon after such a life threatening surgery, _especially_ as young as he is.

"This'll make it on the news, or somewhere, someone will be talking about it." Dr. Alleyne said. Martha nodded in agreement.

"Do you need to like… sit to pee?" Eddie asked.

"I ain't no bitch." Richie muttered." I ain't that fucked up… I don't think." he added. Eddie snorted.

"You're kind of… super fucked up." Eddie said.

"Shut up."

"You know one of us has to stay with you, right?" Mike said. "Don't need you falling and hurting yourself anymore."

"I don't care, man, I just gotta pee." Richie whined.

They both ended up staying, turning around so they wouldn't see anything, but close by in case he started to fall.

"Don't look at my ass please." Richie muttered as he started to pee.

"We've seen your ass already, Rich." Mike chuckled.

"My clean… ass, yeah. I haven't washed in days."

"I know you'll be glad to take a shower." Mike said.

"Yes."

"I'll be glad too." Eddie snickered, waiting for the reply.

"Bitch." Mike laughed and shook his head. Richie finished his business and pulled his hospital gown back down. He grabbed the IV pole and slowly moved to the sink, gripping the porcelain, looking at his beaten and battered face.

"You done?" Eddie asked, glancing back at him.

"Yeah." Richie sniffed. He turned the water on and washed his hands. "Can someone go... ask if I can put underwear... on now?" Eddie nodded and left the bathroom. Mike put a careful arm around Richie and rested his chin on Richie's shoulder.

"I saw those messages in the chat." Mike muttered quietly. "Bev wasn't fast enough with the spamming."

"I, uh…" Richie's cheeks turned red.

"I don't want to straight up ask you if but if you and Eddie are a thing, I'm one hundred percent cool with it. With you being… gay. If you are…?"

"We're… we're not." Richie said. "I don't know… what we are. And I… I'm bi. He just found out when… I thought I was actually… gon-gonna die."

"Ah, okay well… that's cool. Not the thinking you were gonna die part… but, yeah." Richie smirked a little.

Eddie came back into the bathroom loudly, making Richie jump and grimace.

"Sorry. I got your underwear though. It's clean."

"Well I'd hope so." Richie mumbled. "Thanks, Eds." he smiled a little, then frowned. "I'm gonna need help."

"Just hold onto Mike and I'll help you get your feet in them." Eddie told him. Richie nodded and put his hands on Mike's shoulders and lifted each leg. Eddie pulled them up enough for Richie to be able to reach and he finished pulling them up.

"Better." Richie said. "Fuck, who knew taking… a piss and… putting underwear on would be… so fucking… tiring."

"Yeah, you are getting pale… er." Mike said. Richie glared at him and he chuckled. The two put their arms around him and Eddie grabbed the IV pole and they made their way back to the room.

"Took you guys long enough." Bev joked.

"Look, I got… a whole ass row of… staples… _in me_ Bev." Richie puffed out, sitting on the bed. "I'm a fucken stapler, Bev. That's…. What I'ma be for… for Halloween."

"Eddie can be the staple remover." Maggie suggested. Richie choked on his spit and started coughing painfully, hugging a pillow. Eddie turned beet red and Bev cackled. "I'm so confused." Maggie chuckled.

Bev just laughed harder.

* * *

"Who's ready to try and eat some chicken broth? Or well, _drink_ it." Martha announced as she made her way into the room, holding a Styrofoam cup. Richie kind of cringed at it. "I know you're not really hungry, but as soon as you finish this cup of broth, you'll be moved out of ICU and into a regular room."

"But that means… I won't see you any… more."

"Nah, I'm gonna come and check in on you." Martha told him, handing him the cup. She looked at his parents, Bev and Eddie. Mike left not long after the bathroom trip, promising to come back later as it was lunch time at the farm. "Make sure he doesn't drink too fast. Someone come and get me when he's done. They're getting his room ready now." she gave Richie a look and he gave her a thumbs up and took a sip of the broth as she walked out.

"How is it?" Went asked.

"Not bad." Richie said, drinking a little more.

"Don't drink too fast, Richie." Eddie told him.

"I'm _not_ Spaghetti." Richie replied. Maggie took a picture of Richie as he put the cup up to his lips again, a dopey grin on his face.

Like the mother she is, she posted the photo and any others she took- and some Bev took- on Facebook, having made multiple posts over the last few days, updating family and friends on his condition.

 ** _Maggie Tozier_**

 _Richie is off the ventilator and breathing on his own now! He got the nose tube and chest tube out today too, which were both painful, but he's a strong boy. He was able to get up and walk a little, pictured below, and now is drinking some chicken broth! First thing he's eaten in days, so I know he's happy! Once he finishes his cup, he'll be moved out of ICU and into the room, if you want to come and visit, text or message me and I'll tell you the hospital and room number. Thanks everyone for the prayers and/or thoughts of our baby boy!_

She tagged Went, Richie and his friends in the post and threw her phone in her bag.

"Did you just update _the Facebook_?" Richie asked. She glared at him and didn't say anything for a few seconds.

"Yes." she replied. He snorted. "You're never gonna let me live that down, are you?"

"What, _the Facebook_?" Went asked. "Neither of us are."

"Oh shut up… dad. You called Snapchat… Chot Snap."

"Hey, you're supposed to be on my side, child." Went retorted. Richie snickered and drank some more broth.

"Oh, speaking of social media." Richie muttered, grabbing his phone and putting the cup on the table. He took a selfie and messed on his phone a little.

"Is that you're "famous" account?" Eddie asked.

"Yes." Richie replied.

"Can we see it yet?" Bev asked.

"Uh…" Richie bit his lip. "You know what? Yeah. I'll send the name to… the group chat."

"Seriously?" Eddie asked. Richie nodded and then he and Bev got a few notifications.

(2:12 PM) The Water- guys don't laugh at my username I did this so you wouldn't know it was me cus ik you guys like to snoop and will find shit.

(2:12) The Water- trashtiddy is my Instagram account that I haven't let you guys see.

(2:13) Billy Bill- oh shit really?

(2:13) The Water- yeah

(2:13) The Water- I had it private so if you followed you wouldn't get accepted. No offence. It's not privat anymore

(2:15) The Water- there's a lot of random shit and a lot of depressing shit and me hopelessly pining over someonE so. Yeah. Also. I'm bi.

(2:15) Pappy Ben- awe that's awesome, Rich! We support you :D

(2:15) Billy Bill- Nice. I'ma go stalk your account now.

"I know you did not." Eddie said. Richie threw his phone at the end of the bed like it burned him.

"I did."

"Richie!" Bev laughed. He grabbed the cup and took a sip.

"What did he do?" Went asked. Bev and Eddie looked at Richie, who's eyes widened a little. He nodded towards the door and the two stood up.

"We'll be right back." Bev said. "Going to the gift shop. I saw some cute shirts." she grabbed Eddie's hand and yanked him out of the room.

"Did she say cute shirts? What the hell?" Went asked, making a face.

"Do you want me to stay too or?" Maggie asked her son.

"Stay, yeah." he said, putting his cup back down and clasping his hands together.

"What is it? Did you get someone pregnant?" Went narrowed his eyes slightly.

"Uh, no, but if I did… Would you like… kick me out or something?" Richie asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

"No. I'd be pissed but I wouldn't _let_ you leave." Went said. Maggie snickered.

"Okay, well, no, I didn't… get someone pregnant. I've never had a girlfriend… or boyfriend before."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. You're telling me-" Richie braced himself. "That you and Eddie aren't dating?"

Richie opened his eyes and stared at his dad, who looked absolutely bewildered.

"What the actual fuck. No boyfriend my ass, you two act like an old married couple!" Maggie giggled to herself at her husbands reaction, giving her son a knowing look.

Went and Richie stared at each other for a solid thirty seconds before Richie burst into tears. Maggie let out a little noise and stood up, rushing over to him to comfort him.

"What is it baby?" she asked, pulling him into her arms.

"I'm s-sorry." he cried. "I didn't… I thought you'd hate me." he said to Went.

"The fu- I could never hate you, son." Went said, joining the hug, rubbing up and down Richie's good shoulder. "I love you and I accept you for who you are. I always will, unless you get a tattoo on your forehead, then I'd have to beat your ass." Richie chuckled wetly.

"No, no tattoos on my face. Promise." The family of three stayed like that for a few minutes and Richie calmed down enough, shaking them off.

"I gotta… make a post… on Instagram that's… what I was trying to do... got sidetracked, now I'm a baby." Maggie rolled her eyes at her son and handed him his phone. They sat back down on the couch and Richie took another selfie, his face red and eyes still wet with tears.

 _Hello fuckers, it's me trashtiddy. I'm only going to say a few things. My name is Richie, I'm in ICU because I got my ass beat (will give more info on that in a live soon) and I came out to three friends today and my dad. Which is why I'm crying ha. (My three other friends found out over the last few days). I still have six friends. Six whole, beautiful friends that I will love forever. That's all. Bye._


	19. Chapter 19

**Okay so, this was gonna mostly gonna be angst but like… things changed? We've got some but if you ask me, the rest is adorable and informative in a way. Research is difficult when you're bad at it, so don't judge my medical equipment skills, I'm not The Edward Kaspbrak ya know.**

* * *

"Richie, I'm about t-to walk out the d-d-door to come see you. Can I b-bring Georgie now? He really w-wa-wants to see you." Bill said through the speaker.

"Uh, I don't know hang on," Richie replied and looked at his mom. "Is Georgie allowed... to come see me now? Since... I'm in a regular... room?" she nodded.

"Yeah, there isn't an age restriction down here."

"Okay cool. Yeah, Billiam, he can come."

"Richie said you can come Georgie." Bill told his ten year old brother, who Richie heard scream at the top of his lungs in excitement.

"Jesus Christ."

"He's missed you, it's b-been awhile since you c-came over, even before this ha-happened."

"Ah, yeah… Sorry about that, Big Bill."

"It's okay, R-Rich. We'll be there soon."

"Okay, be careful."

"We will."

They hung up and Richie sighed, putting his phone on his leg and drinking some of his drink. It was just he and Bev for a few minutes, Maggie and Eddie went to the vending machine, Went was who knows where making sure Bowers stayed right where he is, and Stan was going to the store for reasons they didn't know.

"You okay?" Bev asked. Richie nodded.

"Yeah, I want to go home." he said, biting his lip. "And I feel bad, because I've been... the worst friend to you guys... because I was trying to deal with... my own bull shit."

"You have not." Bev exclaimed quietly. "Richie, don't blame yourself for anything. You were having a hard time, and if anyone were bad friends, it was us because we let it go on for so long."

"You guys are the best." Richie shook his head. "I made you cry, Bev."

"Richie." Bev sighed. "Look, I cried, yes, because I was scared I really lost you as a friend, as a brother, okay? Because of something I did, not because _you_ made me cry."

"You're just saying that." Richie shook his head, turning away from her. Bev stood up and sat on the bed next to him, making him look at her. He had tears in his eyes, ready to fall any second.

"Richie, honey, when you were in that operating room, I went to the bathroom by myself, and I cried harder than I ever have." she told him, cupping his face with her hands. "I was so fucking worried about you, you don't even know. I thought you were going to die. I really did. I wouldn't have been able to handle it, Richie, I wouldn't. So don't tell me you're a bad friend, and stop feeling like you've done us all wrong. You haven't, you've always made us happy, and whatever's happened these last few weeks was our fault, not yours. You were trying." she almost started crying too, wiping his away with her thumbs. "We're the Losers, Rich, the Lucky Seven, and without you, as cheesy as it sounds, we're incomplete. You hold the group together. You may not believe me, but it's true."

"You're a fucken… sap." Richie sniffed. "I feel like I-I'm just a fucken… burden. All I do is… annoy you a-and I'm never s-s-serious at the right- right times."

"Richie, you have _never_ been a burden to any of us. I promise you. You're the groups annoying younger or older brother, older in my case." she smiled at him. "And that's not a bad thing. Not at all. Rich, we can all be annoying fucks, okay, especially me, Eddie and Bill always being nosy and trying to see what you were doing on your phone, remember? You'd get _mad_ at us, the same we would get with you. If I ask you a question, will you promise to give me the real, serious answer?" she asked.

"Promise." he muttered.

"Why do you try to be seen? To be loud, and annoying?" she asked. Her hands still cupped his face.

"I don't want to be forgotten." he whispered. "I don't like to be alone. My thoughts… are fucking… rude? They're horrible. I hate myself...an-and how I act." he shrugged a little, grimacing from the pain. He knows it'll hurt, but keeps doing it anyways. "Because how I act… embarrasses you. I don't want… you guys to be… ashamed of… m-me. I've cried myself to... sleep so mu-much over the ...last few weeks b-because of... how shitty I am to myself. I threw up one time. I feel like... everyone hates me... because I hate me."

"Well we don't hate you." Bev shook her head. "We don't, and we'll do everything we can to prove to you that we don't."

* * *

It wasn't long after Richie and Bev talked, Richie calmed down, and Eddie and Maggie came back in with snacks.

"We found a vending machine near the cafeteria that had that apple juice you like, so I got it for you." Maggie told her son, putting the bottle on his tray. "And grabbed a few cups of pudding since you can only have soft food for now." he gave her a huge grin and grabbed a chocolate one- he wasn't really hungry, but it had been days since he really ate anything, and it'd make them happy, so he'd eat it.

Rather than using a spoon, Richie just squeezed the bottom of the cup so it would be high enough for him to lick it off.

"You are so weird." Bev snorted, smiling at him.

"What, you've seen me do this before, and so have you." he made a face. She shrugged.

"Your dad used to do that when you were younger, and you watched him with a little baby spoon in your hand, and started copying him. You made one hell of a mess and I used to think you shit all over yourself to start with, but you eventually got the hang of it." she snickered.

"Dad doesn't eat pudding though?" Richie said, furrowing his brows.

"Because he and one of his friends had a pudding eating contest." she told him. "He won, but puked it all up in my car."

"Was this before or after Richie was born?" Bev asked.

"Richie was three and didn't understand why his dad wouldn't eat pudding with him anymore." Maggie smiled. "It was pitiful, how Richie stared at his dad with his big ol eyes, asking why he wouldn't eat any with him."

"Awe." Bev cooed.

"Shut up." Richie said, mouth full of pudding.

"Oh God there's pudding." Went practically gagged as he entered the room.

"Look, I'm eating baby... food for the next however long… cut me some slack, bro."

"Did he just call me bro?" Went pointed at his son very childlike, and said son stuck his pudding covered tongue out at his dad. It's a good thing it was chocolate rather than vanilla.

"You are a disgusting child."

"I'm your child." Richie replied. "Your point?"

"Ya got me there."

* * *

"Richie!" Georgie exclaimed the second he saw Richie, the teen trying to lick every bit of pudding out of the cup. "Oh my God, I'm gonna beat up the bad guy that did this." he huffed, rushing over to Richie's side.

"Don't say oh my God, G-Georgie." Bill said.

"You say it, Billy." Georgie replied, and grabbed Richie's free hand. "I missed you, Cheeky. I'm glad you're better."

"I missed you too, squeak." Richie said, smiling at him, chocolate around his mouth and all. "I'm glad too. I'll be up and... able to play games with... you in no time."

"Why did you stop coming over so much?" Georgie asked, blinking at the teen he considered a brother. Richie frowned a little, but reached up and squeezed one of Georgie's cheeks.

"I've just been having... a hard time, buddy." Richie told him softly. "I'm getting better, though, okay? I'm sorry... I haven't come... to see you."

"It's okay as long as you don't do it again." Georgie gave him a stern look and Richie chuckled, and instantly regretted it, his eyes screwing shut for a few seconds.

"Don't make me laugh." he whispered.

"Crap, I'm sorry Richie." Georgie said, letting his hand go and stepping back once.

"What, no, no, come here." Richie patted Georgie's head. "It wasn't your fault. I just hurt. A lot."

"Do you want me to get a nurse?" Went asked. Richie shook his head.

"That shit they… give me, makes me sleep… too much." he said. "I'm alright if I don't... move."

"That's no way to live. I'm gonna see if they can give you something that won't make you sleep." Maggie stood up and left the room before anyone could stop her.

"Lightning McQueen." Went muttered and Richie snorted, grimacing.

"Dad… stop."

"She's the queen to my Mick."

"That makes no sense."

"Jesus Christ." Bev face palmed and Bill and Eddie grinned at each other. Went just looked around the room with a shit eating grin on his face.

"Richie looks j-just like you when yy-ou do that shit." Bill said. "It's creepy."

"Thanks for… not stutter… ing on my… name." Bill just made a fart noise in Richie's direction.

Not long after, Maggie came back with a nurse who promised the medicine wouldn't make him sleep, and would start working soon. Bill's parents came to visit Richie and pick Georgie up, leaving a gift bag and a get well soon balloon and card. None of which he's got a chance to look at, because right after Georgies voice faded down the hallway, someone came in.

"Wow, we have a full house this afternoon!" Dr. Alleyne exclaimed, walking in the room, pushing a table with stuff on it into the room. "I'm heading out soon, but I thought I'd come and get started on the breathing exercises." she said, putting a hand on her hip and looking at them all.

"Huh." Richie made a face at her.

"Do you really think not doing anything to help your lungs is gonna help your breathing?" Eddie said. "Of course you need to do breathing exercises you dipshit." Richie flipped him off.

"If you don't do these, your lungs won't heal properly and you'll get short of breath often, and talking a lot will result in those frequent pauses you've been doing, so… yeah. Breathing exercises!" she clapped her hands and lifted up one of the things on the table, holding it up for everyone to see.

"This, is an incentive spirometer. This is gonna measure how deeply you can inhale and can help you take slow, deep breaths to expand and fill your lungs with air. It also helps prevent more lung problems, like pneumonia." Dr. Alleyne explained. "I'll explain and show you how to do it with my own- you'll have a brand new one, of course." Richie nodded, staring intently at her.

Picking up the contraption, she said, "Hold this up straight, and sit up as straight as possible. Exhale, and then put this mouthpiece in your mouth and close your lips tightly around it. Inhale slowly and deeply through the mouthpiece to raise the indicator." she pointed to it. "Try to make the indicator rise up to the level- number- that's marked. When you can't continue to inhale, remove the mouthpiece and hold your breath for at least three seconds, and then exhale normally."

Those in the room watched as she showed him how to do it. She did it a couple times and handed him the other one, still wrapped in plastic.

"Uh." Richie held it up, and looked at his dad. He held it out to him. "Open this. Please." Went snorted and opened the plastic bag for him, giving it back to him. She and Richie did it at the same time, and he could only get the indicator up to about one thousand, two hundred and fifty. Which wasn't very high.

"That's good, all things considered. The more you do it, the higher you get it, and let's say… if you can get it anywhere between twenty five hundred and three thousand, you can go home. And if you get all three balls up."

"What balls? Where?" Richie asked, confused. Everyone laughed at that.

"I'm getting to it." she grinned at him and picked up one of the other contraptions. "This is another one, and it's much like the other one, but you exhale. You exhale through this mouthpiece, and the higher the little balls go, the stronger your breathing is. You have to sit straight, breathe normally for a few seconds. Inhale, put your lips around the mouthpiece, and blow. It's simple, really." She showed and all three reached the top.

"So what you're saying… is… I have to blow… balls?" Richie asked.

"There it is." Bill rolled his eyes and Dr. Alleyne chuckled.

"You could say that, yes." Richie wiggled his eyebrows. "You can make fun all you want, but it's very important that you do both of these at least six to seven times an hour each, when you're awake. The sooner these balls reach the top, the sooner you can get outta here, as I said.

"Really?" Richie asked. She nodded and he reached his hands out. "Gimme the balls."

Maggie shook her head at her son and Dr. Alleyne laughed, giving him the unused contraption, and placing the other one on the table over his bed.

"Look… I can talk about… balls all I want… now that I'm out, m'kay?" Richie said, glaring at everyone.

"No one said you couldn't." Bev grinned.

"Jesus Christ, I leave for thirty minutes and I come back and all I hear is ball talk." Stan huffed, arms filled with bags of food and other goodies. "Richie talks about balls enough as it is."

"You can never… talk too much… about balls, Stan the… man."

"I beg to differ."

"You beg… alright."

"Beep beep, you shit ball."

Richie couldn't help but giggle, despite the pain.


	20. Chapter 20

For a while, it was just the Toziers, Bev, Bill, Eddie and Stan in Richie's room. Stan got everyone an early-ish dinner- it was only six in the evening. He even went to KFC just to get Richie some mashed potatoes and mac and cheese. He could eat the latter as long as he chewed it enough.

They'd already began eating their food when Ben and Mike arrived with their own, and a single chocolate milkshake for Richie.

"You are the love... of my life." Richie said, taking the shake from Ben.

"Mike bought it." Ben chuckled.

"Love of my _life_." Richie repeated. "Thank you both... though." he said, taking the top off and just licking a glob of whipped cream in his mouth.

"Does your mouth not hurt when you do shit like that?" Eddie asked.

"Yeah." Richie replied, doing it again. "My whole face... hurts. I'm fucked up."

"You're swollen, too." Maggie told him. "Like in the face and your hands. Probably your feet too."

"You look like baby Richie again!" Bev cooked. "Adorable."

"What… was adorable about… me and when? Cause… I don't… remember that."

"Bitch." she replied. "You've always been adorable." Richie let out a snort and shook his head.

"Hold on." Stan said. "Everyone find your favorite picture of Richie on your phone." he whipped his phone out.

"Does it matter if it's a good or bad one?" Eddie asked. "Like if he's doing a dumb face or pose or something?"

"I wouldn't call that.. Bad. Thank you very… much." Richie stuck his tongue out.

"Anyways," Stan shook his head, "no, it doesn't matter."

Stan went first, as he was the first to find his favorite picture. Richie was standing on a skateboard in Walmart, wearing a red child's cape, and doing a superhero stance, the biggest grin on his face. He'd been in the middle of laughing. Stan showed it to him.

"Didn't I knock one of my teeth loose right after this?" Richie asked.

"You did."

"That was a fun day." he sighed. It had been during the summer, all of them were bored, and it was nearing two AM, so they made a trip to Walmart and almost got kicked out.

"Oh never mind, this isn't a bad one." Eddie muttered to himself, holding his phone close to his chest.

"Here's mine." Bill said, showing Richie and taking Stan's phone and showing it to Richie's parents.

"I'm gonna like… make a group chat with all of us just to show our love for Richie, dammit." Bev said, doing exactly what she said. "That way everyone can see the pictures rather than passing it around."

"Are you doing that because you know Richie will go through your pictures?" Eddie snickered.

"Psh, no… yeah…" she couldn't help but laugh a little.

Mammy Bev added The Water, Pappy Ben and six others to a group chat

 ** _Rcihie Tozier Appreciation Squad_**

(7:36 PM) The Water- how. Did you spell my name. So wrong.

(7:36) Mammy Bev- shut your fuck

(7:36) Wenty- what the fuck are these names.

(7:37) Micky- they're Richie's works of art leave him alone.

(7:37) Wenty- my apologies

(7:38) Mammy Bev- omg richie before we send our fav pics come up with names for da parents

"Oh God." Maggie muttered, watching her screen blow up with texts. "I'm not new to the group chats, but this is gonna be wild."

"You should see our chat at 3 in the morning when Richie's on an annoying spree." Eddie said. "It's wonderful."

(7:39) The Water- I detect sarcasm, Eds

"Could you not have said that out loud, you dip?" Eddie asked him.

(7:39) The Water- no

(7:40) The Water- anywyas

(7:40) Stan the man- anywyas

(7:40) Billy Bill- anywyas

(7:41) The Water- fuck your shut

Maggie busted out laughing at that, shaking her head at her son. He just grinned.

 _The Water changed Mama Mags to Superior Mama_

 _The Water changed Went T to Superior Fatha_

(7:42) Superior Fatha- why was my name Wenty in your phone i'm your dad.

"You guys' names were like that in all of our phones." Ben told him.

"I think it was because Richie called Wendy's Wenty one time and yeah, it stuck." Bev added.

"You're a weird child."

"Yes."

"Okay I'm sending my favorite picture now." Bev said. "I have a lot but this has to be it."

She sent a picture of Richie back when he just got his braces taken off, he had the biggest grin on his face, one they hadn't really seen, before or after braces in general. He was holding up two peace signs- because he's Richie- and the middle fingers had the small rubber bands around them.

Ben sent his next, and it was of Stan and Richie, back when Stan was a lot shorter than Richie. He had his hand on Stan's forehead, keeping him from reaching Richie. Stan looked like he was laughing, and Richie was half covering his junk with his free hand, afraid Stan would kick him. He was laughing, head thrown back, actual tears rolling down his cheeks.

Bill's was next, and it was just Richie mid fall off of Silver, Richie's mouth wide open in a scream. Eddie was in the background with a shocked look on his face, pointing at him, Bev next to him cringing and bracing herself, ready for the fall.

The picture Mike sent, was probably the cutest of them all. He was sitting on a hay bail, Pig the Sheep standing on one side of him, nudging Richie's shoulder, and puppies and kittens all over Richie or around him, and he looked ready to cry he was so happy.

Finally, Eddie sent one. It was the calmest of them all, but Richie was still being his dorky self. The seven had been at the Quarry, and Eddie was taking pictures of everyone- for him, it was just an excuse to get one of Richie- and Richie was smiling a small smile, winking at the camera. His hair was all over the place, glasses crooked, but he looked happy and relaxed.

"I'm gonna cry again." Richie mumbled, putting his phone down.

"Please don't." Ben said. "I've cried enough and will one hundred percent cry with you." he said seriously. Richie looked at him for a second and snorted.

"How's your ear?" Richie asked, grinning.

"It's great."

"What about his ear?" Bev asked.

"When I saw him for the first time when he was in ICU I just started crying and he bitch slapped me in the ear with a wet rag."

"Richie!" Maggie scolded. Richie grinned.

"I didn't know... what else to do other... than slap you, man."

"I guess I still deserved it, ya know." Ben shrugged. "No worries." Richie flipped him off when his mom wasn't looking, knowing she'd scold him again.

Eddie's phone started going off repeatedly and then started ringing, and he let out a long sigh, and stood up.

"I'll be back in a few minutes." he said, trudging out of the room. They heard him answer the phone."Hi mom-" he couldn't even get _mommy_ out and she was yelling at him.

"That's unfortunate." Richie muttered. "How much you wanna bet she's gonna ban him from seeing me now?"

"Even if she were to do that, Richie, it wouldn't stop him." Mike said, shaking his head.

"Do you know how many times that boy has been locked in his room and got out of his window just for you?"

"He did it for you guys too." Richie huffed.

"A few times, maybe, but countless times for you."

"I'm gonna ask you guys a serious question." Went said, clasping his hands in his lap and leaning forward a bit. "How bad is Sonia with Eddie?"

No one replied for a good minute or so, and finally, Bill said,

"She locks him in his room a lot."

"Locks him how? Like a lock and key?" Went asked. Bill nodded.

"It's not often. She tried to do it when he came out to her but he was gone before she could get up the stairs and stop him." Ben said.

"That doesn't make it any better." he sighed. "Has she ever hit him?"

"Not that we know of."

"One time." Richie said. "When we were thirteen. He didn't tell me why. He said she literally... spanked him with a fucking paddle like... he was a child."

"Okay… is she forcing him to take the medicine again?"

"If she is, he hasn't been taking it." Bill shook his head.

"Has she threatened to send him anywhere because he's gay?"

"Not that we know of." Ben repeated.

"She blames me for making him gay, though." Richie said. "Not exactly sure how that works but…" Richie shrugged a little.

Before anyone could say anything else, Eddie walked back in, huffing and puffing, red faced, hands balled into fists.

"Will someone come with me?" he asked. "I-I need to get my stuff. I don't care what I do but I can not stay there anymore." he shook his head. Maggie stood up and put her hands on his shoulders, squeezing gently.

"Calm down, Sweetie, you're okay." she whispered to him. "What happened? What did she say?"

"Sh-she said that if I couldn't come home when she asked, she was gonna make us move away so that I-I don't have any _filthy_ friends." he took a deep breath. "And I know you guys think she's full of shit but you don't know what she's capable of. She told me we've still got my dads savings and the reason we were still in our shitty house was because I was disrespectful and didn't deserve a good home life and that I was gonna regret disobeying her. And I can't leave you guys, I can't leave Richie because he needs me and I need him and I need everyone but especially him because I love him and I will lose my mind if I lose him." Eddie stomped his foot for emphasis. Richie's eyes widened and Bev let out a surprised gasp. "I know I'm a pissy asshole and don't seem like I even like Richie sometimes but I do and-and fuck I'm sorry if I've ever made you feel like I hate you but I don't, I love you so much I don't know how to act because I've never loved someone like I love you and Goddammit Richie I'm sorry I'm doing this in front of fuck-all everyone but I love you and I know I'm in the middle of a panic attack but I love you and I don't want to leave you."

"'Good God, Eddie, take a breath." Richie managed to say.

"We're, uh, gonna go outside for a minute." Bev said, grabbing Bill and Ben by their wrists and forcing them up and out the door. Went followed the teens, and Maggie stayed with the two for now.

Maggie squeezed his shoulders and rubbed her hands up and down his arms.

"Eddie, look at me Sweetie." she gently nudged his face towards her. "Copy me and take deep breaths."

It took a few minutes but Eddie calmed down enough to where he wasn't gasping for breath, and Richie wasn't wide eyed with surprise.

"You okay?" Maggie asked Eddie. He nodded.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I'm gonna go out with everyone else and let you two talk, okay?" Eddie let out a breath and nodded.

She left and Eddie stood there watching her for a moment, and when she looked at Richie, he was standing by his bed, holding onto the IV poll.

"What the fuck are you doing get back in bed." Eddie rushed over to him.

"No." Richie shook his head. "I'm fine." he said.

"Richie."

"Eddie." Richie replied. "Did you mean what you said?"

"Why would I lie about my mom saying that-"

"Not that, Eddie." Richie said, shaking his head. "That… that you love me."

"Yes I meant it." Eddie said immediately. "Please, at least let's sit down on the bed. Both of us." Eddie asked softly. Richie nodded and sat down without a second thought, and Eddie sat next to him, taking his hands in his. "I wasn't going to try and talk about anything, the kiss, you know? Until you got out of the hospital."

"Why?"

"I didn't want to add anything else in, you know? You've already been dealing with a lot. You didn't need anything else."

"This wouldn't have... bothered me, Eddie." Richie told him.

"It wouldn't?"

"Eddie, baby, no." Richie shook his head. Eddie could _not_ describe the feeling he got when Richie called him baby. "We kissed _twice_ before… everything fell further… down the hill."

"I know but…"

"The first time you kissed me. Then I asked you to... kiss me, I think. But either way… I wanted it too."

"You sure that wasn't just the pain talking?" Eddie tried to joke. Richie squeezed Eddies hands.

"No, it wasn't. Did you read the... captions on the Instagram posts?""

"I honestly haven't looked yet." Eddie squinted as if Richie would get mad about it.

"Oh, well… God, Eddie. You can be the biggest... asshole ever." Richie started. "Not a good way to start this, but… you're the _cutest_ asshole ever. I love you too, if that... wasn't made clear." Eddie smiled at that. "You've got a temper… but I love it. I love arguing… with you and… just you in general. I can't… It's not a good time for words for me… I'm still out my… mind some."

"I can tell." Eddie smiled at him.

"Bitch."

"Dick."

"Kiss me."

"But… you just said you were out of your mind? I don't wanna do that if you're not thinking straight."

"No, no, no, I mean… There's so much I… want to say to you… and I can't form it… into words the way… I want to, yet. I want you to kiss me."

"Well, if you're sure."

Eddie didn't hesitate as he took Richie's face in his hands and kissed him full on the lips, their eyes falling shut as their lips moved. Richie gripped Eddie's shirt with both hands. He let out a satisfied sigh and Eddie couldn't help but pull away and giggle.

"What?" Richie asked, breathless- but when others come back, and ask what happened, he's not gonna tell them. _I just talked a lot_ is what he'll say. He won't tell them they had a full on makeout session while they were gone.

"You're just cute." Eddie said. "Cute, cute, cute!"


	21. Chapter 21

**I'm pretty sure a decent amount of chapters ago I said one way or another that Richie was older than Bev, but no, he's younger, just so y'all know xD. I'd go back and change it if I wasn't so lazy xD. Anyways, this was supposed to be up Saturday but then I had a family reunion and Sunday I had a birthday party that I was at for a solid six hours. Hope you like the surprise at the end! XD**

* * *

A few minutes after everything happened, Went and Maggie came back in. The two boys were both red faced, but smiling.

"Hey." Maggie said softly. "You should be laying back, sir." she scolded her son.

"I had work to do… ma, leave me alone." he gave her a cheeky grin and she snorted.

"That's what you kids call it nowadays then, eh?" Went asked, an eyebrow raised.

"Dad." Richie whined, hiding his face with his hands. Went chuckled and rested his hands on the two teens shoulders.

"On a serious note, Eddie, we talked about it, and we're gonna go with you to your house." Went told him. "And we're gonna get everything you want to take with you, and you're gonna stay with us for a while."

"We're gonna talk to the Denbrough's and Uris', and see if they'd be open to letting you stay with them." Maggie said, running her fingers through Eddie's hair. "It's not that we don't want you to stay with us, but… With Bev and some other things, it wouldn't be ideal for any of us."

"No, I understand." Eddie nodded. "Plus, I think I'd end up killing Bev or Richie if we lived together. They like to jump on me when I sleep."

"Yes." Richie agreed.

"You better not be trying to jump on anyone for the next couple months." Martha said, walking into the room with balloons and a small gift bag.

"Martha!" Richie exclaimed.

"Who does Richie love more? Eddie or Martha?" Went whispered to his wife, who giggled.

"How we feeling?" she asked. "I see you're sitting up, so no pain?"

"It doesn't feel… great." he said. "But it doesn't hurt that bad… all things considered."

"The breathing exercises are helping already as well, I see." Richie nodded in agreement.

"I'm blowing balls… Martha." he said seriously.

"I'm aware of the ball blowing." he snickered at that.

"Christ." Eddie shook his head.

"Hey, so, I hate to ruin the moment but… the sooner we go, the better for all of us, I think." Went told Eddie. He sighed and nodded, looking at Richie, who looked back at him. Behind her husband, Maggie gave her son a thumbs up and he blushed, before pecking Eddie on the lips and hugging him. Eddie hugged him back.

"It'll be okay." Richie whispered to him. "Ma and dad got you."

"I know." Eddie pulled away and gave him a small smile. "I'll see you later, yeah?" Richie nodded. Maggie and Went hugged Richie goodbye and the three left the room, and the rest of the Losers walked back in.

"I gotta pee again." he said. Mike snorted.

"Need help?" Martha asked, unhooking the IV poll from the wall.

"Nah I think I'll be alright." he said, slowly making his way to the bathroom in the room. Mike stayed nearby just in case, and Bev just straight up went in the bathroom with him.

"Bev- get out!" he made a face at her.

"I will in a second. So?" he stared at her.

"So what?"

"Are you two boyfriends now?"

"Uh… I have to pee."

"Then pee, I ain't gonna look."

"Christ." he grumbled but did his business. "We haven't… talked about it yet."

"It was just you two for like fifteen minutes what the hell were you doing?" she asked. He practically squatted a bit to reach the handle to flush the toilet, grimacing as he stood back up.

"Stuff." he mumbled, washing his hands.

"What _kind_ of stuff?" she wiggled her eyebrows at him. He glared at her.

" _Stuff_." he repeated.

"You totally made out, didn't you." his cheeks turned red.

"Fuck off."

* * *

"How dare you try and take my son away from me!" Sonia shrieked as Eddie rushed passed her and out of the house, two bags stuffed full of clothes and other belongings. Went came down the stairs with another bag and a box.

"How dare _you_ threaten to take your son away from his friends all because you want to control his entire life." Maggie pointed a finger at her.

"Your son is the reason he's acting this way-"

"Don't you dare say a fucking word out of the way about my son, Sonia." Maggie hissed. "My son has nothing to do with any of this. This is your doing. You're the reason your son wants to leave, not mine, not my husbands, not my son, who, by the way, almost _died_ and here you are acting like you're the only one with problems."

"We can do this the easy way or the hard way, Sonia." Went said. "Calm down, and we'll all talk about this with authorities and court, or I'll straight up have you arrested for child abuse and harassment."

"You wouldn't dare."

"I had Alvin Marsh arrested the same night he tried to rape his daughter. I beat every tooth out of Butch Bowers mouth because he fucked his own son up so bad, his son almost _killed_ _mine_. So yes, I would dare to have you arrested for lying to your son, forcing him to take fake medicine, and _real_ medicine he didn't _ever_ need, and locking him in his room for days and weeks- Yeah, that's right, I know all about it. So try me, Sonia."

"Fine. You won't get away with this." Sonia slammed the door behind them the second the two stepped onto the porch.

"Well, that was fun." Went said, stepping down a few steps and holding out the arm with the bag to Maggie. Rolling her eyes, she grabbed his arm and went down the steps behind him, and they made their way to the car. Eddie was typing furiously on his phone in the back seat.

The two adults were quiet as Went backed out of the driveway, turning left to go to their house.

"We're gonna go drop off your stuff at our house, and grab some things for Richie." Maggie explained to Eddie, when he finally got off his phone and looked at them in confusion.

"Oh, okay." he nodded, and went back to his phone.

"You letting the rest of the group know what happened?" Went asked him.

"Yeah." he said. "Richie asked me if I used my inhaler at all and I told him no, and that I threw it at her and it hit her left boob. Stan sent a video of Richie laughing and hugging a pillow." he pulled said video up and showed them while at the stop sign. Went snorted and Maggie smiled.

(7:38 PM) The Water- I'm proud of u eds

(7:38) The Water- fuck sonia and her left boob

(7:39) Mammy Bev- RT!

(7:39) Billy Bill- rt!

(7:39) Spagheds- rt!

(7:40) The Water- Why we yelling my initials

(7:41) Stan the man- It means retweet.

(7:42) The Water- oh i knew that

(7:42) Pappy Ben- then why'd you say "what the fuck what is retweet"

(7:43) The Water- i'm eddie

(7:43) Spagheds- tf does that mean?

(7:44) Mikey (our fav)- he's out of breath from laughing

(7:44) Spagheds- oh at the retweet stuff?

(7:45) Mammy Bev- no richie refuses to go anywhere near twitter hr genuinely doesn't know what retweet is but he's' still laughing at sonias left boonb

 **Billy Bill changed Mammy Bev to boonb**

(7:46) boonb- choke

(7:47) Pappy Ben- wow eddie really does love richie cause he didn't yel at him for the comparinso

(7:47) boonb- comparinso

(7:48) Pappy Ben- baby :(

(7:48) boonb- nooo don't frown be happy!

(7:49) The Water- gross

(7:49) boonb- shut. Ur one to talk

(7:50) Stan the man- Your use of "ur" makes me uncomfortable.

(8:13) Spagheds- sorry we just left richie's house otw back

(8:14) Spagheds- yes i lov him im so gay

(8:14) Billy Bill- a whole mood. Same

(8:15) The Water- omg im love you too i'm gay for youuuu

(8:15) Spagheds- ok i got your favorite pillow and one of thos fluffy ass lil blankets you like cus ik you keep getting cold and earbuds and more boxers to change into cus it's gross to wear the same pair for days even at the hospital

(8:17) Billy Bill- richie just deadass let out a sob so loud a nurse came in to check on him

(8:17) Spagheds- he WHAT

(8:19) boonb- he's crying but said it's happy tears. The nurse also said that with trauma like he's been through, it easy to get emotional af and that he'll probably cry a lot for the next while, especially w his meds when he goes home.

(8:27) The Water- lmao eds did you go thru my underweqar drawer? Find any goodies?

(8:27) Spagheds- i will murder you

(8:28) boonb- underweqar

(8:28) The Water- shut ur fuck

* * *

Richie cried again when Eddie helped him get comfortable in his bed, and _again_ when Eddie crawled _in_ to bed with him to cuddle.

"I'm such a bitch." he whined.

"No you're not." Eddie snorted.

"You had a traumatic experience, Richie, it's normal and okay to cry." Maggie told him, patting his ankle.

"I know, it's not… the first time. Still sucks."

"Not the first time?" Ben asked.

"You've had other traumatic experiences?" Mike asked.

"Yeah, Eddie's mom." he muttered. Eddie tugged on a loose curl and Richie snickered. "I have, yes but… those are for another day. Don't wanna be a... bigger bitch talking about that... shit."

"Okay…" Stan trailed off. He stood, looking at his phone. "I should probably go, my parents want me home soon." he let out an annoyed sigh. "They're gonna try and come to see you tomorrow, Rich." he said, standing next to the bed. Richie held his good hand up and Stan grabbed it immediately. "I'll come first thing tomorrow, yeah?" Richie nodded.

"Be careful." he said. "Tell your mom… howdy."

"Jesus Christ." Stan rolled his eyes but leaned down and kissed Richie's cheek, causing the bedridden boy to smile so wide it tugged at the cuts and scabs on his face. "Love you."

"Love you too, Stan the man." Richie saluted him and Stan chuckled. He either hugged everyone goodbye or fist bumped them, and gave Bill a quick kiss before leaving.

Next to go was Ben and Mike, Ben because Richie knew his favorite show was coming on soon and didn't want Ben to miss it, and Mike because he had some stuff to do at the farm, even as late as it is. Bill left a few minutes later, and all that were left were the Toziers, Eddie, and Bev.

Eventually, Eddie got off the bed due to the both of them sweating, deciding he was gonna take his own shower- he of course brought his own belongings earlier- because he _hated_ sweat.

While he was in the shower, Went and Maggie decided to surprise the two remaining

"So… I know this past week, the past couple of weeks rather, have been a mess and not fun." Maggie said, reaching into another bag Went brought in earlier. "So, we got you two a gift to cheer you guys up!" she did jazz hands and they laughed. She gave Bev a box, and passed the other to Went, who gave it to Richie.

"Open them." Went said with a grin, sitting next to Maggie. The teens looked at each other and immediately tore into the boxes.

Bev opened hers first and picked up a white shirt with the words "Best Big Sister" on it. She laughed and did a little happy dance, turning it and showing it to Richie, sticking her tongue out. He stuck his tongue back out at her and picked his own shirt up.

His brows immediately furrowed, reading the words. "Best Big Brother"

"Bev's older than me though." he said, looking at his parents, confused. Bev looked at his and made a face.

"Think about it." Maggie said. "Bev's your big sister, or will be officially, in a few months. And you're someone's big brother."

"Is it a joke because I'm taller?" he asked. His parents shook their heads and he and Bev looked at each other. "Or wait… mom…" Richie looked at her, really looked at her. Despite everything that's happened in the last week, she seemed to glow with a certain… happiness. "Pregnant women _glow_." he whispered to himself. "Mom, are you pregnant?" he asked. Instead of saying anything, she stood up and put her hands on her belly, holding the bottom of her shirt down to show the small but definitely noticeable bump. Richie gasped comically. "Holy shit." his lip trembled as he looked at her, and then his dad, and back at her. "Mama…" he held his hands out to her and she hugged him, sitting on the side of the bed. "That's… awesome! And… gross." he shivered and fake gagged and she laughed.

"Oh shut it, how do you think you were made?"

"Don't wanna… think about… _that_."

"So you're okay with having a little sibling? You're not mad?" Went asked. Richie stared at him for a minute and shook his head.

"No… I'm happy. If I could, just know… I'd be screaming and… dancing too." he told them. "Because it is… awesome but my lungs do… not work correctly. Oh God I'm Eddie."

Bev let out a sudden squeal and danced in place, jumping up and down, reminding Richie of the youngest girl from "Despicable Me". Pulling off her shirt- she wore a tank top under it- she put the new shirt on, running to the bathroom- completely ignoring the fact that Eddie was half naked now, hadn't even turned the water on- to look at herself with it on. She came back, strutting and doing a twirl, stopping at Richie's head and grabbing it, kissing his forehead. He chuckled lightly.

"I'm not taking this off until you can put yours on and we can take pictures together." she said, matter of factly. Maggie took a picture of the two, mid sentence, smiling at the grins on both her kids faces. Bev may not have been hers legally yet, but she was in her heart.


	22. Chapter 22

**Thursday, December 28, 2017**

The next day, Richie was a bit of an irritable asshole. The police finally came and questioned him, asking question after question, making him answer ones he didn't want to. He had to listen to the sound of him getting his ass beat in full this time, and Eddie used his laptop to transfer the video onto a flash drive for them to take for evidence. They'd found his glasses at the "crime scene" along with a notebook with nothing in it pages ripped out, covered in blood.

He also had many visitors today. Anyone who came to visit him and it was a good amount, twenty or more random people he knew that no one else did. He was nice to them, short, though, and didn't speak much, but thanked him for their well wishes, but sighing angrily every time a nurse came in to check his blood pressure or someone offered to help him up when he went to the bathroom, or wanted to walk a bit, or even just move to the recliner. He muttered under his breath every time, and those trying to help knew he was swearing at them.

"Obviously, the police questioning him did nothing for his mood today, only made it worse. And so many visitors was probably overwhelming, he's been used to the same circle of people going in and out of his room since he woke up. Besides that, he's used to being independent with most things." Dr. Alleyne told his parents and Bev later that afternoon, after the visitors had come and gone, the only ones now coming in and out now were the Losers. Eddie was in Richie's room with him now- Eddie was the only one Richie was really fine with today. "He's frustrated, he's not used to people helping him, or asking for help. This is normal. He's gonna have those moments of pure anger, and sadness, thankfulness for being here, probably a lot of regret and depression, wishing he wasn't experiencing all those feelings." she leaned against the wall. "Richie's been through a lot, not even just with the accident. The boy who did this to him, he's pretty much been ruining Richie's life for years, correct?"

"Yeah." Bev said. "All of us, but mainly Richie because… well… yeah. His entire group of friends, really, bothered Richie. I've seen some… not so nice things written in the girls stalls about him, and I can only imagine what's in the boys."

"Richie's just having a hard time with that, with the surgery, aftermath... And if I know my patients- and Richie in general, I know he's gonna apologize to all of you soon. He doesn't mean anything he says to you, he just doesn't understand this new feeling. There'll be bad days, and good days, iffy days… days where he doesn't want to be bothered, days where all he wants is to be touching someone, being comforted by them. Just watch him carefully, study him to figure out those days. Of course, don't make it obvious that's what you're doing, it'll only make things worse. It's all you can really do about that."

After a small outburst from Richie later that day, Went was sent in to talk to him, one on one while Maggie, Bev, Eddie and Stan went to get dinner. Richie was sitting on his bed, one leg bent under him and the other straight out, elevated slightly on a pillow. His bad arm rested on another pillow, the navy blue sling dark against his pale skin and pale hospital gown. He stared at the TV like it murdered his entire family.

After a minute or two, Richie looked at his dad with a blank look.

"Hey, Rich." Went said quietly. "Can I talk to you for a few minutes? You don't have to say anything if you don't want to, or answer any questions I ask, okay?" Richie's eyebrow twitched but nodded. "Okay. I just want you to know that no one is mad or angry with you, upset with you, nothing like that. We're sorry if we've overwhelmed you. We know you've had a rough time and are trying to help, but I guess watching every move you make isn't helping, is it?" Richie shook his head. "I know you've had a lot of things bother you today, but can you tell me what the main thing that's bothering you right now?"

"The beeping." Richie said immediately. "The fucking beep, beep, beep is driving me insane... on top of you guys talking and the TV and I can't sleep, even when... you're whispering. The beep won't let me sleep." his lips twitched up at that.

"Okay. Does music help you sleep?" Went asked. Richie nodded. He went to Maggie's bag and pulled out a smaller bag, and handed it to his son. He raised an eyebrow at his dad, who just motioned for him to open them. Richie opened the bag and pulled out a pair of bright red headphones. He looked at his dad, eyebrows raised. "Surprise! I went and got them for you last night when you're other one's broke. Those were old as fuck, son, you had to know they'd quit soon. The timing was just shit." Richie nodded in agreement. "Now, they're gone to get dinner, do you want to listen to your music and try and catch a few minutes of sleep until they get back?" he asked. Richie nodded again. Went sat back in his chair and took his phone out, texting the group chat and letting them know Richie would probably be asleep when they got back, and had chilled out some.

It didn't take long for the boy to fall asleep, and he was snoring quietly the next time a nurse came in to check his blood pressure. She did it as carefully as possible and thankfully didn't wake him up. The others arrived a while later, and they ate quietly.

About an hour after everyone finished eating, Richie snorted awake and squinted as he looked around the room, rubbing at his neck. Maggie eyed him as he did so.

"The fuck kind of wake up was that?" Eddie muttered. Went snorted.

"He did that all the time as a baby."

"I did what as a baby?" Richie asked, taking the headphones off.

"Snort awake."

"Oh." he put them in his lap and rubbed his eyes. Someone- probably his mom- took his glasses off him at some point while he was asleep. He grabbed them off the table and put them on. "I wonder if the new baby will do that." he muttered.

"The who?" Stan asked. Richie's eyes widened for a split second before they quickly flickered over to his parents who looked like they were about to laugh.

"The new baby Stan, you heard him." Eddie replied, half asleep. Bev giggled.

"What new baby?" Stan asked.

"I'm pregnant, Stan." Maggie told him, and to prove it, showed him her bump the same way she had Richie and Bev.

"Oh my God." Stan covered his mouth for a second, before standing up and hugging her and then Went. "Congratulations!

"Thank you!" Maggie smiled.

"Congrats for what?" Eddie asked, opening one eye to look at them. He saw Maggie smooth her hands over her bump and his eyes popped open. "You're pregnant? Since _when_?" he smacked his thigh for emphasis.

"Well, I'm sixteen weeks tomorrow so… like four months? Give or take a few days."

"Holy shit. Congratulations!"

"You guys really didn't notice Bev's shirt?" Richie asked.

"Well she is older than you." Stan said. "We figured it was a joke."

"I got one too, it's on the counter over there." he pointed at it.

They congratulated them again, Richie did his breathing exercises a few times, ate his own dinner, and went back to sleep when Stan left. The only other time he woke up was when his parents left for the night- Bev and Eddie convincing them that they needed to rest in an actual bed too- and they told him they loved him and goodbye before leaving.

* * *

 **Friday, December 29, 2017**

The next morning wasn't much better. Richie definitely slept more than he had been, but he woke up upset from a nightmare he wouldn't talk about- all he'd said was that it wasn't of what happened with Bowers.

His head was hurting from his hair being up for so long, especially without washing it in a week. And that means he hasn't showered or brushed his teeth in that long, and it was only now that he realized it.

"If I can get my ass up to go take a piss or a shit, I should be able to at least brush my fucking teeth!" he grumbled, lifting one hand in the air and letting it fall back down hard onto the bed. "I feel gross, and I'm sure I smell gross and _look_ gross. My hair is disgusting, and when I wash it again, I'm sure half of it is gonna fall out!"

"Baby, calm down okay? I brought your toothbrush and toothpaste, we just weren't sure you felt up to brushing them because we all know how long you brush them." Maggie told him, pulling said items out of her purse, toothbrush in a Ziploc bag. He gave her a flat look but took them when she handed them to him, muttering a soft,

"Thanks." he got up on his own, much easier than it had been, and made his way to the bathroom without holding on to the IV pole. Another nurse moved it to the other side so that he wouldn't have to walk all the way around his bed, and now the wires and cords stretched all the way to the bathroom.

While he was brushing his teeth, Maggie went to the nurses desk to ask if he could take a shower, or wash himself off some kind of way, but Dr. Alleyne walked up right as she was about to ask.

"Everything okay?" she asked.

"No, he's still in a bad mood. He wants a shower, which is understandable."

"Ah."

"I was coming to ask if he could take one here or wash himself off some kind of way."

"Give me a few minutes and I'll come and bring you some stuff." Dr. Alleyne told her. Maggie furrowed her eyebrows a bit but nodded, going back to Richie's room, where he was harshly brushing his teeth.

"I don't know how he has gums anymore." Eddie said told her. She snorted and shrugged. She told them what Dr. Alleyne told her.

"Wouldn't what he needed already be in there?" Bev asked. Maggie shrugged again.

"I don't know." she said.

Richie just sat down when Dr. Alleyne came in, hands behind her back. Richie eyed her.

"How we feeling today, Richie?"

"Gross."

"You feel like going home today?" she asked, grinning. Richie stared at her.

"Don't fuck with me. I'll rip this IV out and walk my ass home if you are."

"Richard!" Maggie scolded.

"Well! I want to shower and sleep in my _own_ bed."

"Well, I'm not fucking with you." Dr. Alleyne told him, and brought her hands from behind her back, where she held a stack of papers. Discharge papers. "You're not pausing when talking anymore, unless it's when you talk too fast like anyone does, you got all three balls up, and with the other one you've reached the highest number."

"What can I say, I'm good at blowing." Richie deadpanned.

No one said anything at first, but when they saw his lips twitch and shoulders just barely shaking, they started laughing. He couldn't help but grin at them.

"Martha is already on her way here with a wheelchair to wheel you out, and will be waiting here with us as you guys collect your things." she told him. Bev and Eddie immediately began stuffing things in bags while the parents signed the papers, while Richie looked at his phone. Martha walked in with the wheelchair, a bag of supplies inside it. She grinned at Richie when he gave her a thumbs up and picked up a box, walking over to him.

"I got you a present." she told him, shaking the box. "Nicotine patches! This box hasn't even been opened yet. You do know that you can't smoke for a long long time, right?" she told him. He nodded. "You shouldn't smoke at all, especially at this age." she looked at him pointedly and he grinned.

"Thank you! That's what I've been trying to tell these two." Eddie pointed at Bev and Richie. They stuck their tongues out at him and he flipped them off. Dr. Alleyne was explaining how to take care of Richie's incisions to Went and Maggie, so Martha began to tell the teens. She pointed to the bag.

"I'm gonna remove your IV, okay?" Richie nodded. "That has everything you'll need to take care of your incisions." she began, grabbing a band aid to place on his arm. "There's gauze, medical tape, butterfly stitches in case you get scared the incision will pop open in one spot when you get the staples out- which I highly doubt it will, as it's rare. Scar ointment to help you a bit, ointment to fight possible infection while the staples are still in, There's a prescription for pain medicine that'll make you drowsy at first, so no school for a couple more weeks, or driving for that matter. You shouldn't drive until two, maybe three weeks after staples are removed." she put the band aid on and smoothed it down gently.

"When do I get them removed?" he asked.

"Next week Dr. Alleyne will call your mom or dad and set up an appointment in her office for a checkup. About a week or so, I believe." Richie nodded. "There are written directions in here as well, of course, and you know how to and how often to change your patch, right?" Richie nodded again. "Good." she walked over and patted his shoulder. "I'm proud of you, Richie, you've been strong this week." he smiled at her and nodded.

"It's gonna suck not seeing you everyday, but I'll be glad to get out of here."

"I know." she chuckled. "I'm sure we'll see each other around town. When I'm not working, I'm out spending time with my kids at the mall, so if you ever go, check out the hub where all the kiddie toys are. I'll probably be there." she laughed and he grinned.

"Are we ready?" Dr. Alleyne said.

"I need pants." Richie said. "It's cold outside."

"Ah, true, and a jacket. Went, grab his pants out of that bag, I got a jacket for him on me." she said, holding it up. As they helped him get the pants and jacket on, Dr. Alleyne said,

"It's gonna sound ridiculous, but the best way to shower without getting your incisions wet is to keep the gauze on, but cover it up with plastic wrap or wax paper and tape it with medical tape, and after your shower, you can remove all of that and take a warm wet cloth to clean around the areas." Richie nodded.

"I'm doing that as soon as I get home."

"Do you have a seat of sorts in your shower?" Dr. Alleyne asked Maggie, who nodded. She turned back to Richie. "It'd be better if you sat down to shower the first couple of times. I know you can stand for a while but showers are different, you're scrubbing and bending over and all, so it'll be easier on you." Richie nodded.

"Crazy of you to assume I don't already sit in the shower." he replied. She laughed at that.

"I honestly don't know, he used to as a child before he was able to do it himself, so he probably does." Maggie chuckled.

"And I've heard that you like to wear button up shirts?"

"Like a dad on vacation, yes." Richie replied. She snorted.

"It'd be best to wear those for a while too, until your shoulder is feeling better. And speaking of, if you feel like you can stand taking the sling off, you can take it off on Monday." Richie nodded. "Now, is it okay if I have a moment alone with Richie?" she asked. Everyone agreed and decided they'd go with Went to get the car and take their belongings, deciding to meet Richie, Martha and Dr. Alleyne downstairs.

After they left, Dr. Alleyne sat in the free space on Richie's bed. "You… have really amazed me. In my fifteen years of doing this, I've never seen anything like it. Most people still wouldn't be breathing on their own, or even walking around or shifting in their bed by themselves. You're strong, so strong, and I know you can get through anything. You've gone through a lot, from what I've been told, and still have a sense of humor." Richie smiled so softly at her, it almost made her cry. "Don't lose that humor, be you. If someone doesn't like you for who you are, screw them, they don't deserve you."


	23. Chapter 23

**To those who wanted some more Reddie, well, here you go :D :D :D**

 **Also, sorry this one took a while! Life has just gone to shit, but either way, we have a lot more of this story to get through, so it's not gonna be over any time soon :D**

* * *

The very first thing Richie did when he got home was not go lay in his bed, nor did he go and take a shower. He wobbled his scrawny ass straight to the piano and sat down, cracking his knuckles and beginning to play before anyone could stop him. It was sort of difficult for him to do, considering he was used to slouching a bit as he played, and he was stiff straight thanks to the staples in his stomach, and of course because of the sling, but he played, and he played damn _good_.

"Holy _shit_." Bill muttered as the rest of the Losers filed in behind the Toziers, having headed this way the second they knew Richie was on the way home.

Richie didn't pay them any mind as he played. He didn't play for long, but he played "Make You Feel My Love" and no one said anything, just watched him quietly. When he stopped and looked up at them they clapped, grinning at him.

"Dude, you're so good!" Ben exclaimed. Richie shrugged a bit, his cheeks turning pink. "No seriously, you've got to play for us again sometime, like the whole song."

"Maybe, yeah." Richie agreed.

"And sing for them!" Bev sing-songed to him, leaning over a bit and resting her head on the top of his. He snorted.

"I don't think I could sing right now if I tried. You know, having had a hole in my diaphragm isn't really helping my singing career." Richie said, reaching up and patting Bev's head. He let out a sigh. "Now, who wants to help me up the stairs and help me shower? Cause I'm not _allowed to by myself_ yet." he grumbled.

"I mean, any of us can help you up the stairs man." Mike said. "It's about who you're comfortable with helping you."

"Oh." Richie bit his lip. "I mean… it doesn't really matter cause I'm gonna wear my boxers so no one sees my junk, you know?"

"Jesus Christ." Eddie face palmed. "I'll help you though, Chee, if you're cool with it."

"Perfectly fine with it Eds." Richie squeaked and Eddie grinned. Bev shook her head at them with a fond smile.

"Well, while you go and get washed up, we're gonna get the couch all made up and comfy for you while your friends are here, since I'm sure you don't want to be stuck in your room." Maggie said, "Unless you'd _rather_ be in your room, because I know that's where you'd all hang out… Which do you want?" she asked her son.

"My room. No offense but that couch is as uncomfortable as Satan's throne and I miss my bed."

"Jesus Christ." Maggie snorted but nodded. "Go take a shower and we'll get your room set up." she told him. He nodded and stood slowly, leaning down a bit and kissing her cheek.

"Thanks, Ma." he said, smiling at her sweetly. She smiled back at him and patted his cheek.

"Of course, Sweetie. Now go wash up, I'm tired of seeing your hair all matted up and gross." Richie rolled his eyes but nodded.

"I'm tired of the _feeling_." he muttered, making his way towards the stairs. The stairs weren't much of a challenge, it didn't hurt him any, he just got out of breath much quicker, and by the time he and Eddie reached the top, he had to stop and rest for a minute. "This is fucking stupid." he grumbled.

"I know." Eddie leaned his head on his good shoulder. "You'll be as good as new in no time, though, you heard the nurses, they can't believe you were able to go home today."

"I don't feel like it." he huffed. "I feel gross, and not just because I haven't showered."

"Well, I'm sure you will feel better after your shower. You can go ahead to the bathroom and I'll get you some clothes to change into, and I need to go get the plastic wrap and medical tape to put over your bandages." Richie nodded and slowly made his way down the hallway to the bathroom, sitting on the closed toilet lid.

Eddie quickly went and grabbed a pair of sweats, underwear and one of Richie's long sleeved button ups and took them to him, before running downstairs quickly and grabbing what he needed.

When he got back up stairs, Richie was tugging at the strings of his hospital gown, trying to untie them but wasn't getting anywhere. He huffed and looked up at Eddie when he came in.

"I can't even untie my fucking hospital gown, Eddie." he whined.

"That's because those fucking things are pains in the ass in general." Eddie told him, reaching around Richie to untie the top and middle knots of the gown, the bottom one hadn't been tied. "There we go." Eddie helped him take off the sling and Richie let the gown fall off his shoulders.

"I don't think I even need that bitch." Richie said, glaring at the sling. "My shoulder feels fine. It's sore, but not enough to where I need that thing."

"I'd still wear it until Monday." Eddie told him, slightly nervous. "You don't want your shoulder to get all fucked up."

"Okay." Richie agreed. "What do I do in the shower, though?"

"Well it's okay if it's off for a bit, like in the shower, I guess." Eddie shrugged. "I think it'll be fine." he grabbed the hospital gown and pulled it off Richie completely and Richie immediately crossed his arms over himself, trying to hide the ugly, dark purple bruises covering his body.

"Rich." Eddie muttered softly. "You don't have to hide from me."

"I look disgusting, Eddie." Richie sniffed. "The bruises are ugly, the scratches, the cuts."

"You act like I've never seen it before."

"Yeah but not this bad."

"You're right. But you don't look disgusting. You look hurt, you _are_ hurt. It's not your fault. You'll heal, the bruises will fade, the scars will fade, and you'll feel better." Eddie cupped Richie's face in his hands and ran his thumb under Richie's bruised eye. "This will go away, the split lip will go away, the cuts will go away." Eddie smiled at him. "The bruises don't make you ugly. You're beautiful with or without them, Richie. I'd prefer you without them, obviously, because it means your hurt but… you're beautiful no matter what you or anyone else thinks."

"Where has _this_ Eddie been all my life?" Richie whispered, and Eddie thumped him lightly on the forehead.

"You are such an _ass_. I can and will gladly go back to being an asshole if that's what gets you off." Eddie said, standing up and turning on the water.

"Noooo don't do that." Richie shook his head, reaching up and tugging at the hair tie in his hair until it came out, and his hair fell down to his shoulders, sticking out in random places. "Good God that hurts." he rubbed at his head. Eddie frowned and ran his fingers through Richie's hair as best he could.

"You're gonna need a serious amount of conditioner on that hair." he said. "I'm not even gonna try to get the knots out." Eddie huffed. "Did no one actually think to _brush_ your hair?"

"I was an asshole most of the time, Eds, I don't think anyone wanted to come near me with a hairbrush."

"I would. Fuck all this aftermath shit." Richie snorted. "Alright, well, let's get you armored up, I guess you could say, and then you can get in." Richie had already somehow managed to get out of his sweat pants on his own, before Eddie even got back. So he saw the bruises there too. _A walking bruise,_ Eddie thought. _That's pretty much what he is._

Richie just nodded and let Eddie work, his gentle, quick fingers taping the plastic wrap over Richie's bandages in no time.

When he was done, Richie stood up, and carefully stepped into the shower, still in his boxers, of course. He let out a satisfied sigh as the hot water ran over him, on top of his head, his hair getting soaked as well as in his face.

"Goddammit Richie, you're gonna drown yourself with your own hair." Eddie said, reaching in and moving it out of his face. Richie just grinned at him, and wiped at his face to get the water off.

"You have no idea how good this feels, man." Richie said. "I haven't showered in probably two weeks."

"You weren't even in the hospital a week?" Eddie cut his eyes at him. "Richard Wentworth Tozier, I know you didn't go that long without showering."

"I was sad, Eddie." Richie said, shaking his head. "I was sad and didn't feel like doing anything. I barely even ate anything, honestly."

"God, I'm sorry." Eddie bit his lip. "I should have done more. I could have."

"I wouldn't have let you." Richie told him. "Don't sweat it."

"Bull shit." Eddie rolled his eyes. "I'm gonna make it up to you, one way or another." Richie just smiled at him. He sat down on the little seat that was built into the shower and let Eddie get to work. He made sure Richie's hair was _completely_ wet, before grabbing his own bottle of conditioner off the other seat, and poured what seemed like half the bottle into his hand.

"Jesus." Richie muttered.

"You need it." Eddie snorted, and got to work.

Once he was satisfied with the conditioner, he put it in a ponytail to hold his hair out of the way so he could wash Richie's shoulders and back. Richie huffed a little as Eddie ran the wash sudsy wash cloth over his shoulders, annoyed that he physically couldn't do it himself.

Same with his legs. The only thing he could really wash himself was his privates, which, he was glad he could do _that_ and Eddie didn't have to.

"I'll wash the goods before I get out." Richie told him. Eddie rolled his eyes but nodded.

Eddie rinsed the conditioner out and it was much easier to run his fingers through, so he took a comb and ran it through to get extra knots out, and then used shampoo to wash his hair- which he did twice, and then conditioned again but with less product.

As much as Richie hated he couldn't do it himself, he was enjoying himself probably a little too much. He knew this type of thing wouldn't last long, once the staples were out and the incision healed more.

Once Eddie was completely done with Richie's hair and the rest of his body, they looked at each other, Eddie a mostly brown blob to Richie.

"So… how are we gonna do this?" Eddie asked.

"Um… well I know I can get out of my underwear and all…" he said.

"No I know, just… how are we gonna get you dried off?"

"We'll figure it out then?" Richie offered. Eddie snorted but nodded. Richie stood up as Eddie closed the shower curtain and he heard him moving around some, and then heard a lot of water hitting the ground and Eddie realized that Richie was probably ringing his underwear out before he threw them into the hamper. He was correct, and Richie threw the balled up underwear over the shower curtain and into the hamper. "Did I make it?" Richie asked.

"Yeah." Eddie chuckled. He heard Richie whisper "Yes!" and shook his head. He sat where Richie sat earlier, two towels in his lap.

"I can wrap a towel around my waist." Richie told Eddie. "When I'm done, and you can do the top or whatever."

"Okay. I have two towels." Eddie told him. Richie hummed in response, and a minute or so later, the water turned off and he poked his hand out of the curtain. Eddie handed him a towel, and after a couple more minutes, Richie stepped out onto the shower mat. Eddie hopped up and let Richie take his place. Without a word, Eddie unfolded the towel and towel dried Richie's hair a bit, before gently running it over his upper body.

It took a while, and a few tries, but they got him dried off and dressed without any slip ups of any _kind_. They decided to leave Richie's shirt unbuttoned and let him breathe some, and they were gonna ask Maggie if they needed to uncover his incision for a while

"I need a fuckin' nap." Richie muttered, sitting on the toilet lid again. Eddie chuckled.

"I'll go see if your beds ready." he told him, and kissed his cheek before darting out of the bathroom. Richie smiled.

It didn't take long for Eddie to come back, and when he did, he said,

"This is gonna be heaven for you."

"Oh really?" Richie asked. Eddie nodded.

"Lot of pillows and blankets." he told him. Richie grinned and stood up, and the two made their way to Richie's room, where the rest of the group were waiting with snacks and drinks in hand.

"We're gonna have a movie night." Bill said, bouncing up and down a little. "We haven't had one in a while, so…"

"I'm all for it." Richie said. '"Definitely."

"You guys make sure Richie doesn't bust his ass trying to get into bed again, I'm gonna go ask Maggie if I need to take his bandages off." Eddie said. They either nodded at him or gave him a thumbs up, and he kissed Richie's cheek before darting down the hallway.

"Awe look at him, he's blushing!" Bev cooed. Richie flipped her off and went into his room.

"Goddamn." he muttered, walking to his bed. Eddie wasn't lying. He didn't know there were this many pillows and blankets in the house. He pulled the blankets back, and managed to crawl/scoot his way to the corner where the wall was without bothering his staples. He leaned against the pillow and let out a breath, closing his eyes and resting for a moment. The moment was ruined by Bill, however, who jumped on the bed next to him and asked,

"So, whatcha wanna watch?"


End file.
